Merlin's a Girl!
by trillion42
Summary: What would happen if Merlin somehow got turned into a girl? And what's the knights and Arthur's reaction? And why is Arthur being so mean to Merlin? Is it because Gwaine is acting like a flirt around her? Is he beginning to have feelings for her? And what happens when Merlin turns back into a guy in the middle of this chaos? Then back into a girl? (This was my first fic, be nice)
1. Chapter 1

King Arthur Pendragon was not happy. His lazy manservant was nowhere to be seen, Gwaine was so drunk that he started flirting with Arthur, mistaking him for a hot blonde, and Gwen had been avoiding him all day. So, doing what he usually did, he was going to take all his anger out on Merlin, after he found him, of course. He stormed to Gauis' chambers and flung open the door.

"Gaius-" he started, then stopped, seeing only Gwen and another woman, who was sobbing, there. "Oh, sorry."

Gwen stepped in front of the other woman, shielding her from view. Her fake smile told him something was wrong. "Arthur," she said in a falsely cheery voice, "What brings you here?"

"Oh-um….I was looking for Merlin." The king was trying to catch a glance of the hidden woman, but Guinevere still blocked his view. All he saw was a flash of blue eyes that looked vaguely familiar.

"I haven't seen him all day," said Gwen, her voice still feinting cheerfulness. Arthur could swear the woman behind her was rolling her eyes.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Alright. But are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Umm..no, she's very shy."

"Can she attest to that?"

"Yes, but she stutters when she speaks, so she'd rather not."

"Can she-"

"_She _can speak for herself!" snapped the woman. She stood up and passed Gwen. "No, I'm not shy, I do not stutter, and you should know me, prat!"

Arthur looked at her. She was fairly young, maybe mid-twenties, with a gorgeous face and prominent cheek bones. Her hair was long, silky and black, which she was using to hide some remarkable ears. Her eyes were a piercing blue, with just a hint of gold surrounding them, which currently were red-rimmed as she was crying. She reminded Arthur of someone…..someone close to him. What had she called him?

It then hit him. He was staring at a girl version of Merlin. Merlin had a sister? Why didn't he tell him? And why should he know her?

"Alright, clotpole, close your mouth, you'll catch flies," she said, almost defensively. Arthur snapped his jaw up, realizing it had dropped when he saw her. "It's me, Merlin."

Arthur's jaw dropped again. Then he laughed. He wasn't sure what was so funny about all this (maybe because Merlin was a GIRL) but he laughed, in almost a cruel way. "Merlin's a girl!"

"Shut up!" said the woman Merlin, turning red, making her look just adorable. Arthur laughed harder. "It's not funny!"

"It most definitely is!"

Merlin stormed out, tears in her eyes. On her way out she smacked the back of Arthur's head. "What's her problem?" the king asked Gwen.

"Problem?" Gwen started sarcastically, "Well, I don't know. Maybe because she was a he yesterday, she discovered the joys of menstruation, and her best friend just laughed at her crisis. Gee, I don't know."

Arthur felt guilt bubble inside him. Why had he acted that way? If Arthur had been turned into a girl, he knew Merlin would've at least tried not to laugh. And the joys of menstruation…poor Merlin.

"You're right Gwen," he said, hanging his head in shame. "I'll go apologize."

"You damn well will!" Whoa, when had Gwen become so…..angry?

"Guinevere, you may a sister of a knight and have a relationship with one, and you may be me my friend, but remember, I am king of Camelot," said Arthur with a very serious face.

Gwen gasped. "Of course sire. I'm so-"

Arthur laughed. "I really need to work on my humor skills. Sorry Gwen, I had to mess with you."

Gwen glared/pouted. "Don't you have to apologize to you manservant, or should I say _maidservant?_"

"Correct you are…."

**So what up people of Camelot? Did you love it? Hate it? Well, whatever but please review! Merthur will ENDURE! With Gwen/Lancelot on the side and Gwapple too! And maybe some Gwaine flirty time... So whatever! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin stormed off, smacking the prat as she went. What was his problem? Sure, Merlin had expected laughter, but not the way he did it. When he had laughed, he sounded…..cruel. Uncaring that his best friend had suddenly been transformed into a girl. Arthur was such an ass.

When Merlin woke up that morning, something was wrong. There was a curve to his body and his hips were more prominent. There were two very large lumps on his chest. When Gauis had walked in, he gasped. Merlin was a girl.

Gauis first had found Gwen, delicately explaining the situation. After that, he left the two in his chambers so they could have "girl talk." Gwen then helped Merlin in a bra and tried to force him a dress, but he (she?) refused. Next thing they knew, as Merlin's first day of being a woman, her (his?) time of the month came. Gwen had very slowly explained to him (her?) the joys of _that_ and how to handle it. Then she explained all that came with it, mood swings, cravings, bloating, and whole lot of other great stuff like that. Then the king of clotpoles came in.

"Merlin," said a voice when she was in the armory. She jumped. And…..fell.

"Arthur?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, helping her to her feet, "Listen, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that."

Merlin glanced at his arm still protectively around her shoulders, then she smirked. "Am I actually getting an apology from Arthur Pendragon?"

"Why yes you are. Don't tell anyone, though, you'll ruin my reputation," Arthur teased. Their banter continued on as usual, as if nothing happened, but then they heard voices approaching. Arthur shoved Merlin behind him, while she rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

The unofficial Knights of the Round Table walked in to armory. They were messing around as usual when they spotted a beautiful creature standing next to Arthur. Gwaine got there first.

"Why, hello, my beautiful lady," he said, swooping down and kissing her hand. "I am Sir Gwaine, Knight of Camelot. May I ask who you are?"

She rolled her eyes and looked at Arthur, who had been glaring at Gwaine ever since he laid eyes on Merlin. "Seriously, Arthur? Am I that hard to recognize? I'm even wearing the same clothing! I thought the neckerchief would be a dead give-away!"

"Wait, a minute…." said Lancelot, "Merlin?"

"Yep."

"Whoa, Mer," said Gwaine, looking her up and down, "What happened? You're freaking beautiful!"

Arthur wrapped his arm around her and glared at Gwaine, but Merlin didn't see. "Oh, thanks Gwaine. I dunno what happened. I just woke up like this," said Merlin, dully. The other knights, minus Lancelot as he was seeing Gwen, were glancing at her appreciatively, too. Arthur's grip on her tightened.

"We best be getting back to Gwen," said Arthur, steering her away. The knights said their farewells to them as Merlin raised an eyebrow at Arthur.

"What was that?"

"What was what, Merlin?"

"Why were you glaring at them the whole time?"

"I was? I didn't notice," said Arthur, not looking at her. They were back at Gaius' chambers. He pushed her in the door, to find Gwen had left.

"Well, see you tomorrow, Arthur," said Merlin, heading to her room.

"What? I'm not leaving you here alone," said Arthur. She was all alone in here. What if someone broke into the castle? No one would be here to protect her.

She rolled her eyes. "Please, I'm a grown man, or I guess woman. I've been alone before. And since when do you care?"

Arthur shrugged, feeling awkward. "Well, goodnight, Merlin."

He left then, images of Gwaine kissing Merlin's hand still in his head. Why did he feel angry?

**Hey, hey, hey, what up? So you like? You hate? Review to let me know! Oh and earlier about Gwen helping Merlin in a bra, just so you know, they didn't have those back then. Just saying that so when you do your report for school on magical medieval kingdoms, you won't say they had bras somewhere in there. So whateves! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Good morning sire!" came a cheerful voice when Arthur woke up. He was going to throw a pillow at his manservant when he remembered that he now had a _maidservant_.

"Merlin, what are you?" he asked, surprised to see her filling a tub with water. Did she really expect him to bathe in front of her?

"My job," she said simply. "Now get in before it cools too much."

"Ummm…Merlin."

"Arthur, I've seen you naked before. Just strip and get in!"

Arthur blushed at her choice of words. "But that was before…"

"Before what? I'm still the same Merlin!"

"Ummm…alright."

Arthur when behind the changing screen and pulled off his nightclothes. He wrapped a towel around his waist as he walked out. As he neared the tub, Merlin gave him an expectant look. _Drop the towel and stop being such a wimp_, her face seemed to say. He did and quickly got in. When Merlin came forward with a sponge, he stopped her.

"You don't even know _how _to bathe yourself! Just let me do it!"

After that awkward bath and a quick breakfast, Arthur was ready for training. With his armor on, he was ready to go. Then he noticed Merlin, behind him, with a mountain of swords in her arms. Arthur stopped and tried to take some.

"What are you doing?"

"They looked too heavy for you."

Merlin snorted. "Please, I've carried heavy things."

Arthur just let it drop. They approached the field to find there was three new recruits. Arthur smiled. Fresh meat.

Training went pretty usual, with them hacking at each other with swords, and Merlin running here or there doing this or that. Arthur found it cute the way she would run up to one person, say what needed to be said to them and give them that Merlin grin. Most were baffled by her appearance, but most assumed nothing out of the usual. When Arthur realized he was watching his servant more than is knights, he called a break.

"Hey, you see that girl over there?" said one of the young recruits to Sir Leon.

"Yes, that's Merlin," said Leon. He too had been looking at her.

"Merlin," breathed the boy. "Is she one fine looking thing or what?"

Arthur saw red. How dare that insolent boy call Merlin "fine." Wine was fine; Merlin was a goddess. The boy shouldn't even be _looking_ at her.

"You mean my servant, Merlin," said the king. The boy took a sharp intake of breath for he heard how close the king was to his servant, but he always assumed it was a _man_servant.

"Fine? She's far from it." Merlin froze, hearing this. She recognized the voice. Could it be? "Merlin's so ugly, she could scare the bugs out of her hair, if she tried. And Jeffery, is it? It's best not to ogle at simple servants. Especially stupid ones like Merlin," Arthur had sneered. Merlin felt very hot as her face turned bright red. She thought Arthur was done, but he wasn't.

"Remember, Jeffery, one mistake with a servant could ruin your whole reputation. Don't get too close to them; after all, take Merlin for example, they're just servants, they matter less than you," Arthur said arrogantly. He had looked at Merlin when he had said this, directing it at her, and was surprised to find her face bright red and tears welling in her eyes. What had he said again?

He didn't have time to ponder that as Gwaine's fist collided with his face. As he got up, he felt a pang of something as he saw the knight run after Merlin, who had fled the scene.

What exactly had he been thinking when he said that?

**What up? So you like? Arthur's so mean isn't he? Calling poor Merlin "just a servant." Wait...I made him do that! Oh, well. So review if you love this and review if you hate it, I don't care! Whatever! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

What the hell Arthur? _What the hell?_ What was that son of a bitch playing at? Merlin was so beautiful! How couldn't he see that? And she definitely was not just a _servant_. She was a human being, not some piece of furniture! Arthur, Gwaine thought, did not deserve a friend like her (him?) He was kind, brave, loyal, and now a girl (which Gwaine secretly was happy about, because now he might have a chance with him.)

Gwaine found her in an abandoned part of the castle. Through a window, she was sadly over-looking the training fields, where Arthur was still training his knights. Gwaine felt a pang f jealously wash through him. Even when she was a guy, Merlin had always been pulled to Arthur. Now, after being insulted by that asshole, she was still watching him.

"Merlin," he whispered. She turned and smiled.

"Hey, Gwaine," he/she said (whether he was considered a he or she really confused Gwaine.)

"You okay?"

He/she smiled at him again. "Yeah. It just hurts that someone considers me a stupid, ugly, worthless servant, especially a friend."

"Merlin," said Gwaine, sitting down next to him/her, "You know you are not ugly, stupid, or worthless."

"Yeah, I know, but it still hurts."

Gwaine wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned in to his shoulder, then rested her head on it. Gwaine felt butterflies in his stomach. He always had sort of a thing for pretty woman with kind personalities, and Merlin fit that description.

"Oh, sorry Gwaine!" Merlin shot up off his shoulder and cursed under her breath. "Sorry, even since I've been turned into a woman, I've been behaving like one as well."

"That's alright. You basically are one."

"No! I'm a man! I'm just trapped…in a woman's body," the last words were barely a whisper. Gwaine felt guilt rush through him. While his _friend_, his bro, was seeing life from a different gender, he had been planning on the best way to get the manservant turned maidservant to kiss him.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," said Merlin. "I shouldn't have yelled."

Gwaine laughed. "Only you would apologize for behaving like the rest of us would. Really, if I was in your situation, I would have the whole castle feeling my wrath."

Merlin smiled as Gwaine hugged her. Merlin then quickly pulled away, muttering about "damn breasts being squished." They sat there in companionable silence, until Merlin got up.

"I'm gonna give Arthur a piece of my mind," she explained, then left.

Gwaine smiled, hoping she would give him hell.

Later, in the evening, when Gwaine arrived in his chambers, he found a small basket of apples on the table with a note.

_Dear Gwaine, _said the note, in Merlin's tidy yet untidy scrawl.

_Thank you for punching Arthur and coming after me when I ran away. You're a true friend._

_-Merlin._

Gwaine thought three things at that moment:

_Aww, how sweet! _

_Oooooh, this apple tastes great!_

And, _shit, I'm in the friendzone._

**So? What you'd think? Please review! And thank you to Luka-Knight, JelloGirl323, and Kalia-of-Camelot for your amazing reviews! You guys are great!**


	5. Chapter 5

"ARTHUR PENDRAGON!"

Arthur looked up from the papers he had been reviewing, only to see one pissed off Merlin. He sighed. Oh joy.

"What the hell what that earlier?! You've always told me that I'm not 'just a servant' but then you not only insult me, but basically call me just that!" she had slammed the door shut behind her, so it was likely the guards wouldn't hear her screams.

"Look, Merlin-"

"Don't you 'look, Merlin' me! You really don't have an excuse, except that you're king, and a royal ass!"

"Merlin-"

"I don't want to hear it, alright? You call me an idiot all the time, but today was just-"

"MERLIN!" yelled the king, not able to tolerate even male Merlin's screaming. "Look Merlin, I did it for your own good."

She smiled in sneering way. "Really? It's good to insult people?"

"No, it's not. I didn't mean one word of it. That Jeffery just wanted to get in your pants and-" he was interrupted by Merlin's very loud laughter. "_What?_"

"Jeffery….wanted….get in my pants!" she choked out.

"What's so funny about that?"

"Do you really think I'd let him?"

Arthur blinked. Merlin could take care of her/himself. Arthur never cared before that Merlin might have admirers. Come to think of it, did the servant before this little gender change happened?

"Ummmm…"

"You, Arthur Pendragon, are a clotpole. What happened to your face?"

"Gwaine," he said, wincing at the memory.

"Ah," she smiled. "Got to love Gwaine."

_Did she just say she loved-_ Arthur shook his head to clear his thoughts. "So are we good? I really don't want my servant choking me over this matter while I sleep."

"I guess," sighed Merlin, never really angry for that long.

Arthur smiled and enveloped her in a hug. She didn't hug back, and her form tensed. Arthur pulled away and held her at arm's length. "What?"

"Other than you just squishing my new breasts"-she ignored his snickering- "you _never _hug me. When I asked you for a hug a few weeks ago, you started chasing me!"

"Well…"

"Well, _what_?"

"You're a woman now….."

"Ugggh, I just had this conversation with Gwaine! I'm not a woman, I'm just trapped in a woman's body, yet everyone keeps calling me a 'she,'" she said, throwing hands up in disgust for the situation. "And why would you treat me any different?"

"Well…"

"Know, what? I don't want to hear it!" She stormed out.

Arthur sighed and went on to daydream on how nice it felt to have those breasts and the rest of Merlin squished against him.

**The ending sounds a little perverted, don't ya think? Maybe I should change the rating to 'T.' So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, the next one will probably be action packed. Sorry this one was so short! And please review, bad or nice things! Hopefully nice!**


	6. Chapter 6

The next week went along as usual, except that Merlin was a girl, of course. Many a towns men were giving her looks that she/he wasn't used to receiving and some openly flirted with her. The problem was Merlin was beginning to enjoy it, flirting. That worried him. He also noticed while the knights were practicing one day, how handsome many of the looked (especially a certain blonde one with a title.) Maybe this woman body changed not just his appearance, but his mind. Then always after thinking this, a question would bubble up. How had this happened?

"Merlin," whispered the king, urging her forward. They were on a hunt, and as usual, Merlin carried the game and extra weapons. Arthur took the cross-bow from her and aimed at a sound from the high bushes. There was a deathly silence, until a cross-bow bolt went whizzing through the air. Arthur had not launched it.

With a cry, several men jumped out, startling them. Everyone pulled out a weapon, but their adversaries only had their eyes on two people: Arthur and Merlin, who was shielding him. One man stepped forward, raising a sword and bringing down across the servant's throat.

"One move and this pretty thing gets it," he said, very close to Merlin's face. Arthur tensed behind to her. No one moved. Except Merlin, whose hands were behind her back. Arthur felt them touch his waist line. He felt his heart flutter. Merlin really felt that way? But why would she decide to tell (well, basically) him here? Was she afraid she might not get the chance later? Was- he felt his knife being pulled out of his belt. Oh_, that's _what she had been searching for.

"Now, King Arthur, if you don't want your girlfriend here to-" the man never finished his threat as Merlin gutted him and he fell. The other bandits (was that what they were? They were usually) started at their supposed dead leader, looked at Arthur and the knights, and whipped out their swords.

Arthur easily deflected first man that came at him. He glanced at Merlin, surprised to find the servant surrounded by fallen men and tree branches. He would question that later. Right now, he had to fight two Percival-sized men that had strange tattoos all over their shirtless chests. He slashed his sword at them, trying to disarm, but succeeded in getting one of their chests. The injured one let out a roar and stabbed his sword at the king, but the latter was too fast. Arthur quickly got behind him and stabbed. Now where was the other one?

He met the ground. Someone was on top of him. Long, black hair interfered with his vision; _Merlin_. What was that useless servant doing now? Strong arms pulled her off of him and he got to his feet. The second tattooed man was dead at his feet, along with the rest of the assailants. The battle was over.

Arthur grinned, and turned to face his men to give a victory speech, but a sight stopped him. Blood was on his chest, but it was not his own. Merlin had pushed him to the ground. Merlin had laid across him, shielding him. Merlin had been stabbed by the tattooed man, who had been stabbed by a knight. Merlin's blood was on him.

**So okay, maybe not as action packed as I anticipated, but whatever. And who thinks I should kill Merlin off? **


	7. Chapter 7

Sir Theodore was not of the Round Table, but he still had sworn an oath to protect the king. When he saw the maidservant take a sword for Arthur and then feebly try to shield him, he knew he had to do _something_. Just as the huge assailant was about to bring his sword down, Sir Theodore's went through his chest. The man fell. Theodore pulled out his sword and took in the scene around him. The battle was now over, and only two had minor injuries, save for the girl. The knight stooped down, and picked her off the king, holding her bridal style. She gave him a weak smile.

The king then stood, smiling with pride at his men, but then it faltered. His eyes slid to his chest, where his armor was stained with blood. He realized it was not his own. His eyes traveled to Theodore. He gasped and ran over, almost ripping the girl out of his hands. Arthur went to the ground, cradling Merlin against his chest. None of the knight there were of the Round Table, so many averted their eyes. With Arthur's glare, they decided it was a good time for a walk.

"Merlin," Arthur whispered.

She smiled. "Hey."

"You're going to be alright."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she said, her hands going to the gaping hole in her stomach. Arthur stopped her and took her hands into his.

"It was an order," he said. His face was very close to her's.

"You know I never do as I'm told."

"Merlin," Arthur said, using his kingly voice, "I forbid death from taking you."

She laughed and a little blood dribbled from the corner of her mouth. "I never imagined I would die as a woman."

"You will not die."

She smiled again. "You can't control everything, Arthur."

"Watch me," said Arthur. Merlin's breathing became shallow.

"Arthur," she whispered. "I have something to tell you."

He waited, stroking her hair to try to comfort her. "I-I have magic…" her voice was barely audible. She closed her eyes and knew no more.

Grief consumed Arthur. He did not care that Merlin had magic. Tears fell from his eyes. He pulled the body closer to his chest. No one was around. For the first time, Arthur felt hopeless, like life wasn't worth living. He looked at his servant's face and noticed the beauty of it. That face, which every morning would wake him up, everyday engaged in banter, every night said a farewell. He pressed a kiss to his servant's lifeless lips, remembering those times. He noticed something as his mouth consumed Merlin's, tears still running down his face. Those lips weren't lifeless. Breath, shallow and uneasy as it was, was there.

Hope bubbled in the king's heart.

**So? What'd you think? And thank you to Loves-the-Supernatural, MegamiTenshiHime, WibblyWobblyGirl, jwolf8791, Kalia-of-Camelot, Abysslullaby, and Laura-Ella for reviewing. Most of their reviews are the reason why Merlin's alive in this chapter. (Okay, I really wouldn't have killed Merlin, but I had to know if people wanted me to.) Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin woke up, pain searing his stomach. Something else was wrong, too. There was curves in his body and to very large lumps on his chest, that felt floppy. What the hell? Someone was holding his hand. He felt hot. What the hell had happened?

Memories slowly flooded back to him. Waking up as a woman, going on the hunt, taking a sword for Arthur. Arthur…..that prat, was he okay? Merlin forced his eyes open, to find everything a blur. Someone was speaking. He couldn't tell who, but it was giving him a headache. Someone was stroking his hair. Would they just leave him alone?

"Hey," he breathed out.

"Merlin!" said a voice. "You're awake. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"What-"

"You took a sword for princess."

"Gwaine?"

It was Gwaine, along with the rest of the Knights of the Round Table. Gwen and Gaius were there too. Arthur was sleeping, as Gaius had urged him to after spending so much time with unconscious Merlin. This was, apparently, the first time Arthur had left Merlin's side.

"How am I alive?"

There was a pregnant pause before Gaius answered. He said Merlin's magic must have interfered. Merlin was calm hearing this news, then started to hyperventilate. He had told Arthur he had magic…the knights and Gwen knew, by Gauis probably telling them….shit, shit, shit, shit, no one's supposed to know! What would happen? Execution? Banishment? Being shunned?

"Merlin! Calm yourself. It's alright," said Gauis soothingly. Merlin tried to stop hyperventilating, but her (his?) breath came out shaky.

"It's okay, really, we've suspected," said Gwen, gripping her (his?) hand.

"Yeah, those falling tree branches make a lot more sense, now," said Elyan. Merlin was touched that Elyan, Percival, and Leon were here. They were friends, but he (she?) was always closer to Gwaine and Lancelot.

Merlin laughed slightly, until the pain in her stomach prevented her. Gauis quickly presented her with a bottle of foul tasting liquid that burned her throat. A pain-killer. Merlin was grateful, but she (he?) felt extremely drowsy now. Typical, Gauis; a sleeping draught. Why did the physician insist that patients that were just unconscious go back to sleep? Before Merlin could make a mental note to ask that later, sleep took her (him?).

"Will she be okay?" asked Gwen.

"In time. Merlin's magic is very powerful and probably doing more than what I'm doing," said Gauis. "Now we better let her sleep. All of you out."

"But Gauis-" pouted Gwaine.

"_No_. Merlin will be fine when she wakes again."

"Again?" asked a voice. The king of Camelot walked in Merlin's tiny bedroom.

"Yes, Merlin-"

"You were supposed to tell me if she woke up!" Arthur cried indignantly. He looked terrible; huge dark circles under his eyes, hair askew, eyes wild, and a short start of a beard forming. He had stayed by Merlin's side for at least two and a half weeks. Finally, with pestering from not only Gaius, but the knights and Gwen, he took a short nap, no longer than he needed (half an hour).

"Sire, you needed-" started the old man.

"No, Merlin woke up and I wasn't here. She probably hates me," said Arthur, taking his usual seat next to Merlin's head and grasping her hand. "Alright, maybe I was being melodramatic when I said 'hate,' but she probably was….." Arthur was at a loss for words, realizing she probably wasn't even annoyed.

"She was fine," Gauis assured him. "Now all of you out!"

Gwen and the knights left, Gauis giving them the 'if-you-don't-do-what-I-say-something-bad-will-happen' eyebrow of doom. He turned to Arthur, who did not submit, but instead found Merlin's new long hair fun to run his finger through. Gaius sighed as he walked out. When would that boy learn that he loved Merlin?

Back in Merlin's room, Arthur kept vigil. He had wanted to be the first face Merlin saw when she woke up, but unfortunately Arthur presumed _Gwaine _was. What was it about that knight that attracted Merlin to him? He was pretty sure they were just friends, but Arthur knew Gwaine wanted more.

Gwaine. Why did he have to be so attractive? Funny? Nice? Brave? Kind? Everything Merlin deserved? The man Arthur was jealous of. The king would never admit it, but he was slowly falling for his manservant turned maidservant.

"Ar..thur," Merlin breathed out. His eyes flashed to her face. She was still sleeping. "Arthur," she said again, this time with a small smile on her face.

_Is she really dreaming about me?_ Arthur wondered.

"Gwai..ne," she breathed, then giggled in her slumber.

Arthur felt crushed. Even when she slept, Merlin like Gwaine more; he had made her laugh.

"Oh, Merlin," he whispered, stroking her raven hair.

Her face broke out in the typical Merlin grin, as if she knew he was there.

**Soooo? You like? Arthur's so head over heels for Merlin. And thank you to Loves-the-Supernatural, Don-V, Luka-Knight, Saellyra-of-Mirkwood, and WibblyWobblyGirl for reviewing. And Don-V, how did you know that will happen? Are you psychic? Hope you enjoyed! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin walked into Arthur's chamber, nearly three weeks later, only to find the king completely dressed. Merlin rolled his eyes. The prat was acting weird lately. Dressing himself, cleaning his room, carrying things for himself, and generally being nicer to Merlin. It bored the servant half to death.

"'Morning Arthur," she said. The king smiled brightly and walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Merlin rolled his eyes again.

"Alright today, Merlin?" asked Arthur, eyes sliding to the spot where her stomach had been pierced. Merlin was going to roll her eyes so much today, that they would fall out.

"Fine, Arthur. Don't you have training?"

The king nodded and went to pick up his armor, which Merlin had polished the day before. Merlin, per usual, helping him into it, but Arthur kept tensing whenever her hands would touch him. Weird.

The training field was had knights milling around everywhere, some practicing and some gossiping. Gwaine was just in the middle of telling Lancelot a thrilling tale about him and an angry tavern maid, when he stopped and spotted Merlin. The knight immediately walked over, placing an arm around her waist. Merlin's eyes rolled. Gwaine had been acting strange too. Arthur materialized at her other side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. While Merlin rolled her eyes, she did not notice the two men glaring at each other.

"So, Merlin, do you have plans for tonight?" asked Gwaine, batting his eyes at her.

"Umm, no, except serving Arthur," she said, slightly flustered by the question.

"Yeah, and you'll be working late tonight," said Arthur, with Merlin missing the possessiveness in his tone.

"Whatever it is, I can probably use my magic to get it done faster," said Merlin. Both men tensed. Magic was still illegal, and everyone just ignore Merlin's gift. Besides, Merlin hadn't chose to have magic, so were they really going to punished her for something she couldn't control?

"Oh, Merlin," Gwaine laughed.

"Hmmm…magic's illegal, last I checked," said Arthur raising an eyebrow.

"Please, Arthur. You love me too much to kill me," said Merlin, jokingly. Arthur's heart stopped, then realized she was joking.

"Yeah, and princess would have to answer to me, if he did," said Gwaine, putting on his 'I'm-a-freaking-knight-of-Camelot-and-no-harm-will-ever-come-to-you' voice.

"Aww, thanks Gwaine," said Merlin. "Oh, look there's Lancelot. I have to tell him something." The servant untangled herself from the men's arms and ran at the other knight.

"What are you playing at?" Arthur growled at Gwaine.

"Just friendly conversation," Gwaine replied.

"You really seemed to want her to be free tonight."

"And you really seemed to want her all to yourself tonight," Gwaine said with venom. Arthur gaped at him before responded.

"What?!"

"How did you put it? We all know you just want to get in her pants," sneered Gwaine.

Arthur blushed and regretted his earlier choice of words. "Gwaine, I do not think of Merlin that way! But you certainly seem to."

"Merlin is my friend; I would never do anything to hurt her!"Gwaine cried indignantly.

Arthur glared at him and Gwaine glared right back. The knight opened his mouth to say something, but Merlin suddenly appeared next to both of them. Her face was flushed and a smile plastered on her face. Lancelot came up behind her and grabbed her waist. Gwaine and Arthur had jealousy burn in their hearts. They saw him whisper in her ear, his words making her giggle.

"Alright, I won't tell," said Merlin, unable to keep a smile off her face.

Lancelot nodded and walked away. Merlin kept giggling while Arthur wrapped his arm around her waist and Gwaine doing the same with her shoulders. Her giggling wouldn't stop. After a few minutes of pestering her, she answered.

"Oh, Lancelot's going to propose to Gwen tonight. But don't tell anyone!"

**Duh, duh, duh! Gwen and Lancelot are getting married and who will be Merlin's date to the wedding? Hmmm...got to type that next chapter. Thank you to sakuraflowerstar for reviewing chapter 8! And to Luka-Knight, did chapter 7 really make you cry? I didn't know I was that bad of an author! (JK, I knew what you meant. Thanks.) Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

"Yes! Yes! With all my heart!"

Two old men watched as a young girl launched herself at a knight in a tackling hug. The young man had just proposed. "That's true love," said the first man to the other.

The other made no reply as he watched the girl drag her new fiancé over to a passing servant with raven hair. "Merlin! I'm getting married!" cried the girl.

"Congratulations!" smiled the servant. It was strange, the servant was a girl, but she wore trousers instead of a dress.

"I've got to tell Elyan! Bye Merlin," cried the girl, dragging the young man behind her. The servant laughed and started walking down the street, when a young blonde man came up behind her. He grabbed her shoulders, making her jump. She nearly fell, but the man caught her by the waist.

"You should be more careful, Merlin," said the man, with hands on her waist and eyes never leaving her's. He was obviously smitten.

"It was your fault, prat," she said, stepping out of his grip.

"It's not my fault you're an idiot," the blonde said with a smile.

"You're a dollop-head!" she said. The old men looked at each other, shocked. Rumor was only the king's servant used that insult, among others.

"And you're a clotpole," said the man, evil grin on his face.

"That's my word," pouted the girl.

"And it suits you perfectly," said the blonde, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, which turned into a headlock. He started to mess up her hair. The old men watched, horrified that he was hurting her, but they realized she was squealing with laughter, not pain. When she was blue in the face, he released her but kept his arm on her shoulder.

"You're a prat," she giggled, wrapping an arm around him as well. The two then set off in the direction of the castle.

"Now _that_," said the second old man, "is true love."

**Merlin and Arthur, a match made in heaven! Next chapter will be the wedding or days leading up to it. Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Three weeks later, the wedding was almost here. On the eve of the next day, Gwen and Lancelot would be married. Only one problem: Merlin didn't have a date.

Merlin would be best man (well he still _was_ a man) and bridesmaid (Gwen really didn't have that many girlfriends) so it was essential to bring a date. Gwen had chewed him out earlier on it:

"Merlin, this is my wedding and I want you to have someone to dance with. You are bringing a date."

"But Gwen-"

"No, you are bringing someone."

"Should I bring a man or a woman?"

That question haunted him. The man he was on the inside told him to bring a woman, but his woman on the outside _demanded_ she bring a man. So men it was. But who?

_Wait, _thought Merlin, _I know who would be perfect. He's kind, nice, funny, and strong. And we would just go as friends, right? And he doesn't have a date. Perfect._

After cleaning Arthur's chambers (with magic, of course) she hurried off to find her would-be date.

Meanwhile, Arthur was trying to find the best way to ask Merlin to be his date. He thought flowers, but that didn't seem right. Poetry? Hell, no. Music? Why'd he even think that? In the end, he decided to come right out and ask her.

"MerlinwillyoubemydatetoGwen'sandLancelot'swedding?" Arthur asked as he entered his chambers, which Merlin was supposed to be cleaning without magic. She wasn't there. _Dammit, _thought the king.

He walked tried to find her everywhere, but it wasn't until he neared the armory until he heard her voice. "So, you will?" she said. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Arthur could practically hear her throw herself at someone. His heart sank. She had a date. And it wasn't him. _And _she sounded excited about it. It was probably Gwaine. He walked down the hall to go mope in his room.

While that had been happening, Gwaine had been eating an apple, pondering whether or not he should ask Merlin to be his date. Then he thought sadly, _Princess probably got to her first. _It kinda hurt. Good thing he had apples to eat, or he might have gotten extremely depressed by the fact that he would never get out of the friendzone.

The next day, everything was in an uproar, trying to prepare. Gwen and Merlin locked themselves in a room to 'beautify' themselves and the men really had no idea what to do. They just played strange games that involved drinking and occasionally swung swords at each other. Just an hour before the wedding, they all bathed and put on their good clothes. When it was time, Lancelot stood at the altar and waited. Guests started to mill in. The girls weren't there yet, according to Elyan, so that caused for worry. In time Merlin appeared next to Lancelot, as role as best man, and assured him Gwen was ready.

Music started to play the wedding march and all the guests silenced and stood up. They watched as Elyan led Gwen down the aisle, then as he gave his little sister away.

"Dearly beloved," started Geoffrey of Monmouth, who was preforming the ceremony, "We are gathered here to today….."

The ceremony turned out fine. When Gwen was supposed to say "I do" she said "I would do those things, even if you hadn't asked me. So, of course, I do." There was much cheering at that.

The reception was a hit. Everyone turned up and all agreed it to be a fine party. After Arthur danced with a few towns girls (which made them swoon), he escaped the crowd and headed to the back. He was surprised to find someone else there.

"Princess," said Gwaine, looking equally surprised, "What brings you here?"

"I could ask you the same question," replied Arthur. "Shouldn't you be dancing with Merlin?"

"Umm….no. I thought she was going with you," shrugged Gwaine.

"Really?" Arthur raised an eyebrow. "I heard her ask someone earlier, and I guess it was you."

"I wish," said the knight and Arthur nodded. Suddenly the crowd parted, revealing two people doing an intricate dance. The one person, the man, they recognized as Percival. The woman, they didn't. Her black hair was waist-length, shiny, and flowing. Her dress was a pale blue that gripped her curves perfectly. When she turned, Gwaine and Arthur saw her face was pale, with full red, smiling lips. Her cheekbones where high, be they added to the affect. Her eyes, oh her eyes, were a startling blue that sparkled as she laughed. They realized it was Merlin.

Yet, it wasn't. There was no neck chief, no typical Merlin grin, and no aura of clumsiness. It wasn't Merlin. After dancing, she bowed to Percival and surprisingly came over to Gwaine and Arthur.

"Hey, guys," she beamed at them. "One of you want to dance?"

"Won't Percival get offended?" Arthur somehow managed out. This was not Merlin, or at least _his_ Merlin.

She laughed. "Oh, no. We just came as friends. And I think he's preoccupied at the moment." She nodded to where the tall knight was trying to dance with a cute redhead.

"I'll take your offer," said Gwaine, stunned at her beauty. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor. Arthur watched, unable to keep his eyes away, as they twirled around, locked in each other's arms. It should be Arthur out there, he felt. Envy rippled through him and worsened as he saw her place a kiss on Gwaine's cheek.

Merlin bowed as the dance ended to Gwaine and they broke apart. His hand went to the place where she had kissed him. They walked back over to Arthur.

"So-" started Merlin, before Arthur grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the exit. Gwaine tried to follow, but Gwen and Lancelot decided that the knight should meet some people he would probably not remember or care about the next day.

"Arthur, where are you taking me?!" demanded Merlin, anger swelling up inside. They were in the street now.

"Home," said Arthur, not looking at her.

"Why? I'm not even drunk."

"I didn't like the way some of the men were looking at you," he said, focusing ahead.

"So what? I can handle them," Merlin shrugged. His grip on her wrist tightened. "Oww, Arthur, you're hurting me."

He did not let go, but faced her. "Merlin, you can't walk a straight line without falling over, I doubt it would be that hard to take advantage of you."

"I doubt any of them would try. They're all nice people."

"See, Merlin!? You're too trusting. You're easy prey." He gripped her shoulders, now. Really hard, as if he didn't want her to get away.

"Please, Arthur I-"

"You didn't even notice that Gwaine was practically planning to undress you later!"

"Gwaine's my friend, he wouldn't do that!"

"Oh, yes he would! Half the men there were too, I bet!"

"Really, Arthur? I think I could've have handled it."

"No you couldn't have, you too stupid to."

"Oh, so I'm stupid, now?!"

"Yes-no-I mean..those man would have taken advantage of you. I forbid you to be with any men."

"Excuse me, but I'm not your property. You can't tell me what to do."

"You're my servant; you'll do as I say."

"No," she stepped out of his grasp, "I think I'll head back now, and maybe dance with a few men. Maybe go home with one…." She said that to spite him.

"You'll not dare…."

"Watch me."

She took a step before he turned her around. Arthur raised his hand. She felt a searing pain slash across her face.

Arthur had just hit her.

**Arthur's an asshole sometimes, right? Thank you to Book-girl-fan, Don-V, Luka-Knight, and jwolf8791 for reviewing! You rock! **


	12. Chapter 12

_I just hit Merlin._

He had raised his hand.

_I just hit Merlin._

He felt her gasp.

_I just hit Merlin._

He saw her raise a shaky hand to her face.

_I just hit Merlin._

Realization dawned on Arthur. He had hit Merlin in a fit of anger. What type of man was he?

"ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" she screamed, slamming her fist at his nose. "YOU DID NOT JUST HIT ME!"

Blood trickled from where she punched him. "Merlin-"

"NO! JUST NO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A BETTER MAN!"

"Merlin, I'm sorry."

"SORRY'S NOT GONNA CUT IT, MR. 'I'M KING AND I HIT MY SERVANTS!' _NO_, SORRY'S NOT GONNA CUT IT!" She punched him again.

"Merlin-" he started quietly. She glared and turned away into the night, darkness consuming her. Arthur felt tears forming. He had hit Merlin, the one person he honestly cared about. He felt his knees give out and they hit the ground. _Merlin_.

Someone was approaching him, but it mattered not. He felt someone sit next to him. Only when he felt a hand on his shoulder did he move. Turning, he saw a very old man.

"Why did you hit her?" asked the man.

"Because…." Arthur really didn't have a reason.

"C'mon, spit it out."

"Because I was jealous," he whispered. Shame, self-loathing, and sorrow filled him.

"And why were you jealous?" Arthur didn't know the man, yet he kept prodding with these questions, which, surprisingly, Arthur answered.

"Because the other men…."

"That had nothing to do with it. You only feel jealous if you love someone," said the man. His eyes were wise and vaguely familiar. "I saw you two the other day. Love like that doesn't happen to everyone."

"Do you really think she-" Arthur started.

"Loves you? Yes."

"After tonight, do you think she will?" Arthur knew he didn't really deserve Merlin. He always thought that, even when Merlin was a man, and now it became a reality.

"Depends," said the old man. "What would you do for her?"

"I would do anything," said Arthur. And he meant it.

"Let her know that. Make her know. Show you feel sorry for hitting her. You are sorry, _right?_" the old man gave him a pointed look.

"I would rather face hell's fire than hit her again," said Arthur. He felt so sorry, that he had actual pain in his gut, a result of grief.

"Then tell her. She might not take you back, but she will know. And, trust me, she will take you back. Like I've said, love like yours doesn't happen to everyone," said the man, eyes glowing with something Arthur didn't recognize.

"What should I do now?" asked Arthur, feeling like a small child asking a teacher for help.

"Go to her." With that Arthur stood up and walked away. He turned back again, to thank the man, but he was gone.

Arthur searched all over the castle, starting with her chambers. He didn't find her. Five hours of searching. Merlin was nowhere to be found. He kept getting the strange sense he should check his chambers, but seriously, why would she be there? He searched more. Something was still nagging him to check his room. He ignored it. He searched. That feeling. He searched. That feeling. Searching. That feeling.

_Just check your room, prat!_ Said a voice that vaguely sounded like Merlin, in his head. He sighed and complied. Merlin, however, was not there, just a short note on his table. Hoping it was from her, the king gingerly picked it up. But, reading it, his eyes widened in horror.

_Arthur Pendragon,_

_ If you wish to see your servant alive again, come to the dark side of the forest in two hour's time. I have restrained her magic, and have a sword pressed against her throat. Tell anyone of our rendezvous, and my hand might just slip._

_ -Morgana Pendragon, rightful King of Camelot _

"SORRY'S NOT GONNA CUT IT, MR. 'I'M KING AND I HIT MY SERVANTS!' _NO, _SORRY'S NO GONNA CUT IT!" screamed Merlin, punching the asshole again. Merlin thought he was different from when they met, but apparently not.

"Merlin-" he started feebly, making no attempt to steam the blood flowing out of his nose.

She glared and stalked off. _Stupid, jackass, clotpole of a king, _she thought, along with some worse insults (many of which involved a word that began with an 'f;' Merlin was really quite profound.) She sped down the corridor leading to her's and Gauis' shared chambers, hoping the age physician wasn't there. Slamming the door open, the servant discovered he wasn't, but some strange was.

"Oh, Hello," said Merlin, trying to regain her cool. She suppressed some tears that had been freely flowing. "Gauis isn't here right now, but I can take a message."

The man turned, facing her full on. He was quite handsome, raven hair like Merlin's, pale porcelain skin that really stuck out against his dark clothing, and piercing green eyes. He was maybe in his mid-twenties and had a very well-muscled body. Something was vaguely familiar about the way he smirked at her.

"Ah, you must be Merlin," he said in an even voice.

"Yes?" She raised an eyebrow. He came closer to her.

"_Sfeffin,_" he said as his eyes flashed gold. Merlin's foggy mind realized it was a sleeping spell just as he caught her nearly unconscious form.

**Duh, duh, duh! Can anyone guess who that man is? Hints: smirk, green eyes, dark clothes, rightful KING of Camelot. And thank you to WibblyWobblyGirl, Book-girl-fan, solace24, Don-V, Laura-Ella, and jwolf18791 for their amazing reviews! **


	13. Chapter 13

_Before: _

_Morgana Pendragon was having another nightmare. But when she opened her eyes, it was not over._

_"Who are you?" she whispered to the being in front of her._

_A woman's voice laughed. "I am Venus."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"My darling, I am here to help you!" chimed the voice. "Your sister, Morgause, sent me."_

_"Morgause is dead," Morgana said, sadly. _

_"Exactly. Now, my dear, Morgause told me you needed something. What is it?" The voice soon had a figure attached to it as well. A beautiful woman stood in front of Morgana._

_Instead of answering, Morgana simply asked a question. No gift came without a price. "Why would you do this?" _

_"Let me just say I owe your sister," said Venus. "Now, what do you want?"_

_Morgana thought for a moment. She wanted Camelot. She wanted her sister back. She wanted to destroy anyone who stood in her way. She wanted love. She wanted her old life back. She wanted friends._

_"I would like to have Emrys' power," she whispered. Even if her other wishes came true, Emrys could still be her downfall._

_"Ah," said Venus, "but there is a catch. No one can be as powerful as Emrys."_

_"Then can you decrease his power?"_

_Venus paused before replying. "Yes, but it would affect you as well."_

_"What would it do?" _

_"You would be changed into a man as well as your magic depleting," said Venus. At Morgana's puzzled look, she explained. "Magic is connected through the whole body, and for the most part, gender. If you change a person's gender, their magic will be confused. It won't work correctly. Emrys would still be powerful, but no more than the common sorcerer."_

_"And what of me? Why would my gender have to be changed?" Morgana asked._

_"You understand balance has to be kept," said Venus. "'To give a life, you must take a life.' It's very similar here. If there is one more woman and one less man on the earth, and the Fates had not intended it, the balance would be thrown off. And as you are requesting it, you must keep the balance even. Emrys will take your place as a woman and you will take his place as a man."_

_"And my magic? How will it be affected?" That was Morgana's main concern._

_"You will be able to speak very few spells before your magic is gone," said Venus. "But I will give you a spell that can make you have Emrys follow your every command."_

_"Again, may I ask, why would you?"_

_"You know Morgause is very persuasive. Well, she is even more so after death," said Venus, hoping the girl hadn't seen her shudder. _

_"It sounds too good to be true," Morgana commented. Venus nodded. She whispered the incantation to the girl._

_"Though, I warn you," said Venus, "The spell will make Emrys almost childlike in thought."_

_"All the easier to control," Morgana smirked. _

_"Are you ready?"_

_Morgana nodded. A spell in a language older than the Old Religion was spoken. Morgana had never faced so much power; it overwhelmed her. She submitted to the darkness. In her unconscious state, Venus revealed many things to Morgana. One being the identity of Emrys. Another was the prophecy that proclaimed the destiny of King Arthur._

_Venus did not reveal one thing, though. She was a deity of love, and her magic in some way had to involve it. The love goddess' words had not only changed Morgana, but had made the woman- turned-man fall in love with Emrys, him being the other person involved. Emrys would not fall in love with Morgana; the Fates had his soul mate already planned. _

_Morgana woke up as a man the next day, with one thing running through his mind: Find Merlin._

_But he waited, adjusting to life as a man. Morgana watched and waited, knowing he would never be able to get close to Merlin with Arthur around. He (she?) was about to take matters into his own hands, but then the king had hit his servant. She had stormed off. Morgana had smirked; now was the time._

**So Morgana's guy! Thank you to Book-fan-girl, Jellogirl323, Abysslullaby, and Don-V (who somehow nearly read my mind again...seriously, are you pyschic?) for reviewing and guessing right. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

"Merlin, wake up darling," someone hissed in the warlock's ear. "C'mon, love, I have a present for you."

_Who just called me 'love'? Arthur?_ Her heart fluttered at that notion, but then she remembered the night before and anger filled her.

"Love, I can see you are angry. Please don't be, your smile is far prettier," said a man. That voice…the man from the night before. Merlin struggled with her eyelids, forcing them to open.

The room was familiar, but was not associated with pleasant memories. It was Morgana's hovel. Green eyes, had magic, wore a smirk….shit, this guy was Morgana. Two questions were on Merlin's mind:

_How did she become a guy?_

And, _holy shit, why'd she (he?) call me 'love?'_

Merlin saw how close Morgana was to her face and tried to back away, but something was restraining her arms. Looking down, Merlin saw they were chains with words of the Old Religion on them.Magic restrains.

_And she knows I have magic, too. Great,_ thought Merlin bitterly.

"You're awake," male-Morgana smirked. "Now, love, you're going to help me take the throne of Camelot."

Merlin's eyes rolled. "Haven't you tried that? Remember the Fomorroh? It didn't work. Arthur's still alive."

"Ah," said Morgana, "That is where you come in."

Merlin rolled her eyes again. "You know I won't help you."

Morgana only smirked. "Here's your gift; _Berbay odarthay arisen yeldo_ _wyrm galeteag!_"

Arthur stood in the middle of the dark forest, waiting. A twig snapped and he turned. Just a rabbit. He sighed. This never would have happened if he hadn't….hit Merlin. Just thinking about it made bile rise in his throat. The image of her pained, then horrified face would be ingrained in his mind as long as he lived.

"Come, love," said a male voice approaching, with many girlish giggles in the back round, "It's never good to keep royalty waiting."

Arthur turned, but wished he hadn't.

"Arthur! How nice to see you!" said a smiling Merlin. Yet, it wasn't. This Merlin had on strange garments that showed off large parts of her breasts and legs. Her hair was braided and had pink flowers in it, and her face smudged with an assortment of make-up. The smile on her face was not her typical one. This was not Merlin.

"M-merlin," said Arthur hoarsely. She beamed at him, like he had done something that pleased her.

"Now, love, what were you going to do when you saw the king?" asked the man as if speaking to a very small child.

Merlin put on a thinking face, then her eyes lit up. "I was suppose to-"

"Darling, he's right here. I think you better just do it," the man drawled.

"Okay!" Merlin said brightly. "_Astrice ace wele kija mesva, Arthur Pendragon!_"

Arthur saw her eyes flash gold as he fell. One thought was on his mind:

_What the hell happened to Merlin?_

**Okay, this chapter probably wasn't the best, but whateves. And the spells are half of ones used in the show and half me just typing random letters in. I'm just gonna smile now. :D**


	15. Chapter 15

Arthur," someone hissed in the king's ear. "Wake up."

_Before: _

_"Why'd I have to make Arthur go to sleep?" Merlin asked. The spell Morgana had used earlier made the servant's mind go soft._

_"Because," said Morgana, heaving Arthur over her (his?) shoulder, "We need take over Camelot."_

_"That's not much of an explanation," Merlin grumbled, sounding closer to the real Merlin than this fake one._

_They hiked back to Morgana's hovel, stumbling in the dark. Arthur was placed in a corner, after Morgana chained his hands. The once-sorceress turned to Merlin. Lust was in his eyes. Merlin backed away._

_"Love, come here." Morgana reached out a hand. Merlin shook her head, eyes widening. _

_"Why do you call me that?" asked the servant, innocence dripping with every vowel. The love deity's spell had really affected her. _

_"Because I love you," and with that, Morgana grabbed the once-warlock, hands going to places that Merlin wasn't even comfortable touching. _

_"Morgana-" started Merlin. She kept glancing to where Arthur lay on the floor._

_"Do not speak. I am your master now. You will obey me," said Morgana, trying to touch Merlin, but the servant kept deflecting his advances._

_Merlin's mind was a muddled mess. That spell, _berbay odarthay arisen yeldo wyrm galeteag_, something clicked when she remembered it. More thoughts that were not her own clouded her subconscious._

"Morgana is your master."

"Listen to his words."

"You love Morgana."

"Arthur is the enemy."

"You love Morgana."

_ She fought against these voices, while at the same time refusing Morgana. More voices, stronger ones, screamed against the others:_

"Fight it Merlin."

"Morgana is not your master."

"You know who you truly love."

"You are Emrys, are you not? You have more power than this Love Goddess' curse."

_"Love, are you alright?" Morgana had asked. More voices came._

"You love Morgana."

"Fight it Merlin."

"Morgana is your master."

"Don't listen to those lies."

"Arthur is the enemy."

"You know who you truly love."

"You love Morgana."

"You have more power than this curse! Or are you not Emrys?"

_"I am Emrys!" Merlin screamed, eyes flashing gold. "Morgana Pendragon, you dare use the Curse of Venus against me! You dare to call me 'love'? You will learn!"_

_"Love-" started Morgana._

_"You dare to still utter that title at me!" Merlin was gone; this was Emrys. She uttered a spell. "_Galates bevto fora wryg halesse!_"_

_ "Words of the gods," whispered Morgana, eyes widening. "This-this switch was supposed to render with less power."_

_ "Did you really think a minor goddess' curse could stop me? I AM EMRYS!"_

_ Merlin was floating in midair, something only higher beings were fabled to do. Her eyes were pure gold, not just the irises. Morgana's hovel was overturned by a gust a wind, as if it was a card-castle. The weather was even obeying Emrys. The once-sorceress for the first time in years, felt genuine fear. _

_ "Last words, Morgana Pendragon?" drawled Merlin. There was no reply. "_Swil_-" Emrys started the death incantation. She stopped. Emrys. Emrys was Merlin. Merlin was not Emrys. Emrys had no mercy. Merlin showed it. She descended from her place in the air. The wind stopped. _

_ "Morgana," said Merlin, eyes changing back to blue, "I will give you one chance and one chance only: run now and you will be spared."_

_ "Love-" Morgana tried._

_ "I remember a time when love was most important to you. You would do anything for those you cared about. Now, your heart is full of hate and spite. You cannot love, Morgana Pendragon. That deity fooled you," said Merlin, not really sure how she knew about Venus. "Now, leave. And remember; I have spared your life, I expect the same in return."_

_ Morgana gave a fleeting look, before disappearing in a flash. He (she?) would be back. Merlin allowed a triumphant smile before collapsing._

Arthur struggled with his eyelids. Everything was blurry. Nausea swept over him. He hadn't felt this bad…in forever. He tried to focus his eyes. He was met by a familiar face.

"Gwaine?"


	16. Chapter 16

Gwaine watched Arthur drag Merlin away. He heard her say, "Where are you taking me?" and the king's grunted answer. He tried to follow, but Lancelot had grabbed his arm, claiming his cousin needed to meet "the charismatic Sir Gwaine."

"Lance," said Gwaine, stopping him. "I can't right now-"

"C'mon, Gwaine," slurred Lancelot, obviously tipsy. "It's my wedding. Dance with some girls. Have a drink."

"I can't now, Merlin is-" Gwaine was interrupted again.

"Sir Gwaine turning down a drink? What has this world come to?" asked Lancelot. "HEY EVERYONE, GWAINE TURNED DOWN A DRINK!"

That comment eared cheering, shocked looks, and a few boos. Gwaine sighed and glared at his fellow knight. It didn't matter if this was Lance's wedding; Merlin might be in trouble, according to her panicked sounding voice and Arthur's angered face. Gwaine broke Lancelot's grip and stormed off, with the other knight yelling after him. The night was brisk, but dark, as Gwaine noted. Out of the chaos of celebration, he realized he had no idea where to go. He started down on street.

"Go to her," he heard a voice say. He shrugged it off, thinking it was just a man giving relationship advice. He walked on to the castle, the most likely place. Merlin's and Gaius' chambers probably would be a safe bet, so he headed there.

"Love, you are now mine."

He froze, hearing this. He was about ten feet in front of the physician's chambers. Gwaine peeked in the door.

"You are pretty, my love," he heard a man in dark clothing say. "But these clothes do not flatter you enough. I will fix that shortly"

_What?_ thought Gwaine. He peered in again, to take in the scene correctly. A man (_that needs that smirk whacked off his face, _as the knight thought.) had a sleeping Merlin curled in his lap. She muttered something and giggled in her sleep, while the man had smiled down on her. The next thing he did made something in Gwaine's chest hurt.

"Love, my love," said the man, stroking her face. He pressed a kiss directly on her lips. It was a long one, too, one filled with many amounts of tongue.

_Merlin, _was Gwaine's only thought as his heart shattered. Merlin was seeing someone. And a good looking someone at that. Someone that she fell asleep with, even if he was awake. That dance, the kiss on the cheek- had it all been to deceive Gwaine? The knight thought they almost had something.

Of course, he knew, she had something with Arthur, but he hoped it was more of a brother-sister type of relationship. He could see it wasn't. But….she had fooled them both. Arthur and Gwaine were smitten with her and she probably knew it. She had led them on.

Gwaine couldn't take it. Turning, he barreled down the corridor, not caring if anyone was calling out to him. He went to his chambers and looked under his bed, pulled out some mead, and drank.

Gwaine should know it by now, never trust anyone. Especially woman. Especially woman that were once men that you once had a thing for. Never trust anyone; they will only hurt you. Mead was always there. He trusted the alcohol.

He wasn't sure how long he had been drinking. It felt like minutes, but seeing the sky lighten a bit made him unsure. Something didn't feel right. In the back of his mind, a thought was nagging him.

_Go to Arthur's chambers, _it whispered in his head. It sounded like Merlin.

"Can't you see I'm trying to forget you?" he slurred to the air, while taking a swig of mead.

_Go to Arthur's chambers._

"No."

_Go to Arthur's chambers._

"Merlin, get out of my head."

_Go to Arthur's chambers._

_ Go to Arthur's chambers._

_ Go to Arthur's chambers._

_ Go to Ar-_

"Alright, I going," said Gwaine standing and swaying. Drunkenly, he made his way to Princess' rooms. The king was not there. He looked around, with blurred vision, finding nothing unusual. The room started spinning. He sat at Arthur's table and rested his head on it. He did not feel wood, however, but instead felt the dryness of parchment. He lifted his head and the paper stuck to it. With a groan, he peeled it off and tried to read it.

Several minutes of drunkenly try to decipher the note, Gwaine was rushing through the halls, trying to reach the stables. Rightful King of Camelot, dark clothing, that familiar smirk. Morgana. Gwaine ran faster, almost falling because of his intoxication. Finally he reached them, only to find an old man brushing his horse.

"Can I help you, Sir Knight?" asked the elder.

"I need-" started Gwaine.

"You smell of alcohol. Woman trouble?" The man was pestering, but Gwaine had too much respect for the elderly to not answer him.

"You could say that."

"Is it that servant girl?" asked the man, now strapping a saddle on the horse.

Gwaine was shocked. "How'd you know?"

"I'm an old man, people tell me things," he stated. "But she wasn't always a she, correct?"

"Umm….." Gwaine didn't know if he should answer.

"Don't worry, I know," said the old man, eyes alight with wisdom. He was now tying on saddle bags. "And you seem smitten with this girl."

"I am," he sighed. "I was even when she was a man."

"Really, now?"

"Yes, but she loves another."

"But do you love her?" said the man, giving him a piecing look.

"Yes," Gwaine whispered.

"Does the one she love, love her?"

Gwaine knew the answer without thinking. "Without a doubt."

"Then set her free," said the old man. His eyes looked familiar.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever heard the phrase 'if you love something, set it free and it if comes back to you it's yours?'" The knight nodded. "Well, set her free. She may or may not come back to you."

"What if she doesn't?" asked Gwaine, feeling slightly inferior, but grateful for the advice.

"She will," said the old man, handing him his horse's reigns. "Your love for each other may be different from what you expect, though."

Gwaine accepted the reigns and mounted his steed. "What do mean?"

"You will see in time," smiled the old man. Gwaine looked away for a second and the old man was gone. Feeling unnerved, he rode to the dark side of the woods.

It was an hours ride. In that hour many things happened. Merlin fought against her curse, Arthur remained unconscious, and Gwaine set Merlin free. He thought about how the time he first saw him, how his heart fluttered. He let that go. He remembered being jealous of how close the servant was to Arthur. He let that go. He thought of every time Merlin's grin made his heart do a backflip. He let that go.

He still cared for Merlin, though not in the same way as before. He thought of Arthur stealing a kiss from the servant from the time she had been stabbed and did not feel jealous. Something was in that love's place. A new love. A different one.

Gwaine guessed Morgana's hovel was where they'd be. He tried to remember a path to it, but nothing surfaced. He went in circles for hours. Nothing. The wind suddenly picked up.

"Last words, Morgana Pendragon?" drawled a loud voice as the wind howled louder. Gwaine rode towards it. "Swil-" he heard someone start. The wind stopped. He rode faster.

Chaos was everywhere. Merlin looked to be landing from the air, while a man, that Gwaine guessed was Morgana, cowered on the ground. His eyes took in the scene. Morgana's hovel was in pieces everywhere. Shards of glasses littered the ground, along with various things used in potions. Something gold caught the knight's eye. He ran towards it and stooped down. It was Arthur's hair, which was attached to the king himself.

"Arthur," he hissed whilst Merlin was threatening Morgana, "Wake up."

Gwaine started to uncover the king of the decimated walls of the hut. He cursed as he discovered Arthur was in chains. He used his sword to break them, which surprisingly worked.

"Gwaine?" asked a weak voice. The knight looked down. Arthur was awake.

"Hey Princess," he said as cheerfully as the situation required.

"Where's Merlin?"

Gwaine looked up, only to glimpse a flash of bright light. He looked away until it was gone. He stood up, Arthur slowly following him. He looked around.

"Found her," Arthur said, picking up a pink limp form. Pink? Merlin hated pink, why would she wear so much of it?

As the knight walked over, he remembered something. _"You are pretty, my love. But these clothes do not flatter you enough. I will fix that shortly."_ Morgana's words rang through his ears. That little pervert thought _these _clothes had flattered her? She was half naked!

Arthur set her down by a tree and made some moves to set up a camp. Gwaine followed his lead, though not before wrapping his cloak around Merlin.

"So," started Arthur as they collected firewood, "How did you find us?"

"Read the note in your room," said Gwaine, "and followed Merlin's screaming."

Arthur's eyes widened. "Screaming?"

"Not like that. She was using magic. Nearly killed Morgana," Gwaine shrugged like it they were talking about the weather.

"Merlin?" asked Arthur, looking at Merlin in shock. She muttered something along the lines of "how long will it take?" and rolled over.

"She didn't, though. I don't think Merlin would have," said Gwaine, rolling his eyes. Typical Merlin, seeing value in every life.

Arthur's eyes traveled to Merlin's form. "Oh Merlin," he muttered.

By the time their talk ended, they had a roaring fire and had sat down. Arthur sat next to Merlin, nearly pulling the servant on his lap by the force of him wrapping his arms around her. Gwaine surprisingly didn't feel jealous; but he did feel like something of a third wheel.

"Arthur? Gwaine?" asked a bleary eyed Merlin. She sat up, despite Arthur's arms encircling her. "What happened? Where are we? _What I am wearing? Is this make-up on my face?_"

Yep, Merlin was awake.

**So? What'd you think? Revenge of the old man! I actually have no idea who he is... So anyway thank you to Book-girl-fan, Don-V, Luka-Knight, jwolf18791, dhh, and Lady-Blade-WarAngel for reviewing! :D **


	17. Chapter 17

"For the last time, Merlin, you're not coming!" Arthur and Merlin had been arguing for the past hour, delaying the hunting trip even further. Arthur did not want her coming along; Merlin argued that it would probably be safe if she was there.

"Arthur," said the servant, "I have magic. Everyone would be _safer_ if-"

"_No_. You. Are. Not. Coming." He emphasized each word. Giving her shoulders a squeeze, he started to turn away.

"Why not?" she questioned, glaring all the while. She still hadn't completely forgiven him for hitting her, even if she had broken his nose.

"Just because-because-" his eyes slid to the spot where she had been stabbed all those months ago.

She rolled her eyes, noticing his concern. "Arthur, really, I've had worse-"

He grabbed her shoulders, eyes widening, and looked her up and down, trying to find the supposed wounds. "Where? When?" he asked hoarsely.

"Arthur, it doesn't matter. C'mon, we got a hunting-"

"Merlin," he said softly, staring her in the eyes. "It matters. Now tell me."

"It would take too long," she sighed with a note of finality. "And they weren't recent either, so really it doesn't _matter_."

"So they happened when you were a man?"

"Yes-I mean no- I mean- _I'm still a man!_" shouted Merlin, indignantly. "I just look like a woman, have the bodily functions of a woman, sometimes act and think like a woman, and dressed like a woman at Gwen's and Lancelot's wedding- Oh, what the hell, I'm a woman." She resigned to the fact.

"It didn't matter if you were a man when they happened," Arthur said quietly. "You still could have told me."

"You're still going on about that?" asked Merlin, dryly. She was picking up some crossbows for the hunting trip.

"Of course! You were hurt and you didn't tell me! From now on, I want to know when you're hurt, okay?" Arthur's voice quavered as he looked in her eyes. It suddenly felt very hot in there.

"Since when do you care this much?" asked the warlock (or witch now?) sourly. Arthur's face turned to a mask of hurt.

"Always," he whispered.

Merlin's face showed surprise. "Even…..even when I was a man?" she whispered back. "You've been treating me different ever since…."

He grabbed her waist, surprising her further. "Especially then. I didn't know you had magic to help get out of the messes you somehow fall into, back then. Many times I thought you would've-would've….." he lost his train of thought, looking into those cerulean eyes.

"But why?" In answer to her question, Arthur pulled her close and pressed his lips against her's. Someone opened their month and tongues started to get involved. It wasn't the most romantic place, the armory, but sometimes, people can't control when these things happen. The need for oxygen became too great and both came back up, gasping for air. Arthur felt something bubble in his chest. He just kissed Merlin; something he'd wanted to do since the servant had begun to grow on him. He never realized his feelings before, except when he thought her dead.

He thought of going back for more, but realized he should probably check to see if she enjoyed it first. Her face was ecstatic. Before he knew anything else, she pulled him down for another kiss. There would be no hunting trip today.

_Several months later:_

An old man watched proudly as the young king of Camelot stepped out on his balcony. Crowds had gathered early, waiting for him. He overlooked them, which silenced the peasants. Something was off about his eyes, the old man noted. A new gleam was in them; one that he recognized.

"People of Camelot," greeted the monarch. "I have a great joy to inform you of a repealing of a law."

Murmuring broke out among the people. The old man smiled, knowing what was about to happen.

"Magic, as is of now, legal in this kingdom," he continued. Many gasped, others whooped, and a select few had their irises turned gold. "However, any man found using it against Camelot will be tried for treason. Dark magic will be prohibited."

Many just shrugged this off. Most only used their powers to heal the sick or to get work done. Then a new question arose. What had changed the king's heart?

"And I would like to hold a celebration in honor of the freedom of magic," stated the king. A woman joined his side, one the old man recognized. The gleam in Arthur's eyes got even brighter when he saw her. The light in his eyes was love.

"And also in honor of me finding a wife," he said, never taking his eyes off the woman in male-servant's clothes. Many people cheered. "My fiancé is not of royal blood, but was a servant. I hope you will accept her as your new queen."

If possible, the people of Camelot cheered louder. The king grabbed his love and kissed her passionately, uncaring the whole kingdom was watching. The old man smiled knowing something the others did not.

This would be a great time in Camelot. Magic was free, there would be a new queen, and celebrations started in an hour.

Only then did the old man start a shout. "LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"

Others joined in, and gradually most of the crowd. "LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"

Arthur pulled Merlin in for another kiss and the crowd roared in approval. "LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"

Oh yes, thought the old man, this will be a golden age for Camelot.

**Wait, it's not over yet! IMPORTANT NOTICE: if you are uncomfortable with BoyxBoy kissing (NOT slash, I don't write that) pretend this chapter is the end. *Spoiler alert* In the next chapters Merlin will turn back into and man, and by the previous sentence, you can probably tell what happens. So just warning all those who are uncomfortable with that stuff. So anyways, thank you so much to princeofthefallingangels, Luka-Knight, jessica-k-peck-9, Lady-Blade-WarAngel, Anj-Emm, JXeleven, and Don-V for reviewing! :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Part 2: Merlin's a Guy**

"You know," said Merlin, after they were back in Arthur's chambers, "I'm not even queen yet, but they still yelled 'long live the queen.'"

"You're queen to me," said Arthur, drawing her close. He kissed her forehead. "And it shows how much they respect you."

Merlin rolled her eyes. "Arthur, they don't know me; how could they respect me?"

"Do you have to make everything complicated?" asked the king.

"Yes!" said Merlin, sarcastically eager. "It's in my job description; didn't you know?"

Arthur sighed and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. He pulled away, but was pulled back for a not-so-chaste one. One thing led to another, and Arthur was pulling her towards the bed, hand trying to sneak up her shirt.

"Arthur," Merlin scolded, "We're not married yet. None of that!"

"Please," he moaned, giving her puppy dog eyes, "In four days we will be. Four days. Does it matter?"

"Yes, it most certainly does!" she snapped. "My mother raised me too- Oh, shit, my mother!"

"What?" asked Arthur, raising off the bed and hugging her from the back.

"First off my mother doesn't know about _this_,"-she indicated her body- "And she does know we're getting married!"

"You didn't tell-"

"Don't. Say. It," she hissed angry with herself. Her next words were more to herself. "It's a day and a half ride to Ealdor and a day and a half ride back. Plenty of time."

"I'll send a messenger as soon as possible," said Arthur, hand sneaking into his pocket. "But first I-"

"Sire!" came a voice from the door. It was a servant. Arthur glared at the boy, while Merlin gave him a friendly smile. He gulped. "Um- well, the counsel wishes to-"

"Tell the counsel that I'm busy," said Arthur rather harshly, making the boy go pale. Merlin whacked the back of his head as the servant walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"What was that for?"

"You didn't have to be such a prat," said Merlin.

"Sorry, its just- I've- well, alright. I've been trying to get the courage to give something to you, and I finally had it, but he interrupted-" started Arthur, going red and acting nervous.

Merlin kissed him to shut him up. "You're still a prat," she mumbled against his lips.

When they pulled away, Arthur pulled something out of his pocket. "Merlin, I wanted to give you this." He held up a ring, no more than a silver band. "I didn't have an engagement ring, and it might not look like much but…..it was my mother's," he said sadly.

Merlin stroked his hair. "I couldn't take it. It was your mother's."

"Please," he said slipping it on her left ring finger. "Take it."

She sighed and nodded. They both looked deeply into each other's eyes. Their faces drew closer. Lips met. As they deepened the kiss, Gwaine barged in, looked at them, and backed out slowly. They didn't notice.

_A few hours later:_

"Merlin?" asked Arthur, strolling into his chambers, hoping she'd be there. The counsel meeting he had just been in had bored him half to death and he needed Merlin's strange, yet funny sense of humor.

It was dark in his room, but he saw a form move. He drew his sword. "Going to impale me?" asked a familiar voice.

"Merlin?"

"Yep." Her face was covered by a black hood, attached to a cloak. Arthur sheathed his weapon. His hand tried to grab her's, but she pulled away. "Arthur, something's happened."

A million things ran through the king's mind. Most of them were scenarios in which Merlin did not love him anymore. He shook his head, hoping for some news other than that. "What?"

Her hand went up and grabbed his wrist. She pressed something in his palm. When he looked, his heart dropped. It was his mother's ring. "Why?" he whispered.

No answer.

"Merlin, why? Look at me!" he nearly yelled, seeing as her head was ducked. He pulled her head upward by the chin. He gasped.

Merlin's eyes were the same, as were the cheekbones. Her hair was short and those remarkable ears were showing proudly again. Her face looked changed, as was her body. Something was different. It took a moment for Arthur to realize.

Merlin was a man again.

Shock took hold of the king. He couldn't move. Merlin started talking. "So I guess you really wouldn't want a relationship with a man," he said with no emotion whatsoever. "And it would be pretty awkward if we still stayed friends; well at least for me, it would be. So I'm leaving Camelot."

Arthur's brain wasn't working. He couldn't process it.

"So I guess this is goodbye," sighed Merlin, pulling his hood down and he walking out. Arthur stood frozen in the moment. Time seemed to stop. He glanced at the ring in his hand.

"Merlin," he whispered. His eyes darted to the window, only to glimpse a black cloaked figure walk out of the gates of Camelot and disappear in thin air. Merlin used magic to get out of there.

"Merlin," he whispered again. Something clicked. Merlin was gone. An anguished cry escaped his lips. "MERLIN!"

He collapsed on the floor, feeling broken to a thousand pieces. Nothing seemed right. The world spinned, and Arthur felt something tighten in his heart as darkness took him. He had passed out from heartbreak.

Three days. Three days ago, Merlin left. Left Camelot. Left his friends. And left Arthur. Three days were filled with nothing but vomiting, tears, agony, and hell for the king. Merlin had not only left; but had taken the king's heart with him.

On the fourth day, something changed. Arthur was silent. He got up and packed his bag. He put on his armor. Got his sword. He headed out to the stables, every trace of a broken man gone.

"Oh, hey, Arthur," said Gwaine, attaching a bag to his horse. Arthur nodded in greeting. Gwaine continued. "So, any idea where Merlin is?"

Arthur's eyes widened and Gwaine laughed. "Really, we all know what happened. I knew you were going to go looking for him sooner or later."

Arthur nodded again and turned to his own horse, to attached the bag and saddle. Gwaine went over to help him. "Princess, I'm coming with you."

Arthur spoke for the first time, his voice hoarse. "I generalized that."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Gwaine. The two set off, then, riding out into the woods. Both agreed to check Merlin's home village first, seeing as his mother was there. It was dark by the time they stopped, horse exhausted and their asses sore from riding. After the horses where tended to and a fire was set up, Gwaine started to make a dinner (knowing how Arthur cooked, he did most of the work.)

"C'mon, you have to eat something," Gwaine pleaded with the king, after he turned down the stew. The knight took in Arthur's face. The king did not look like he had slept the past few days, and Gwaine could always tell when a man hadn't eaten.

Arthur shook his head, and in the end, Gwaine ended up leaving the bowl by him. The king took the first watch that night, but instead watched the whole night through. He did some thinking in the dark. Merlin was a man. He shouldn't still have feelings for him, even if he had found his manservant rather attractive when they first met. Merlin was his friend, he shouldn't have feelings for him. Merlin was a man, and Arthur needed to produce heirs. Merlin was a man, and the people of Camelot expected a queen. Merlin was a man.

After a night of those and many more thoughts along those lines, Arthur reached on conclusion: _Merlin was a man, and Arthur still loved him. _

**Merlin's a guy! *Gasp* what sorcery could have done this? I have no idea... Anyways, thank you to Don-V, jessica-k-peck-9, Anj-Emm, and CaptainJackWatson-Holmes for reviewing! :D**

**Oh, and one thing that has nothing to do with this story and you probably don't really care about: My friend who watches Merlin (and is somehow still on season 2) said I have ears like Merlin. I took it as a compliment, because, really, I do have big ears (and of course so does Merlin or Colin Morgan, the guy who plays him, but big ears are AWESOME!) So does anyone else have big ears like me and Merlin? Sorry for that randomness, I had to put it in here. :D**


	19. Chapter 19

Morgana was tired of it all. She had just lost the love of her life (even if it was through a love goddess' curse.) She was tired of being hated by those who were once close to her. She was tired of being the creature children were afraid of.

If she were to die, Venus' curse would wear off. She would be a woman again and Merlin a man. She knew of Arthur's feelings for the servant. She knew he needed heirs. She knew Merlin would leave out of shame. She planned her last revenge well.

Morgana was tired. The rope was hung, the stool in place, the tree in a secluded area. She thought of the pain of being a monster. A monster she had turned herself into. She just wanted it to end.

So she did.

"So I guess this is good bye," said Merlin. He turned from the dumbstruck Arthur, walking out of the room. Every step away hurt worse than being stabbed.

_You're a man, _thought Merlin, bitterly. He used magic to get him out of the castle quicker. He appeared in the lower town, surprising those still out. He was too lost in thought to notice some people throwing him odd looks. _Even if Arthur still loved you, he needs heirs. He'll get married to some noble woman and have tons of children. _

That thought made his stomach churn. He almost turned back, to ensure that Arthur did not end up with some noble woman. To make sure he would never love another. Almost. At the gates, Merlin muttered an incantation and disappeared, getting the strange sensation someone somewhere screamed his name.

He arrived in the forest, about five miles from Camelot. He set up camp for the night, planning for tomorrow. He would not go back to Ealdor; he needed to stay close to Camelot. He just couldn't forget his destiny, so, more or less, he would protect the kingdom from the background. Maybe go incognito as Dragoon the Great.

After his plans were set, with nothing to distract his mind, realization hit him. He still loved Arthur. Arthur would never love him back.

When Gwaine woke, he saw it was morning and Arthur was still up. He cursed under his breath. The king needed sleep.

"Morning Princess," said Gwaine, using the friendly insult to try and lighten the mood. Even if Arthur was king, he still acted like a princess.

"Morning," said the king, a huge grin breaking across his face. At Gwaine's shocked expression, he stated simply, "We're going to find Merlin today."

Gwaine just gave an agreeable response and went to prepare the horses. The odds of finding Merlin weren't very good, the knight decided. Merlin probably didn't want to be found, and him being an all-powerful warlock helped that fact considerably well.

The day was full of riding, Arthur talking, slight hunting for that night's dinner, Arthur talking, some searching on foot, and most of all Arthur talking. The king's rambling annoyed _Gwaine, _the most talkative man around (save for Merlin) and it wasn't that Arthur was talking too much, but more of what the topic of his monologue.

"And his hair, it's black as night I tell you! Some claim him to be a brunette, but honestly there's a difference between black and brown. And his eyes, they just pierce you right through…" Gwaine gritted his teeth. Arthur, for the larger part of the day, had been talking about Merlin. Not that Gwaine minded. No, he knew all these _wonderful_ facts about the servant. It just annoyed him that _he _had noticed them before Arthur, and Merlin still had ended up smitten with the king.

_"Ever heard the phrase 'if you love something, set it free and it if comes back to you it's yours?'" The knight nodded. "Well, set her free. She may or may not come back to you."_

_ "What if she doesn't?" asked Gwaine, feeling slightly inferior, but grateful for the advice._

_ "She will," said the old man, handing him his horse's reigns. "Your love for each other may be different from what you expect, though."_

Gwaine remembered the old stranger's advice. He had set Merlin free in his heart, but with the king bringing up the reasons why Gwaine had become smitten with the servant in the first place, it became really hard to not fall in love Merlin again.

"And his ears, slightly large, but in a cute way. I think they compliment his face," said the king, eyes misty with love. His smile was wide and his voice exuberant. Gwaine sighed; this would not be a pleasant journey.

Arthur's attitude changed as the sky got darker. He became more sullen and reserved. When they set up camp, it was Gwaine forcing conversation out of him. As the night before, the king refused dinner and offered to take first watch. Gwaine told him to sleep in a not so polite way.

Arthur rolled over, feinting sleep. He pulled something out of his pocket; his mother's ring that he had given to Merlin. "I'll find you," he whispered to the band of silver. "I'll show you I love you. I only hope you still love me."

Five days ago, Merlin had left Camelot. Now, he was bruised, bloody, and probably had some broken bones, all while being locked in a dungeon. He had magic restraints around his wrists. He had no idea of his captors or his whereabouts. One man had visited him so far, but he had only been there to torture the warlock with a knife.

The cell doors creaked open, and walked in the same man from before. He was tall, muscular, and had a glint in his eyes that Merlin didn't trust. "Well, _Emrys_, it seems we found you," he spat.

Merlin decided this man was either in league with Morgana, or was some kind of evil druid, due to the use of the warlock's other name. Noting his clothing, rich and expensive robes, the best bet was him being a follower of Morgana. And the dungeons, also added to that fact; druids lived in tents.

"So, _warlock_, where is your Once and Future King? I expected him to be here by now," the man said, trying to taunt him. Merlin rolled his eyes; it was one of those free lancers that just wanted Merlin so they could get to Arthur. How typical. Unfortunately, this one did his homework, hence forth the magic restraints.

"He's not coming," said Merlin, defiance in his voice. His heart dropped at his own words; Arthur could not love him, so he would not come. Hell, the king probably didn't even know.

"Oh, I see," said the man. Merlin was suddenly backhanded, then a boot met his side, cracking a rib. The man left in disgust, locking the door.

After the pain had subsided enough for him to think, Merlin whispered a spell. He could feel his magic trapped. The words did nothing. He was helpless.

As a draft of cold air came in, the warlock noticed something. His neck was cold. Looking down, he saw his trademark neckerchief was gone.

"Arthur, over here!" called Gwaine, bring the king out of his stupor. He had been trying to contemplate what he would do if Merlin didn't love him. None of his results ended well.

Arthur jogged over to join Gwaine, hoping for some sign of Merlin. His eyes widened at the red cloth in the knight's hand. "Merlin's neckerchief," he muttered.

Gwaine nodded and handed it to him, face grim. Arthur took it and gingerly examined the piece of clothing. It was stained. With blood. Lots of blood. Merlin's blood.

Arthur's face was impassive. "Look around, there may be a trail."

Gwaine nodded again, and set off. Arthur searched too, finding some well-placed horse tracks, probably a day old.

"It's probably a trap," said Gwaine, after Arthur had suggested they follow them.

"Oh, most definitely," Arthur agreed. "You can go back if you want. I'm going to find Merlin."

"Arthur," started Gwaine softly. "Maybe you should head back and I go ahead. You are king of Camelot and-"

"No," said the king, voice firm. "They have _my_ Merlin."

"But-"

"Gwaine," Arthur said, dangerously, "I'm going and you're not going to stop me."

The knight nodded. "I'm coming with you."

Arthur made no response as he mounted his horse and sped off. Gwaine followed in pursuit. They did not stop until reached the castle.

**Arthur looooooooooooves Merlin! Thank you to AmericanMerlinFemaleDragon, Luka-Knight, Don-V, Lady-Blade-WarAngel, and anj emm for reviewing!**


	20. Chapter 20

Merlin had felt pain before. He was feeling physical pain from the man's (who the warlock learned was named Lamir) torture sessions. He was feeling emotional pain from his knowledge of Arthur never being able to love him as a man. If he had to choose, the latter hurt the worst. Breaking his ribs felt like fire was set upon his chest; but his broken heart felt like hell itself.

Days passed. He wasn't sure how many, but he had different guards each time. Everyday Lamir would come up with a new way to make the warlock feel pain. The first time had been with a knife, the second with his fists. The third was the worst, and Merlin did not want to think about it. Today it seemed, was whips. The warlock was chained against the wall, magic restraints never leaving his skin, and his shirt ripped off.

The first stroke he had not expected so quickly. Pain seared across his back in one slash. The next hurt just as much, but then worse. He tried his best not to cry out; that would probably only encourage him. He lost track of his lashing around fifteen. After that, he just felt pain. It consumed him. By thirty, unconsciousness was taking him.

When Merlin didn't feel another whip stroke, he vaguely wondered if it was over. His mind was foggy with pain. In the background he heard struggling, but not to near. He could hear Lamir walk out of the cell. He could hear more struggling. He heard a shout from a familiar voice. The chains were taken off. Someone held him close. All he could focus on was that the wounds on his back were being aggravated, making the pain worse. As the darkness took him, he heard on thing whispered in his ear.

"_Merlin._"

Finding the castle was no problem. Getting in was. After throwing suggestions up and disliking them, they decided to just walk up and hope for the best.

"He you!" called the guard as the approached the door. He was a young man, no older than eighteen. He held no weapon. Arthur simply just knocked him out with the butt of his sword, before moving on. They walked in. No guards.

"I recognize this place," said Arthur. "It belonged to a noble that practiced magic. My father tore through it and left the lord's with no money."

Gwaine did not ask what happened to the lord.

Merlin was most likely going to be the dungeons. If this castle was anything like Camelot's (other than it being much smaller), they could find their way to the dungeons. They took the way as they would at home, and yes, found the prison. This place was crawling with a dozen or so guards. There was a strange whistling, then a crack, like a whip against skin in the background. Arthur would take six men and Gwaine would take the other six. They set to action.

None of the men were well trained, and most of them were no older than the boy they saw outside. In the end, there was unconscious adolescents everywhere. They moved down the rows of cells, until Gwaine cried out.

A man had Merlin chained to the wall. The warlock's back was bleeding. The man had a whip in his hands. Arthur charged. He grabbed the man by the throat, choking him for what he did. For hurting Merlin. _His_ Merlin.

Wide eyed, the man fought, but he was blue in the face and soon lay unconscious. Arthur kicked his limp form. He went over to Gwaine as the knight unchained Merlin. Arthur took the warlock in his arms and cradled him his lap as he they went to the floor. Merlin's eyes were opened just a crack, but they slid shut.

"_Merlin_," Arthur whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry." The king felt it was his fault.

With some coaxing, Arthur got up, carrying Merlin. Gwaine led the way out, shooting glances back at his two friends. Outside, they saw night was approaching fast. The two men argued briefly. Arthur wanted head straight back to Camelot, but Gwaine won by saying they wouldn't be able to see. They set up camp well away from the castle, with Arthur never putting Merlin down. Gwaine started a fire while Arthur got out medical supplies.

The king had no idea how to treat lash wounds, but he started by wiping the blood off with some rags. He next spread a poultice over the area, which made the warlock moaned in his sleep. Arthur tried to bandage Merlin back, but found he needed Gwaine to lift the warlock as he wound it around. After that, he noticed Merlin's other injuries. A wrist bent at the wrong angle. Blue spider-wedded bruises across his chest and stomach. Probably some broken ribs. Cuts all over his arms, legs, and face. Also, Arthur noticed a metal bracelet around Merlin's good wrist. The skin it was touching was red, irritated, and oozing blood. It had writing in the Old Religion on it. Arthur trying pulling it off but it stuck.

"Gwaine, do you know anything about magic restraints?" Arthur asked, half-heartedly.

"Ummmm…..Not really. Why?" The knight came over, then saw the bracelet. "Oh."

They tried everything, pulling it off, using water to lubricate it, wedging it off, but nothing worked (Gwaine suggested peeing on it, for lubrication, because it worked when he needed to get out of some chains one time, but Arthur disgustedly told him no.)

"Maybe it needs to be cut off," suggested the knight. Arthur nodded and took a knife. He stuck it between Merlin's skin and the metal, prying in between. Surprisingly, it worked and they were able to slip it off. As soon as it left the warlock's skin, his eyes flashed open, gold, and he sat up.

Arthur grabbed him back. They all felt a power wash as Merlin's magic was set free.

"Hurts," muttered the warlock against Arthur's chest. The king had put him in a position in which the whip wounds would not be disturbed.

"I know," Arthur whispered. He ran a hand through Merlin's hair. "I know. Once we get to Camelot, you'll be fine."

Gwaine decided to leave the two alone for a while. He could hear the king mutter things to the servant cradled against his chest. Merlin's eyes would occasionally open, glazed with pain, and Arthur would slowly tell him to sleep.

Gwaine kept first watch that night.


	21. Chapter 21

The ride back to Camelot was quite. Even Gwaine didn't have some riveting tale to share. In subdued silence, they reached the cities limits by the next night fall. No one was around in the lower town, or the upper for that matter. And the castle was eerily quiet as they entered. Merlin was up and walking again, but his mind was a little fuzzy. He had used most of his energy on a healing spell (for his broken wrist and ribs. He took a pain-killer that didn't really work for the whip wounds.) and now was slowly being guided to Gaius' chambers in a dazed stupor.

Arthur had a protective arm around the warlock and Gwaine, again, was leading. They took the short cut to the physician's chambers and found themselves in there. The silence was beginning to unnerve them, so without knocking, they headed in.

The unofficial Knights of the Round Table, Guinevere, and Gauis were all in there. All had grim faces and Gwen's eyes were red rimmed. Upon seeing who entered, most gasped and two jumped up.

"What happened?" demanded to king, arm around Merlin unconsciously tightening.

"We-we thought…" started Gwen. With a look from Arthur, she continued. "We thought Merlin was dead."

Gauis then got up to take his ward from the king, who looked like he wanted to hold the warlock for a little while longer. The physician led Merlin to his room, so he could examine his patient in peace.

"Why would you think that?" asked Gwaine.

"What else would've made Arthur act like he did before you left?" said Lancelot. "You were closest to Merlin, so we thought you two left to find closure or something."

"But we now see what happened," said Leon, nodding towards Merlin's room. "Merlin got turned back into a man and I guess…." He trailed off.

Arthur felt something bubble in his chest. His eyes slid towards Merlin's door. He did not want to be here, being questioned by his friends. He wanted to be in the other room with Merlin.

"So what happened to Merlin?" asked Elyan. Gwaine relayed the story of how they went searching for Merlin (and for some reason leaving out the part in which Arthur basically proclaimed his love for the servant) and how at the castle, the man, Lamir, was whipping everyone's favorite warlock. All agreed that it was way too cliché that the man had only gotten Merlin so he could get to Arthur. What surprised them was the lack of guards and planning on Lamir's part. If he was expecting the king of Camelot to come, why hire young boys, and so few of them at that, to guard the world's most powerful warlock? The stupidity of some people….

While Gwaine was relaying their tale, Arthur had been trying to sink into the background. He managed to almost get to Merlin's door, when he caught Lancelot's eye. The knight simply raised an eyebrow and Arthur gave him a grateful smile.

"I was wondering when you'd get in here, Sire," said the aged physician, taking in the warlock's back. Merlin was now asleep, no doubt drugged with a sleeping draught.

Arthur nodded and went to Merlin's side, grasping his hand in his own. Gauis didn't even look up. The physician would question what medical care the warlock had been given, and Arthur would readily reply. About an hour later, the physician had deemed the lash cuts uninfected, put some ointment on the spider-wedded bruises, and knowing the king wouldn't leave, he gave him a foul looking liquid with instructions to give it to Merlin when he woke. Arthur nodded and the physician left.

"Oh, Merlin," said the king, stroking the warlock's hair, "How do you get yourself in these situations?"

Merlin woke an hour later with glazed eyes and a confused look. He sat up in bed. With some coaxing, he downed the bottle Gauis had left with a disgusted face. It was yet another sleeping draught, and the warlock fell unceremoniously on the king. Arthur simply just pulled Merlin on to him fully and grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around them both. When sleep started to take the king as well, he was sure people were watching them, but he really couldn't care less.

"I knew they would make a good couple!" said Gwen, as she and the knights moved away from the door. They had witnessed the affectionate display the king had put on and had watched as he pulled the warlock onto his lap.

Leon raised an eyebrow. "But they're both men now. Is that even heard of?"

"I've heard of it," said Percival, usually not one for talking. "There was three couples of them in my village."

"Really?" asked Elyan wide eyed, never hearing of such a thing. Percival nodded.

"Will Arthur try and marry him?" asked Gwaine.

"Oh, I hope so!" said Gwen, eyes gleaming. "I'm planning their wedding right now."

"Really, Gwen?" asked her husband, kissing her forehead affectionately. "Why not give them time to test how they like each other?"

"Arthur already asked Merlin to marry him when he was a girl," Gwaine supplied. "Their wedding was supposed to be yesterday."

"Oh, right," said Gwen. "But I'm still planning it for them!"

"Planning what?" asked a voice. Everyone turned. It was Arthur.

Everyone kept silent, until Gwen couldn't help herself. "Your's and Merlin's wedding! I can't wait! You're perfect for each other!"

Arthur blushed. "Ummm…." He looked at his knights for approval of still loving Merlin. Lancelot raised an eyebrow and smirked, Gwaine gave him a look that said _we all know it_, Leon had a poker face, and Elyan and Percival looked at each other, then to the king.

Arthur put on his king/business voice, but nevertheless stuttered. "As you know, I am-am still in l-l-love with Merlin." His face was far too red. "And it is my intention to m-m-marry-"

He was surprised to find all of them smiling. He got a few pats on the back, and a hug from Gwen. When the maid pulled away, she whispered, "Hurt Merlin in any way, and I'll take a knife and remove all your fingers."

Gwen scared him sometimes.

After that mini-celebration, Arthur returned to Merlin's room, finding the warlock curled in a ball on his bed. Arthur slipped in next to him, wrapping his arms around the raven-haired one. He pulled something out of his pocket, which was hard to do, being squished against Merlin and the bed. It was his mother's ring. He loosened the warlock's hands and slipped it on his left-ring finger. He noticed something else in his pocket. He pulled it out, finding Merlin's neckerchief. Smiling at the cloth, he gently tied it around his once-servant's neck.

That night the king slept in Merlin's room. When he woke up, he realized it and gladly kissed the warlock's forehead. Merlin groggily woke up and smiled at him.

But then his smile vanished.

**While writing this chapter, I kept feeling like King Arthur and Merlin from the actual myth/legend were watching me. It was like Merlin yelling, "I am not Colin Morgan! Nothing in this fanfic you're writing ever happened!" and King Arthur was like, "Since when was magic outlawed in Camelot? And Bradley James looks nothing like me!" Wow, that sounded less crazy in my head... So anyways, thank you to Don-V, bubzchoc, Lady-Blade-WarAngel, and WRose for reviewing! You rock! :D**


	22. Chapter 22

Merlin really had no idea about what was happening. He woke up in someone's arms, and he ached all over. He did a quick healing spell on his broken wrist and his ribs, which drained him of any energy he had left. Someone forced something down his throat that tasted like one of Gauis' pain-killers. The world looked blurry. He vaguely felt himself being placed on a horse, and someone getting on behind him, hugging him to their chest. He felt cold.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he realized he was no longer on the horse, but walking with the same someone's arm wrapped around him and guiding him. He felt himself stop. The arm around him tightened. Voices were talking, but he couldn't tell who. The arm around him was lifted, and he was led into a darker room. He was laid on his stomach. Something was forced down his throat. He knew no more.

He woke again, this time with less pain. Nevertheless, he still felt every lash screaming. He sat up. He felt a hand on the back of his head and his mouth was forced open. A foul-taste filled his palate. He slumped over on someone. He was pulled closer to this person, on top of them. A blanket surrounded them. Sleep took him again.

This time, Merlin was going to wake unconfused; he could tell. He was more aware of things, like his neckerchief was back and there was a ring around his finger. Someone's arms encircled him. A kiss was placed on his forehead. His heart beat rapidly, hoping it was who he hoped it was. He forced his eyes open. His smile was brighter than the sun.

Arthur was there. In his room. In his bed. Holding him. Kissing his forehead. And Merlin was a man.

Merlin's heart stopped. It couldn't be real, Arthur couldn't love him….could he? Arthur needed heirs, something Merlin could not provide. Arthur was expected to marry a woman, something Merlin was no longer. The people of Camelot deserved a queen, something Merlin could never be. And who ever heard of two men together? His smile vanished.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur asked, stroking his hair. "Merlin?"

Merlin pushed Arthur away and got up, swaying slightly. Arthur tried to steady him, but the warlock stepped out of his reach. "Merlin?"

"I can't do this Arthur," said Merlin. _I can and want to do this Arthur. _

"W-what?" asked the king, hurt visible in his eyes. "W-why?"

"You're king; you'll need heirs," said the warlock with no emotion. _I don't care if you're king, I want to be with you. _

"Merlin, I don't care," said Arthur, hints of tears in his eyes.

"The council will expect a woman," stated Merlin. _I hope you don't care about this, too._

"M-merlin, I don't care!" said Arthur, tears leaking out. "I w-want to be with _you_!"

"Two men can't be together." _I'm sorry Arthur. _

"M-m-merlin, I don't care!" Tears were running freely now. Arthur's fear was coming true. "I-I-I love you!"

_I love you too. I'm sorry. _"I can't do this. Goodbye." He took off the ring and pressed it into Arthur's hand. The king looked at it, then back to Merlin.

"M-m-merlin, p-please, I-I love you. P-p-please," said Arthur, weakly. He looked so scared, so broken, that it hurt Merlin to do this. He walked out.

"MERLIN!" The warlock did not stop. He walked out, out of Gauis' chambers, out of the castle, out of Camelot. He did not stop. He had no place to go in mind. He just walked. As the day drew dark (wasn't it just morning? Merlin couldn't tell.), he sat by a hawthorn tree, and started a small fire. He felt empty, no pain, just numbness. He almost didn't see the man approaching him.

"Hello there," said an old man. Merlin jumped, but relaxed. The elderly were generally easy to beat in a fight.

"Oh, hello," said Merlin. The most this man probably wanted was to warm up by the fire.

"I recognize you," said the man, his eyes gleaming in a familiar way. "You're King Arthur's servant."

"Was," said Merlin, dully.

"But what happened?" asked the old man. "I saw you, a week ago in fact, him announcing that he was going to marry you."

"Well, as you can," said Merlin, gesturing to his body. "I am not a woman."

"Oh, yes, I can see that," said the stranger. "I knew you were always a man; you were just trapped in a woman's body. So tell me, what happened between you and the king?"

"I'm no longer in a woman's body," said Merlin, the numbness coming back.

"And? Do you not love him? Does he not love you?" the old one inquired.

"I love him," Merlin whispered. "And he loves me."

"Then what's stopping you?"

Merlin thought. "He needs heirs."

The old man laughed. "Easily solved; adopt."

"The council would expect a woman."

"Damn the council, then."

"The people deserve a queen."

"Your king could marry some air-headed skank that sleeps with other men behind his back. Tell me, do the people deserve a queen like that?" The old man gave him a piercing look.

"No," sighed Merlin.

"So, I ask again, what's stopping you?"

"Nothing."

"Then go to him."

Merlin stood up and nodded. He was going to thank him, but the old man was gone. With his heart a lot higher and his head a lot clearer, the warlock set off to find his king.

**Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, you finally realized that you and Arthur are meant to be. *sighs* Well thank you to Lady-Blade-WarAngel, the only person to review in the hour that separated this update and the last! :D**


	23. Chapter 23

"MERLIN!" someone screamed. Arthur had the vague sensation it was him. The world blurred, but he could still see his warlock walking out.

"No…no…no…no...no," he muttered. Somehow, he was on the floor. It did not matter. He couldn't think straight. Bile rose in his throat. He pushed it down. "No….no…no….why, Merlin?"

Arthur was done. Too many people he loved had betrayed him. Merlin, the one person he could count on, was the final straw. Getting up, making no attempt to hide his tears, he walked past a very confused looking Gauis, and stalked out. He wasn't sure where he was going. He found himself in an abandoned part of the castle, one that Merlin always went to when he needed to think. Arthur sat himself down by the usual window the warlock occupied. He thought for a while.

It was mid-afternoon by the time the king had made up his mind. He knew what he was going to do. Walking swiftly, ignoring when people, whether he knew them or not, called out to him. He first went to the stables, taking Merlin's usual horse, and then rode out without a second glance at the commoners staring. He had one place in his mind; the cliffs of Esstire.

Merlin never ran so fast in his life, smile almost etching into his face. Why didn't he see it before? He could be with Arthur. If the king would take him back… But his thoughts did not dwell on that "what if."

"Gauis!" he manged to wheeze out, having run all the way to Camelot, then to the physician's chambers (which made him feel light-headed).

"Merlin!" said the old man, standing up, "What happened this morning? Why was Arthur so- Merlin, are you alright?"

"Fine! Better than fine!" said the warlock, eyes gleaming as if he just had an epiphany. "Where's Arthur?"

"He left a few hours ago. Where are you going?"

Merlin did not answer, but walked straight out. He just had the feeling someone walked over his grave. Arthur…..Arthur had something to do with it. Ignoring the physician calling, he walked to his usual thinking spot, in the abandoned part off the castle.

He took his usual seat, by a huge window, but noticed something was there next to him. Picking it up, he saw a small silver band; Arthur's mother's ring, the one he had given to Merlin. The warlock felt something off. Without warning, his magic erupted, placing a scene in his head. Or more like thoughts.

Arthur. He could sense Arthur was part of this. _Why even bother anymore? _

That was not a thought Merlin had made.

_So many have betrayed me. So many have left. Now Merlin. MY Merlin. I can't see a way out._

It took Merlin a moment to figure out these were Arthur's thoughts. The ring had captured them, and his magic was receiving them. He thought that type of magic was only a fairytale.

_He probably is repulsed by me. Who's ever heard of two men together? I scared him away. Now he's gone. _

Merlin did not like where this was heading.

_ I can't live without him. Like when he was a she and got stabbed. I thought about it then…._

"Arthur, no," whispered Merlin.

_I have to. The cliffs of Esstire. Maybe then, if word gets out, he'll see how much I truly love him._

The thoughts stopped coming in. Merlin stood, shaking, for about five seconds. In a flash, he was out the door, out of the castle, and out of Camelot. He had used magic for the speedy exit, but he subconsciously did so. He did not know his magic was acting on its own accord, spurting out when it felt like it, rebelling against him.That is why he had to run, instead of transporting himself there.

_ Arthur, _he thought, _you better not be doing what I think you're doing!_

He ran, the whip wounds on his back either being reopened or screaming in pain. He ignored it. His magic was not working to his command. He did not care. One thing and one thing only was on his mind; Arthur.

On the verge of collapse, the warlock pushed through, putting one foot in front of the other. He tried to touch his magic, but on the inside, it kept shying away. Occasionally, it would burst out at a random moment, but the more exhausted he grew, the less the magic showed. Esstire was miles away; he'd never make it.

"Oh, Arthur," he mumbled, falling in a heap, "I'm sorry."

Unconscious was lurking. The darkness calling. He was going to give in to it. If only Arthur…Arthur. Arthur. An image of his face filled the warlock's mind. The king was smiling, blue eyes twinkling. It was gone as soon as it came, but the image left an impression. Running on pure adrenaline now, Merlin pushed himself up. He tapped into his magic, finally making it work. He had one thought in his mind.

_Find Arthur. _

He felt the world spin, trees blurring together, sounds mixing, colors becoming one. It stopped. He heard the crash of waves against rock as the smell of ocean filled his nose. He was at the cliffs of Esstire, a seventeen-hundred drop down, straight into sharp rocks and the dark sea. He opened his eyes and scanned the area, his heart dropping at what he saw.

Arthur was perched at the edge of the cliff, peering down. He didn't look afraid, just sober. Merlin ran towards him. The king turned, eyes closed, not seeing Merlin. He spread out his arms wide and leaned back.

"NO!" screamed Merlin, fingers mere inches from where the king once stood. Arthur had jumped. Arthur had jumped. Arthur had jumped! Merlin did the only logical thing next.

The warlock jumped after his king.

Air whistling past his ears, hair flying, Merlin somehow caught up with Arthur. The warlock ended up right on top of him. Merlin wrapped his arms around him as Arthur's eyes flashed open.

"Merlin?" he asked, screaming over the wind.

"Yeah," said Merlin, giving him that usual Merlin grin.

"What are you doing?!"

"Well," said the warlock rolling his eyes, "You jumped."

Arthur's heart stopped. "So you jumped after me?"

"Obviously." Merlin gave him a sad version of the Merlin smile.

"Why?" Arthur screamed, trying to outdo the wind.

"Because," said the warlock, looking him straight in the eye, "I love you."

Arthur's eyes widened. He was going to say something, by his warlock had captured his lips.

That is how they went, wrapped in each other's arm, lips pressed together in what was to be their final kiss.

**It's not over...yet. **

**Well thank you to Lady-Blade-WarAngel, Luka-Knight, pinkfire101, Don-V, K, and yanoe for their reviews! Seriously, thank you. **


	24. Chapter 24

Arthur forced his eyes open. The sky was over him and small sharp rocks beneath him. Something didn't make sense…..Why was he here? Maybe Merlin could tell him. Merlin. Merlin. Merlin! Where was he? He felt around him, the world now looking strange. He couldn't see straight. Someone was coming towards him; a certain raven-haired someone. His heart leap, thinking it was Merlin, but his vision cleared a little and he realized this person was a woman. Did that idiot get turned into a girl again?

Swaying as he got up, the person neared him. He recognized that face.

"Hello Arthur," said Morgana. Yet it was not. She didn't look like the corrupted Morgana, the one full of spite. This one was the old Morgana, the one who cared about everyone. Arthur rightfully thought it was a trap.

"Morgana," he growled.

"Where's Merlin?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" his voice was dangerous.

"No," she said, her eyes widening, "Arthur we have to find him."

"_We?_ Last I checked, you were bent on destroying Camelot," he said, hand going to his sword that was not there. _Dammit._

"Arthur do you love Merlin?" asked the sorceress, panic in every vowel. Arthur didn't answer, but glared at his sister. She sighed. "I know this is hard to believe, but I'm trying to help you. Merlin is in trouble. If you love him, you'll have to trust me."

Arthur thought for a moment. "Why should I?"

"Because I saved you from dying."

(((((((((((((((0))))))))))))))

Merlin's life flashed before his eyes, but it didn't matter. This was the perfect way to go. The water was growing nearer, so he deepened the kiss. Arthur had tears running down his face, the warlock could tell without opening his eyes. Against the king's lips, he muttered "don't cry," but there was too much tongue involved in this kiss so it came out as "hnnm hnn."

Death was going to take them. He prepared himself, happy his last minutes were spent with Arthur. They were about to hit water.

Suddenly it stopped.

There was dark, a lot of dark. It was cold too, like winter air. Arthur was still with him, but it seemed the king was unconscious. Merlin struggled to open his eyes. He wished he hadn't. Morgana was over top of him, glowering. His arms around his king tightened.

"Merlin," she said, with warmth, surprising the warlock. "Don't open your eyes again. We are passing through the spirit world. You've already had an encounter with the Dorocha, if you come close to them again, they will take you."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and nevertheless, asked a question. "What happened?"

"You spared my life when you could have taken it," said Morgana. "I am repaying the favor. And also, I think I owe you and Arthur."

"Why are we in the spirit world?"

"Well," he heard her say sadly, "I am dead. The only way to save you two was to bring you here."

Merlin's heart stopped, remembering the old Morgana. He forgot about all the evil she had done, and remembered only the good. He still didn't open his eyes. "H-how did you-"

"I did it to myself," she said with no emotion. "I was tired of being a monster."

"Oh, Morgana….." started the warlock, tears seeping out of his closed lids.

"It's alright," she sighed. "I am no longer a monster. I am now what you have always called the 'old Morgana.' I realized my mistakes in death."

Merlin was really unsure of what to say, but saving him from his predicament, but giving him a new one, a loud sound met his ears. "He has awaken," whispered Morgana, fear in her voice. Then she said more to herself, "The way to the other world is close, we should make it."

Merlin felt the darkness subside a little, but it still was not enough light. "We're here," said Morgana. "Arthur will go first, seeing as he's unconscious. If I hadn't put him to sleep, he would have opened his eyes in defiance of me."

Merlin smirked with his eyes closed. "Sounds like he would do that." The warlock let go of his king and heard an affirmative answer that he went through. Merlin then had a question on his mind. "Are you coming with us?"

He heard her voice say sadly, "I would but….only two may pass through. I am already dead, the spirits will not affect me that much."

"Morgana what do you mean?"

"Lord Pluto, ruler of the Underworld, has a son, Mortius. Every day he requires the shades to bring him the most powerful source magic in this realm. When you leave, that will be me."

Merlin thought. "Why can only two leave?"

"That is the greatest amount that ever made this far."

Merlin thought again. "Morgana, go through the veil. I have an idea."

Even though his eyes were closed, he could tell she was giving him a piercing look. "Merlin, this is no time to play the hero. Just go-"

She was cut off by a loud, booming voice that spoke in a language she did not understand. Merlin, on the other hand, understood it perfectly.

"_My slaves, your prince requires power._ _I sense Magic itself is by the veil._"

Merlin knew it meant him. He dared to open his eyes, only to find a transparent Morgana in front of him. He spotted the veil between this world and the next. The sorceress looked as though she was going to slap him for opening his eyes. "Merlin! You idiot! If a shade-"

She couldn't finish her thought as shades surrounded them from either side. They all grabbed the warlock, tearing at him from each side. Morgana tried to reach him, but they tossed her aside. The warlock went limp at their touch, as he had when the Dorocha went through him. The sorceress watched in horror as they dragged him away, into most likely Tartarus, the deepest part of the Underworld. Mortius had him.

Morgana refused to believe it. She remembered when Morgause had been teaching her about transportation. It was easy to do to one's self, but incredibly hard to do on a second party. Being naïve at the time, Morgana had tried it, and found a bottle of a potion was missing (this she did not tell her sister about). She was confident she had did it then. If she could do it then, she could do it now.

Taking a deep breath (which was unnecessary as shades do not breathe) she muttered a spell, over and over, every fiber of her being focused on this. Her eyes flashed gold.

She thought it had worked, until she saw Arthur, waking up on the beach of the Lake of Avalon.

(((((((((((((((((0)))))))))))))))

"Alright," said Arthur, eyes wide, heart aching for his warlock, "I'll do it."

"Good, we need to-" started the shade of Morgana.

"But let's get a few things straight," he said, eyes piercing her through (which wasn't very hard because when light passed through her, it looked like you were looking through clouded glass). "I do not trust you yet."

She nodded, waiting for more.

"Do anything to make me change my mind, you'll regret it."

Morgana could have snorted. What could he do to a shade?

"And when we find _my _Merlin"-he put the emphasis on 'my' and had a possessive tone- "You are not to touch him."

**Sorry this took so long! I had major writer's block (and alot of homework.) I actually was going to end the story in this chapter, with Merlin and Arthur being kings of Camelot, being in looove, happy ending, etc. But then I got two reviews about Merlin turning ****_back _****into a girl! Then the gears in my head started turning...**

**Total plot twist! This story will continue for a little (or a lot) longer. I've got some good (a.k.a. ones that will drive you crazy) ideas...*evil Morgana smirks* So how many people thought Merlin and Arthur were gonna die in the last chapter? Uh-huh, raise your hands, admit it! I actually thought they died for a moment...before I realized I was the author of this fanfic. Well, this author's note is getting pretty long...Thank you to Don-V, Lady Jane, Lady-Blade-WarAngel, hey hey, and Starlight for reviewing! :D **

**P.S. *Spoiler Alert* Merlin will go back to being a girl for a (probably long) while, then turn back into a man...then I'm not sure where to go from there.**


	25. Chapter 25

Merlin hated dark places. He hated the cold. He hated the way the shades touched him, hands piercing the warmth of his skin. It reminded him too much of the Dorocha.

He knew where the shades were taking him. Tartarus; deepest hole in the Underworld. In his late night readings (that happened when he couldn't sleep) he came across some interesting topics. Deep into the night, and even to dawn, he read about the supposed prince of the Underworld, Mortius. The warlock had read the deity lived were no light ever would _want _to shine.

The shades around him were strong, as he fell limp in their grasp. Morgana had been right; come close to them and they would take him. They were moving, but Merlin was not sure in what direction. The shades' touch muddled his head. He felt just like he had when the Dorocha went through him; weak, powerless, cold, and frightened.

He wasn't sure how long it was, but suddenly he felt them stop. The shades disappeared, withering away. He was alone. Silence. He couldn't see or he couldn't hear anything. It made no difference when he closed his eyes, but in fact it looked brighter behind his closed lids. He tried to move, but found he couldn't. Fear was slowly creeping in.

The world stopped for a moment. Then the floor below him vanished, like dust in the wind. He fell.

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Morgana had explained to Arthur the plan many times. He still did not get it.

"We need a blood sacrifice to open the veil," she explained, as if to a small child. "We need an animal."

"That much I gathered," Arthur pouted angrily. "Doesn't it have to be a _human _sacrifice? And take place on the Isle of the Blessed?"

The shade of Morgana sighed. If she wasn't already dead, his questions would be killing her. "Arthur," she started slow, "Remember when the Dorocha attacked? Merlin and Lancelot sealed the veil be using an _animal _sacrifice. Don't you remember how one of your horses when missing? A blood sacrifice, Arthur. Animals have blood."

The king rolled his eyes. "What about the Isle of the Blessed? Don't we need to be there?"

Morgana swore she was getting a headache (shades didn't get them). How many times did she have to explain this? "Arthur," she said through gritted teeth, "I pulled you and Merlin through the veil, and we're not on the Isle. We just need a sacrifice to open it and me using magic (and powers of the dead), it will work."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"You need to hunt something, but don't kill it. Just bring it back here."

"What should I bring? A deer, a rabbit, a fox, a-"

"Just go!"

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Merlin opened his eyes. He could not see. There was nothing everywhere. He summoned a light, but it did not appear, as when the Dorocha attacked. Sighing, he tried to stand up, but realized he couldn't tell if he already was. If this unknown scared him, it was nothing compared to what he felt next.

"Emrys," a voice hissed in his ear. He felt like he was drowning in the deepest lake, being thrown from the highest mountain, being plunged into complete darkness after just seeing the sun when he heard this voice. It was as if the darkness itself was speaking. "Magic itself. What brings you to my realm?" Merlin could not answer. "I see, too scared to scream. I have other ways."

Merlin felt a hand grab him. He was pulled down, even further, then it stopped. If it was possible, the world went darker. Hands gripped his face on either side. He heard words spoken. Then he was thrust into his mind.

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Mortius wanted power, in doing so he stole memories, the things that define us the most. He preferred those with magic's memory, as they are more enriched because their powers make them "see" more. He sought out shades with magic, the most powerful he could find. When they had brought him Emrys, he knew he should have more than his power. He should have Emrys.

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Merlin was forced to relive every moment of his life. Every happy moment, every tear shed, every shame felt, he watched again, not experiencing, but watching. Mortius was there too. He could sense the deity watching from the dark shadows. The warlock knew Mortius stole memories. Was this how?

Merlin watched his life. He watched himself grow up. He watched himself go to Camelot and meet Arthur. He watched as he slowly became his friend. He watched every adventure and every "prats" and "idiots" fly. He watched himself become a girl.

Merlin was pushed back out of his mind. He could feel Mortius' hands still on him. He quickly scanned his mind, finding that nothing out of the usual was missing from his memories. What had the deity done?

"Emrys," breathed the voice, "You are still alive. I cannot take you like this."

Merlin felt some relief; made he'd be let go. He wasn't reassured went the god's hands tightened around his face. He felt Mortius get closer to his face. "But I can make you _mine_. My property. Then I can take you."

"_Galefs dahts kijs ahenes!" _ "Turn this mortal."

Merlin tensed. He shook. He felt his body changing, things coming in, others disappearing. His magic screamed. He couldn't make a noise. The nightmare wouldn't end. Minutes past, hours flew, but in reality it was only seconds.

Merlin stilled. He stopped thrashing. His body was different, but it was not an unusual feeling. He was actually quite used to this body.

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_"Itheys geatds diugfs kilwa nameh sumama nehor thers!" _cried Morgana, eyes flashing gold. She struck the rabbit's heart, piercing straight through to the makeshift stone altar. With the words, something changed. The world was quiet for a moment, then it happened. Screams filled the air. She backed up.

"Arthur, grab my hand," she demanded. The king shook his head with disgust. "Arthur, we haven't much time before shades start spilling out. If you walk through alone, you'll be trapped in there while sealing the veil. You walk through with a shade, you seal the veil and still have a chance of getting out."

Without an answer Morgana grabbed her brother's hand (more like ripped at his wrist) and pulled him through.

**Sorry not that much happened in this one, I was pressed for time. Sooooo anyways I've noticed some people want this story to end with a female Merlin and some want a male Merlin. Well, I finally figured out how that could work! Shhhhhh...I'm not telling! It's gonna be a total plot twist! And also for those curious about the old man that keeps comig in...I still have no idea who he is either!**

**And, of course, thank you to Lady-Blade-WarAngel, Don-V, yanoe, gurrlife, Meegan, and Luka Knight for reviewing! Magical Unicorns to you! :D **


	26. Chapter 26

**Part 3 Merlin's a Girl. Again.**

"Don't talk to me," Merlin growled after they walked out of the veil. She stormed off.

"What's up with her?" Arthur asked, feeling dejected. Merlin hadn't exactly jumped into his arms and kissed him (as he wanted to happen) when they found her. She simply had said "Get away from me. Make one comment and I'll show you the wrath of Emrys."

"I don't know," said Morgana, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "She was just changed into a girl. _Again. _And only because the prince of death itself wanted to 'take' Emrys. The only way to 'take' a live person is to-"

"That son of a bitch _raped _my Merlin?!" Arthur cried.

Morgana snorted. "Yeah, yeah he did. We just found Merlin walking out of Tartarus, fully clothed, while she was screaming- hmm…what was it? Oh, I remember. 'Mortius, you sorry mistake for a deity, cross me again and I'll show you what Emrys can really do! And next time, I'll rip off your remaining limbs!' Yeah, death boy raped Merlin."

"Are you two done?" Merlin demanded. She held up a live rabbit. "We still got to seal the veil or those Dorocha bastards will come out."

Without an answer, Merlin tossed the rabbit at the rip between worlds and it disappeared (surprisingly making a popping noise.) Merlin stalked off, and started to make a form of a camp, not accepting help from either Pendragon.

"She was in the Underworld for _way_ to long," Morgana whispered to Arthur, so the pissed off warlock could not hear. "All that bad energy was forced into her."

"Will it wear off?" asked Arthur, eyeing Merlin concernedly. She was stirring up the fire with an aggressive force.

"In time. Could take a few days," Morgana replied.

They watched Merlin all night, as she acted like a madwoman on a rampage. When they decided it was time to sleep, Merlin offered to keep watch but Morgana told her she would do it (shades didn't sleep.) Merlin sat down in a huff and leaned against a tree. Arthur went over to her while Morgana decided it was a good time to walk around their encampment and not listen to their conversation.

"Merlin," Arthur whispered in her ear. Her eyes had been shut but they flashed open and she shot up.

"What?" she asked irritably.

"I love you," he said quietly, trying to break whatever effect the Underworld had on her.

"Oh," she said, almost shocked, "I guess I love you too."

Arthur sat down next to her. "So how'd you get yourself in this situation?" He gestured to her body.

"That bastard, Mortius, wanted to fuc- umm…well." She blushed. "And well, he wanted a woman…so, yeah," she concluded, sounding almost normal again.

"You didn't let him, did you?"

Merlin gasped. "What do you take me for? I wasn't about to let some sorry excuse for a god fuc- shag me when I have my own sexy beast." She hit him in the chest.

Arthur blushed and replied huskily. "Do you really think I'm sexy?"

"I was talking about Gwaine!" she said, maliciously. Arthur looked so crestfallen, that she got up and faced him. Looking deep into his eyes, she said, "Hmmm…you're pretty sexy too."

He perked up. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, her face getting closer to his. "Let's just see if you're up to my standard."

Lips met…

"Do you _have _to do that when I'm right here?"

"Then don't watch, Morgana."

"I can hear you groaning though! You aren't naked, are you?"

"Morgana, we're just kissing!"

"Fine! But keep the noise to a minimum!"

Arthur pulled Merlin onto him and they sat up. Looking at each other, they both laughed. "Are you alright now?" Arthur asked.

"Fine. That Underworld. It messes with your head," said Merlin, widening her eyes for effect. Her face then fell. "But I'm a girl. _Again_."

"That's okay," said Arthur, starting to stroke her hair. "You're a very beautiful girl, or woman, I should say."

"Yeah, _but,_" said an exasperated Merlin, "Being a girl is hard."

"How?"

"I have to pee sitting down," said Merlin, ignoring his snickering. "These breast things jiggle all over. PMS is a bitch. The long hair gets in my face."

"The last one we can fix," said Arthur. He started to braid it down her back.

"How'd you learn to braid?" asked Merlin when he was done.

"A king must know many things," said Arthur mysteriously.

"I used to force him play hair-dresser when we were little!" chimed Morgana's voice. Arthur groaned.

Merlin giggled. "Well I think you make a fabulous hair-dresser!"

Arthur rolled his eyes, then an evil grin appeared. Merlin gulped, eyes wide with terror.

"Arthur! Arthur, stop! You little- Ahhhh! Stop!"

Morgana literally materialized there (shades could do that.) The sight that greeted her was almost expected. "Will you two ever grow up?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"Nope!" they both called back, Merlin still in a headlock, freshly braided hair messed up by Arthur.

**Okay, so it's not very long... sorry about that, but my friends had me clubbing and drinking (read: watching anime and eating junk food) 'til 4 am yesterday, so that's my excuse. Yeah. **

**Thank you soooooooooo much to Luka Knight, LukaKnight (are you two the same person or just same username?), LukeKnight, Don-V, WibblyWobblyGirl, bubzchoc, Maka-Ano, yanoe, Lady Blade WarAngel, doubleeeosu, HEIDI, Guest, and Violet Stone for reviewing! :D You get a magical unicorn! (not really...)**


	27. Chapter 27

Morgana watched as Merlin and Arthur fell asleep and smiled. She always thought they'd make a good couple. Shades didn't need to sleep, so she was to keep watch all night.

"Arthur…." said Merlin and Morgana's eyes flashed over to the entwined pair. Merlin was still asleep, but they king had woken when he heard his warlock's voice.

"It's fine, Arthur. She's just sleeping," said Morgana with a raised eyebrow.

Arthur sighed. "I know. I worry about her sometimes."

"Why?"

"Why? Because she has scars all over her body and I don't know how she got them. She jumped off a cliff when I did. She always looks happy, but when I catch her alone, it looks like someone just broke her heart. She gets hurt way too often. She was born a he, and I _really _don't think she likes being a girl. The other men look at her like she's a trophy. She-" Arthur was cut off by his sister.

"Arthur," said Morgana, "Just let it be for now."

"But-"

"She'll be okay."

"Arthur….." Merlin mumbled and burrowed deeper into Arthur's arms. The king smiled.

"Get some sleep," Morgana commanded.

"What about you?"

"Shade," said the shade, waving her hand in a gesture to her whole body. "I don't sleep."

"Oh," was Arthur's reply. He looked reluctant.

"Arthur….Oh, I see," chuckled Morgana. "You don't trust me. Don't worry, that dark magic is gone now. I won't try to kill you."

The king nodded and complied, still looking unsure. Eventually sleep took him too.

"Arthur…" Merlin breathed out again. There was a huge smile on her face.

Being a seer, and being dead, Morgana was now clairvoyant. She knew what was to come in years ahead for these two. "Enjoy this while you can," she whispered sadly to the sleeping couple.

The next morning went fairly smooth. They packed up, loaded the horse Arthur had originally rode there, and started walking. Not even before noon, the aftermath of the Underworld was taking Merlin again.

"She's too silent," Arthur whispered to Morgana. "She's never silent."

"The effects of the Underworld must be coming back," responded the shade.

"Ugggggrrrrrrh!" Merlin sputtered as she tripped. "Dammit! Stupid fuc- fudging arrow, making me leap back and trip! Whoever- wait, arrow?"

Indeed, it was an arrow, as a large group of men was coming at them extremely fast, swords and battle axes flailing. Morgana vanished. Arthur, on instinct, rushed to Merlin.

_Dammit ,_thought the king. _No sword._

Nevertheless, he pushed his warlock behind him. A man stepped forward. "Looks like a noble took his sweetheart out on a date, huh boys?" he asked, earning a few chuckles for no reason. "Let's see-"

Suddenly, there was a loud noise and he fell down, and all of his men with him. Arthur could practically hear Merlin rolling her eyes. "Morons," she muttered.

"Merlin," asked Arthur, wheeling around. "Did you do that?"

"Yeah," she said, almost bored.

"How?!"

"I'm Emrys, baby!"

There was a long pause. "Sooooo," started the king, "How many times could've you done that when we were attacked?"

"Every time," she said in the same monotone voice. Her eyes were wandering around, as if she was being put through one of Gauis' long (very boring) lectures.

"What!? Why didn't you?"

"Magic was either illegal at the time or I thought you could use the fight. Keeps you fit," she said, this time with humor. She patted his abdomen.

"I'm not fat!" Arthur cried indignantly.

"Never said you were!" She quickly pecked his lips, which, of course, made him forget all about this conversation.

Morgana reappeared at that moment. "Sorry I took off, but, really, a shade would just in your way-"

"Whatever," said the warlock. The conversation died there, as they really didn't have anything to say. They walked in silence, the two live ones hand in hand and the shade walking behind like a third wheel. It was quite a beautiful day, and warm, but not too warm. The only problem was bugs that seemed to like _bugging_ people. The tiny flies found the humans fun to buzz at, while they found Morgana unpleasant to go straight through.

Rustling I the bushes made them stop. Arthur again pushed Merlin behind him, while the warlock rolled her eyes. Preparing for another attack, Arthur picked up a large stone. He threw it.

"Ow! Dammit, what was that for, Princess?" asked the man rising from the bushes. Gwaine. The knight seemed to stalk them (well, how else could he have been on almost all their adventures?)

"What _are_ you doing here, Gwaine?" asked Arthur.

"Long story," replied the knight, then eyeing Morgana. "Isn't she evil?"

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Gwaine should have known something was up. He called out to Arthur, who looked just plain _broken_. The king didn't respond. He watched him get a horse from the stables, and ride off. At the time, the knight shrugged it off, thinking Arthur wanted some alone time after that huge ordeal with Merlin. The king probably left to let the warlock rest.

"Hey, Gauis," he called, walking into the physician's chambers. "Is Merlin awake yet? I just saw Arthur riding off and- what?"

"Merlin walked out of here this morning, and Arthur followed him with tears running down his face. I think something happened between the two of them," said the aged physician.

"Oh shit," said Gwaine, as Gaius gave him the I'm-old-and-don't-curse-in-front-of-me raised eyebrow of death. "Thanks Gauis."

The knight walked out, hearing the physician mutter, "Young people never explain things these days."

Merlin must have run off again and Princess must have gone after him. Gwaine internally moaned. Just one adventure after another.

He rode after Arthur, painstakingly tracking him down. He arrived just in time to see his two friends jump off a cliff.

**I know, I know, WHY DIDN'T ANYTHING HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER? Because a) I am literally making this up as I go along and b) I have a test tomorrow. Buuuuuut, when they get back to Camelot, I have some...interesting plans for the characters. Let's just say it involves babies, crying, a strange soceress, a asshole Arthur, and a crying Merlin. Sure, that won't happen in the next chapter, but it will happen.**

**And thaaaaaaank you soooooo much to the awesome reviewers Laura Ella, bubzchoc, and Don-V! :D**


	28. Chapter 28

"….And that's how it happened," concluded Merlin. Gwaine just nodded/shrugged. He was like that, not questioning things too much.

"Okay," said Arthur, "Everything explained? Let's go home."

The four made their way back to Camelot, taking about a day. It was nightfall when they arrived, Arthur and Merlin in the front of their party, holding hands, and Gwaine and Morgana's shade subconsciously making sexy faces at each other while they argued (flirted.)

"No way," said Gwaine, "A dragon is way deadlier than a griffon."

Morgana snorted. "And how would you know, Sir Drinks-A-Lot?"

"I've fought wyverns and-"

"They're not dragons!"

"Well, you wouldn't know, would you Miss Sexy-Sorceress?"

The pair both blushed and silenced, looking away from each other.

"It's true love!" Merlin giggled to Arthur.

Camelot was alive with the night life, but the king, his warlock, Sir Drinks-A-Lot, and Miss Sexy-Sorceress made their way to the castle. Morgana earned a few odd looks, but Gwaine made sure no one could properly see her face (not many people liked her after she tried to take over Camelot multiple times.)

It was very late. Gwaine headed back to his chambers, and Morgana was sent to her old ones. Arthur had a plan to as where Merlin should spend the night.

"You know I-"

"Merlin," said Arthur, softly. "Not that. Just you. Me. My bed. Sleeping. That's it. Nothing else."

Merlin sighed, but soon gave him her Merlin grin. "Actually, about the other idea…"

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Queen Merlin Pendragon ran out of the physician's chambers, crying. Two months ago, her wedding had taken place. The week before, she had been crowned. Today, she had been told she was pregnant. Tears of joy.

"Arthur!" she called, skidding into him chambers, clutching her stomach.

"Merlin!" he said, rising and coming to her side. He noticed her tears. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm more than alright! More than fine!" she cried eagerly. "You'll never believe it!"

Arthur looked wife up and down. "What?"

She leaned forward and kissed him. "I'm pregnant!" she proclaimed as she pulled away.

Arthur's face was a mixture of shock, joy, and a whole mess of emotions. His hands slid to her stomach. He felt a slight bulge. His eyes flashed to hers. "Merlin," he whispered. "We're going to be…" He couldn't finish his thought.

"Yes!"

"We need to tell everyone."

By 'everyone,' Arthur meant the Knights of the Round Table, Gwen, Morgana, and Gauis (but he already knew.) Merlin wrote a letter to her mother (who had nearly fainted when she found out Merlin was a girl. "My son has been turned into a woman _twice_," she had said. "Had a king fall in love with her, had the magic ban lifted because of her, and is now getting married? No one thought to tell me?") They told the council, of course, to inform them of the incoming heir. Merlin and Arthur couldn't have been more ecstatic.

"And so," said Arthur, at a Knights of the Round Table meeting. It wasn't just the knights, but Merlin, Gwen, and Gauis, too, so basically everyone who had been there when they had found the Round Table. Morgana was there, too, because for some reason, the Table seemed complete with her there. Arthur continued, "Merlin's pregnant. Gwen's pregnant. "We're expecting Gwaine to propose to Morgana any day-"

"Hey!" they both cried. They weren't even dating and claimed not to like each other, but even the townsfolk heard of the "Miss Sexy-Sorceress and her charming Sir Drinks-A-Lot."

"C'mon, Gwaine. Man up and get on one knee," said Merlin, rising to Arthur's side. Everyone laughed as the shade and the knight blushed. Merlin and Gwaine had grown close in the past months, almost as brother and sister.

_. "Well, set her free. She may or may not come back to you."_

_ "What if she doesn't?" asked Gwaine, feeling slightly inferior, but grateful for the advice._

_ "She will," said the old man, handing him his horse's reigns. "Your love for each other may be different from what you expect, though."_

The knight finally realized what that old stranger meant.

"Or Morgana, you could," said Merlin, still joking. "Yeah, you could propose if Gwaine's not man-" she stopped.

"Merlin?" asked Arthur.

Her face was pale, her eyes wide. Her breathing became shallow. Her hands slid to her stomach. "Merlin?" Arthur asked again. No response. Her eyes flickered to his before she fell.

"Merlin!" Arthur had caught her. There was blood. So much blood. "Gauis!"

"Get her back to my chambers!" called the physician, already making his way there. It took ten minutes to get there. "Place her on the table."

Arthur complied. Merlin groaned in her unconscious state. Gauis then appeared with a small vial filled with a clear potion. "Open her mouth."

When the liquid was dumped in, Merlin opened her eyes and gasped. Her hands went to her stomach. Tears filled her eyes. "No," she said," No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

"Merlin!" said a shocked/concerned Arthur. "Calm down!"

"NO!" she screamed. "I lost it! I lost the baby!"

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"Will she be alright, Gauis?" Arthur asked the physician three weeks later. The king had confined his wife to their chambers, making sure she couldn't get out. He became _very _overprotective of her.

Gauis sighed. "Physically, she's fine. Mentally, she's depressed. Give her time."

"I don't get it," said Arthur. "How did she miscarry?"

"Well, sire," said the physician, going for a lecture, "For a man to be changed into a woman, a woman would have to be changed into a man. It's to keep the balance of nature straight. Merlin, however, this time, did not swap genders with someone. A god forced her body to change. When Merlin first traded genders with Morgana, he, or she, became a woman on the inside and the out. Because Mortius forced her like this, she is only a woman in appearance. On the inside she is a man and balance is kept."

"Oh," was Arthur's reply.

"Ergo, she cannot conceive," concluded the physician. "Don't tell her this. It might upset her."

"Of course not," said Arthur, thinking. He had a plan.

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Morgana, yet again, was having a vision. It finished and she opened her eyes, which were gold. "Oh Merlin," she whispered, near tears for her friend. "Your troubles have just begun."

**Okay, so asshole Arthur hasn't come in yet and there will be more of crying Merlin...and, yes, at least one more baby thing. I have an epic plan for the next few chapters.**

**Also, thank yoooooou sooooooo muuuuuuuuch to Luka Knight, Lady Blade WarAngel, ijusttaserdyou, bubzchoc, and Don V for reviewing! May the magic be with you! *waves hand like Obi Wan Kenobe***


	29. Chapter 29

Gwaine knocked on Morgana's door, shifting from foot to foot. He was nervous, very nervous. When she opened the door, his tongue refused to work for a moment and they just stood there, staring. He then found his voice. "Ummm..Morgana, would you like to-ummmm.., go on a walk with me?"

She smiled brightly and walked over the threshold, the door closing (by shade or normal magic). "Of course, Sir Drinks-A-Lot."

Gwaine couldn't help but smile, and turn red a little. Morgana and him had called each other by these titles (Morgana's, as you remember, is 'Miss Sexy-Sorceress') ever since the first incident. They did this because they were friends. Friends called each other names, right? Just look at Arthur and Merlin. Actually, no, don't, because they ended up in _love_, something that could never happen to Gwaine and Morgana. Because they were friends. That just happened to like each other. A lot.

Out on the training field, Morgana grabbed Gwaine's hand (because they were friends!), and that's how they walked. Later, Gwaine (also because they were buddies!) wrapped an arm around her waist, hand a bit lower than were a friend would put his. And of course, because all friends do this, Morgana rest her head on his shoulder, sighing with contentment. They sat down on a bench, taking in the setting sun.

"I just noticed something," said Gwaine, smiling fondly at Morgana on his shoulder. "You're solid."

It was the shade's turn to smile. "You've noticed," she said. "Shades can be solid when they want to be. They can also go thin as air in an instant."

"And how come I can see you? Can't only some specially gifted people do that?"

"If I want you to see me, you can," stated Morgana, nuzzling his neck (because they were friends, right?)

"So you want me to see you?" At that moment, something strange happened. Morgana and Gwaine looked deeply into each other's eyes. Their faces drew nearer. They were just friends, right? Well, this next action was certainly friendly.

Morgana's lips were an inch above his. "Of course I want you to see me," she whispered. Both closed their eyes, moving slowly in.

Before either knew what was happening, a loud voice called out, "Sir Gwaine! Lady Ana!" (Morgana's alias, because it would be _really _hard to explain to the people what had happened. Arthur told his subjects that 'Lady Ana' was a noble woman from another kingdom that was to remain in Camelot.)

"Sir Gwaine! Lady Ana!" called the servant boy that _just _prevented them from kissing; their lips had never met. Morgana pushed Gwaine off her, in shock, and ran away, already knowing what the boy was going to tell them.

"Sir Gwaine," said the boy, bowing. "King Arthur has requested your presence in his throne room."

Gwaine nodded and dismissed him. He stumbled to the throne room, the pain ailing his heart. Morgana was going to kiss him. They were stopped. She pushed away. What did it mean?

With these numbing thoughts, the knight almost didn't notice the woman standing dead center in the room, the one with an aura of pure _power_.

Almost.

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Arthur knew he had to do something. Merlin forced more and more smiles every day, but he knew she was feeling pain. He had been (and still was) distraught about losing this child, but the king knew it hit his warlock harder. She had carried it, felt its life force, and she felt it leave her body, rejecting her. Merlin blamed herself.

"Arthur," she had mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For losing the baby."

Arthur never wanted to hear her that broken again.

The king had made arrangements to meet with a sorceress. He knew Merlin had magic, but she would be reluctant to use it in a case like this. Besides, he needed someone with experience, someone who had dealt with things like this before. He sought her out.

Magus was very old, maybe older than Camelot itself, but she looked as young as a sixteen year old. She had come without hesitation, actually wanting to be there. Arthur had called the Knights of the Round Table, Gauis, Gwen, and Morgana in to meet her. He tried not to notice how Gwaine and Morgana would not look at each other.

Usually, Arthur would've explained, but after he sent for them, Magus requested this matter be kept secret. After introductions, Arthur sent them out, leaving him with the sorceress.

"I know why I am here, Arthur Pendragon," she said, holding up a hand when he opened his mouth. He snapped it shut. "You're wife wishes to conceive."

Arthur nodded, lips tight.

"Normally, to do this, I would have to take a life," she said, as Arthur rose in anger. He remembered how his father had done something similar just so he could be born. _I will NEVER do that to my Merlin, _he thought, eyes alight. The sorceress continued, almost bored. "Emrys is different. She is a he in a woman's body. She has the right parts, just not the right spirit."

"What?" asked Arthur.

"The right spirit," said Magus, "Mortius could not change his soul. It is a man's. Emrys has the right body for birthing but not the right soul."

"So Merlin won't be able to-" started Arthur, crushed.

"No," she said, voice echoing in the large room. "The soul is only _just _preventing it. If your wife is truly Emrys, then this should work."

"What should work?"

"Emrys is the most powerful being in this world," said Magus. "His, or her, magic is so strong, it can change anything. If I am correct, her magic should be able to connect the fetus." At the king's puzzled look, she continued. "The fetus was all ready, but Emrys' male soul prevented it from actually taking life. A quick jumpstart of magic would connect the fetus to life."

Arthur nodded. "What would I need to do?"

"First," she said, "You must follow my every instruction, no matter what. Make me a vow."

Arthur made a vow.

"Next, answer me this." She seemed reluctant to ask this question, and she was blushing. "When was the last time you and her-ummm….you know?" She raised her eyebrows and coughed.

Arthur turned very red. "Last night."

"Perfect," she nodded.

"Is that all?"

"For now." Arthur did not like her smile.

"And do you wish for payment?"

Her smile vanished and she blanched. She also seem a bit offended. "It is my destiny to do this! One does not simply get paid for following fate!"

Magus stormed off and Arthur sighed. The sun had been set for a while now, and it was getting late. Groaning, he pulled himself to his chambers.

Merlin was there, sleeping on the bed. He smiled as he brushed the hair away from her face and climbed in next to her. "I love you," he whispered.

She stirred slightly, but did not wake. Arthur had to smile again; typical Merlin. He closed his eyes just after he planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Love you too, prat."

**I'm baaaaaaaack! It's been like two days since I last updated! TWO DAYS! (damn research papers and standardized tests) It's been like FOOOOOOOREEEEVER! So, yeah, here's the chapter.**

**Since it's Friday, there'll probably be another update today.**

**Also, it is my pleasure to thank HEIDI, bubzchoc, Don V, eyesofemrys, Lady Blade WarAngel, and yanoe for amazing reviews! They get magical unicorns! (Okay, not really.)**


	30. Chapter 30

Magus required many strange things from Arthur. She instructed him to distance himself from Merlin, very slowly. To make it seem as if he didn't care about her.

Next, she commanded him to say some things he would never usually say to Merlin, even if he was angry at her, when the time came. He would know when to say them when she would kiss him on the ear. He did not like the sound of that.

It got even worse. Arthur knew something terrible was going to happen when the sorceress asked him to do something.

"Take off your shirt," she commanded. He complied. "Get in your bed."

He did as she said, thoughts only of Merlin. Her smile, her voice, her charm. He sorely missed her after Magus demanded he stay away from her for a while. But he always remembered why he was doing this. For Merlin.

"This might seem odd," said Magus. "But remember, it is to help your wife conceive. And keep in mind your vow."

Arthur nodded. Magus then removed her outer dress and striped down to her under clothes. The king _really _didn't like where this was going. She got in bed with him, and he froze. Suddenly, she smashed her face into his, not exactly kissing, but creating the illusion of it.

_Merlin_, thought Arthur, _Merlin, forgive me! _

(((((((((((0))))))))))))

"Yes, Merlin, you are," said Gauis. Merlin froze. Had she heard right?

By the physician's face, she knew he was not lying. "Gauis…." She started. The old man's face broke out into a grin.

"Merlin, I've looked into it," he said, proudly. "You know of your…er, internal condition and how the fetus must connect. I've found a way."

"To make the fetus connect? How?"

"Well," said Gauis, in his almost-lecture voice. "Your magic will help it connect, and all you need is something to jumpstart it. A strong emotion will do that."

"What type?" asked Merlin, almost letting her heart leap. This, her having a baby, might actually happen.

"Any will do," said the physician. "I'll research it some more. You should go see Arthur."

She brightened up. "Yes, of course! He'll be thrilled!" She turned to walk out, but turned. "Gauis, thank you. You'll make an excellent grandfather."

Merlin knew the old physician's heart swelled at that, by the look on his face. She then turned to go tell Arthur the joyful news. He had been distant in the few weeks, but news like this would surly bring them closer. Unable to help herself, Merlin ran the whole way there.

"Arthur!" she cried as she walked in, of course without knocking. Her mood was so good, that nothing could dampen it. Nothing, except the sight in front of her.

"Arthur," she whispered, eyes filling with tears. "How-how-"

"How could he?" asked the girl on top of her husband. Arthur was naked (as far as she could tell. His chest was bare as were his legs; his middle was covered by sheets.) as was the girl (who really was in nightclothes, but they were nearly see-through, so she basically was). Merlin had walked in just as the two had been passionately kissing.

"He needs an heir," said the girl cruelly, smirk on her face. "He needs someone who can give him what he deserves. He deserves a real woman."

"Arthur-" Merlin started, tears flowing. The king sat up, sheets still covering him. The girl pressed a kiss to his ear (in which she whispered, "Remember your vow!" but Merlin did not hear).

"Merlin," said Arthur, face clean of emotion. "I have found another."

Her face was pure heartbreak.

"I no longer love you, or have need of you," he continued, stoic. "I wish for you to leave Camelot."

"After-after, all we've been through?!" Merlin managed out.

Arthur stoic mask turned to a glare. "You lied to me in most of that time, not trusting me with your secret. Admit it, you've never loved me."

Merlin face turned to pure rage. Something clicked in her and she felt a warmth in her stomach. However, she paid no attention to it, but rather than to the king. "You dare-"

"I dare, because I am king," he said, voice deadly. "You forget what you are; a warlock. A monster; a freak!"

Merlin trembled in rage. "Arthur Pen-"

"Merlin Emrys, I banish you from Camelot."

Many things happened after that sentence. Part of what Morgana saw in her vision came true, Merlin's heart shattered to a million pieces, and most relevant of all, the warlock fled.

((((((((((((0)))))))))))))

Arthur watched Merlin run from the room, intending to go after her, to explain it had all been a setup; to make her feel a strong emotion. Magus held him back.

"Do not go after her, Arthur Pendragon," she said solemnly.

"Why not?" he asked sharply. He needed to explain.

"She is already gone."

"I must find her!"

"Arthur Pendragon," started Magus again, "She is gone; used a teleportation spell. She will not want to see you, anyways."

"I must find her!" Arthur yelled. "I need to explain!"

"She will not listen!" snapped Magus. "Her heart is broken beyond mend. She may not know it now, but she hates you. You destroyed her. Seeing you in bed with someone was not as painful of what you have said!"

"You made me say it!" roared Arthur.

"Emrys has always feared of banishment, being shunned by those she loves. She has always feared that her magic makes her a monster, not even worthy to live. Your voice said those things; she will not forgive you," said the sorceress with an even voice.

"You-you knew this would happen!" he accused.

She bowed her head. "I will not deny it. If it is any condolence, Emrys is now with child."

Arthur sucked in a breath. "I now _really _need to find her."

"No," said Magus. "You will not."

"Why?! She's my Merlin!"

"Emrys needs to see the horrors of the world."

Somewhere, Merlin appeared in a dark forest, in the middle of the night.

"To see the darkness."

Huge creatures came out from all around; this was no ordinary forest.

"To know true hate."

The creatures got closer and the warlock could see eight long hairy, legs on each of them.

"To see the light."

Out of nowhere, an orb of light appeared, scaring the giant arachnids.

"To find her rightful place in the world."

Merlin started to run.

"To know true heartbreak."

Something was pursuing her.

"To taste fear."

She ran faster, but the _thing _caught her. Merlin felt a sharp sting in her back, just above the scar of the Serket sting. She knew no more.

"And to survive death," concluded the sorceress.

"I do not care what you say," said Arthur, voice deadly. "I will find my Merlin."

Magus laughed. "Good luck. You're chasing after something that does not want to be found."


	31. Chapter 31

_Two Years Later _

A child ran through a lush green meadow, laughing as his mother and a boy he considered a brother chased him. Pumping his small legs, the toddler's eyes turned gold for a full second before he was soon in a different spot, one he had not run to.

"Got you now," said a dangerous voice. The boy turned, terror written on his face as a seventeen year old boy came out of the shadows. In one fluid movement, the teenager had the small boy hanging upside down by his ankle.

"Mordred! Put me down!" he squealed as a young woman came into the clearing. "Mommy, help!"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Mordred, really? And you're coming of age this year….."

"Emrys," he mockingly whined. "Amby was running away from us, I had to get him somehow!" He released the boy, who scurried behind the protection of his mother's legs. He stuck his tongue out at Mordred.

"Ambrose," said Merlin in a warning voice.

"Momma, he turned me upside down! Can't I stick my tongue at him?"

She sighed, smiled, and nodded. Mordred rolled his eyes. "_Emrys_," he said in a voice to mock Ambrose's, "He stuck his tongue out at me, can't I-"

"Really, Mordred?"

Mordred sighed and moved to her side, arm snaking around her shoulders in a brotherly fashion. Ambrose was now in his mother's arms, making faces at his surrogate brother.

"C;mon you two," said Merlin, "Time for lunch."

"Good, I'm starving!" chimed the two year old.

Mordred's eyes rolled. "How? You're always eating. It can't be good for you…."

"I'm _not _fat!" yelled the child. Merlin stopped.

"Emrys?" No answer. "Em? Merlin?" asked Mordred.

"Mordred," she breathed, eyes filling with an emotion Mordred had not seen on her in a while. "Can you take Amby inside? I need a minute."

The druid nodded, taking the boy in his arms. They went into a small house that was not too far away. Merlin was now alone.

Her son's words reminded her of _him_, the man she was trying to forget. How could she, though? Her son was the spitting image of Arthur, and he had many of his mannerisms. Every time she looked at her own child, she saw him. She hoped where ever he was, Arthur was happy with that skinny bitch of his, the one he cheated on her with. She hoped that, because, without that happening, she never would've had this wonderful life with her son and Mordred. She was happy with them.

Smiling at the thought of her little family, she headed in their house.

((((((((((((0))))))))))))

Two years. Six months. Twelve days.

That's how long he'd been without Merlin.

That's how long he'd been searching for her.

That's how long he'd been slowly dying without her.

And that's his long his life was a living hell.

He couldn't take it for much longer; it physically burned him, her face forever ingrained in his mind. The betrayal, the hurt, the sadness, the anger, the disappointment written plainly across her features.

Morgana was the only he talked to anymore, because even Gauis blamed him for forcing Merlin out. It didn't matter; Arthur blamed himself too.

"Arthur! How could you?!" Morgana had screamed at him.

"It was to help…" he started weakly.

"You didn't have to listen to that sorceress! You didn't have to stage cheat on Merlin! You didn't have to say those things!"

"I made I vow….."

"_You made a vow!?_ AVOW, ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" she screamed, eyes flashing gold as a window shattered and the shards of glass went straight through the shade. "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KEEP IT!"

"It was to help M-"

"ARTHUR, YOU DICKHEAD! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY THOSE THINGS! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT TO MERLIN! WHY DID YOU?!"

"Because…." He started. "Because, the sorceress-"

"DON'T SAY SHE TRICKED YOU! YOU WERE IN FULL CONTROL OF YOUR ACTIONS!" screamed Morgana. In a huff, too disgusted with her own brother, she left him there.

She was right and Arthur knew it. He hadn't needed to say those things, or even listen to Magus. That's why now, two years later, he was still searching for his warlock. The one who didn't want to be found.

"Merlin," he whispered to her wedding ring, the one she'd thrown on the ground outside his chambers before she teleported. It was the same one as his mother's. "Merlin, I'm sorry."

Arthur Pendragon, the man who said no man was worth your tears, cried for his Merlin.

(((((((((((((0))))))))))))

Gwaine was angry at Arthur. He was furious. And he felt pity for him.

Arthur was no longer the man he used to be. There was no kingly aura around him, or the glow of youth. He was still young looking, but the king's eyes suggested he aged a hundred years. There was always dark circles ringing his eyes, and he had stopped eating altogether for a few months. Arthur no longer sat in the sunlight. He no longer talked to anyone. He didn't even get a new manservant.

That is why Gwaine was here with him, right now, searching for Merlin. The knight secretly hoped they wouldn't find the warlock; Arthur didn't deserve her. The whole trip was consumed in silence, as Arthur refused to talk and Gwaine was too pissed at him to.

Ever since Merlin left, Gwaine and Morgana had grown cold with each other. There was no more hanging out, calls of "Sir Drinks-A-Lot and Miss Sexy-Sorceress," or even the polite smile. Merlin's disappearance had very little to do with this, though. Since Morgana had pushed Gwaine away just before they kissed, he refused to talk to her. Because Gwaine wouldn't talk to her, she wouldn't talk to him. And Arthur giving off the aura of self-loathing and hopeless love really didn't help their chances either.

The king held up his hand to stop the knight. There was a noise coming from a bush. Out of nowhere, a small thing, looking like a blur because of its speed, collided with Arthur's stomach and the king fell over.

"Sorry Mister!" squeaked the thing. Arthur sat up to find a very young boy had flown into him. "I thought you was- I mean were- my big brother."

For the first time in two years, something happened to the king. It took Gwaine a moment to realize he was smiling, however small and tense that smile may be.

"It's alright," said the king, speaking hoarsely for the first time in months. "Are you lost?"

The boy nodded, and something about him clicked. Gwaine started at the boy, then to Arthur. They were dead ringers (except the fact that the boy was two) for each other. Same blonde hair, same eyes, same body built, even the same features!

"Umm…yeah," admitted the boy, shyly. "I don't get lost a lot, but-" he sighed, "Can you help me?"

"Of course," said Arthur, smile still a little forced. "Where do you live?"

"In a house. On a hill, overlooking a meadow. I live there with my big brother and my mommy," said the boy. He then grinned in an oh-too-familiar way.

Gwaine was sure Arthur didn't see, because if he did, the king would be in a frenzy. Because anyone would recognize that grin from a mile off.

It was Merlin's grin.

"I'm Ambrose, by the way," said Merlin's son. "Call me Amby."

**Well, here's chapter 31. I know a lot of questions probably were not answered in this chapter, buuuuut they will be in the next ones.**

**And MORDRED! I had to throw him in here. I actually haven't seen season 5, but I know Mordred's in it (and a lot of other stuff, too, like Arthur...*sob, sob, sob* Mom! Stop glaring at me for crying over fictional characters!) Soooo, anyways, sorry if I don't get any Mordred facts right.**

**As for those who want Merlin to turn back into a man, I have a spiecal idea for that...*cackles evilly, thinking about it* There just needs to be some Merlin girl drama first. **

**And, also, I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHO THE OLD MAN COULD BE! Buuuuuuut, I'm not telling.**

**Wow, this author's note is getting pretty long...**

**Well, it is my pleasure to thank Corey YoungBlood, Lady Blade WarAngel, Luka Knight, bubzchoc, and Don V! Really, thank you people! So much!**


	32. Chapter 32

Ambrose was having an interesting day. He liked the man, Arthur, (even if he was a prat) and the other one, Gwaine, was nice enough. They were also willing to listen to his stories.

"And then Mordy came out of nowhere and he tossed me in the lake!" concluded the two year old.

"Now why would he do that?" asked Arthur. So far, the king had learned some….interesting facts about this boy and his family.

"'Cause he's jealous," said the boy, jokingly starting to strut, "of my gooooooood looks."

Arthur laughed, something he hadn't done in a while. Somehow, this boy had quickly wormed his way into his heart. "Are you sure of that?" asked Arthur. "Maybe he thought the lake made a suitable bath."

The boy narrowed his eyes. "Well, maybe. It's probably because he's a clotpole."

Gwaine and Arthur stopped. The boy did too, after seeing them halt. Arthur's eyes flitted down to the child. That hair, those eyes, that…._grin! Merlin's grin! _

"Why'd you stop?" asked Amby. "Did-"

He was cut off by a shout of, "_Ambrose Balinor! You are in so much trouble!_"

The boy gulped with a faint mutter of "mommy," but he didn't seem to want comfort from her. No, that mutter of "mommy" was in fear and was the name of the angry woman charging at him.

"Ambrose-" shrieked the woman, scooping him up in her arms "-Never do that-" she kissed his forehead "-again! Mordred and I-" another kiss "-worried! Where'd you run-" a muffled sob of relieve "-off…" she let that thought hang. "Gwaine? _Arthur?_" asked Merlin, last part through gritted teeth.

"Merlin," breathed the king as Gwaine face-palmed. Sure the knight was happy to see Merlin, but he knew this would end in tears. It just depended on whose tears they would be, though.

"Emrys! Have you found that little shit yet? He goes off running in the woods and- who are these-wait, never mind- Em, why're you-? Oh, right. Shit," said Mordred, entering the clearing and speaking his thoughts out loud. Of course the former druid recognized Arthur, but it seemed the king didn't recognize him. With one look at Merlin, Mordred took a protesting Ambrose ("I wanna stay with momma!") and walked out, blushing with awkwardness.

"Hi," said Merlin, looking like her plain old self; typical shirt, trousers, jacket, and the trademark neckerchief.

Arthur made a sound (something vaguely like "hgm" or a cry that never really went past his throat.) and walked towards her. He unsheathed his sword, her eyes widening and Gwaine stepping forward. What Arthur did next surprised everyone (including himself).

"Merlin Emrys," he said, handing her the sword and kneeling down in front of her, neck exposed. "Strike me down."

Merlin rolled her eyes. "I'm not gonna kill you."

"Please," he said, not looking up. "I've wronged-"

Merlin glared. "Do not give me the 'I've wronged you speech.' Seriously, I thought you were craftier than that."

Arthur gaped at her. "But-but-"

"I'm not like you, Arthur Pendragon,-" Arthur winced as she used his full name- "I don't kill out of spite. Get up, you clotpole." She handed him his sword. "Great to see you Gwaine!"

"You as well Merlin!" cried the knight jovially. Arthur looked like a fish because he was gaping so much.

"You propose to Morgana yet?"

Gwaine's face darkened, remembering that old joke. "No."

She shrugged. "C'mon, you two better stay the night with us. Acromantulas come out after dark," she shuddered, hand subconsciously rubbing a spot on her back. She set off, heading into the wood, expecting them to follow her.

"Acro-what?" asked Gwaine. Arthur shrugged, eyes downcast. The knight followed the warlock, leaving the king with his thoughts.

"So." Arthur jumped when he heard a drawling voice. "Do you remember me? That druid kid from a few years ago?"

Arthur's eyes widened and he nodded. "Mordred."

The boy glowered. "Yeah, it's me. I just want you to know that Merlin is happy without you." At Arthur's intake of breath, he continued. "When I found her, she was broken; she couldn't get over you. Finally, when Amby was born, she forgot you. We moved here to even get away from Camelot. I made her realize that you never appreciated her."

"I always appreciated-"

Mordred held up a hand to stop him. "Save your breath. She's over you. She's mine now." He smirked.

Arthur looked shocked. "What? You're how old? Fourteen?"

"Seventeen!" he snarled. "Almost of age!"

"She's about twenty-five now."

Mordred seemed to go very red with anger, but then regained his cool. "It doesn't matter. She's still mine."

Arthur rolled his eyes, pushing down the _what if he's right_ thoughts. "She could never end up with you."

"Really?" asked Mordred, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "You really think she'll take you back? After what you did?"

"I just need to explain-"

"She'll let you explain," growled the boy. "But she won't listen. While you cheated on her and banished her, I was here, helping to raise _your _son."

"I was searching for her!" Arthur yelled.

"Good load that did," the druid scoffed. "I'm done here. Better find your way before the Acromantulas get you."

With a flash of gold in his eyes, Mordred was gone.

(((((((((((((0)))))))))))))))

_I hate him, _thought the druid, sitting by a very small lake that only he knew about. _Emrys is mine now; he can't have her! And if he tries to take Amby away, that bastard's gonna die!_

Mordred had a reason for behaving like this. Growing up in a druid camp, in which he later had to flee as it was attacked, he never had someone to love him one-on-one. Merlin had been the first, and so far, the only, besides Amby. In his mind, they were his.

_*flashback*_

_ The woods were dark at night, and a little too silent. Mordred, yet again, was walking away from a druid camp. He didn't understand; come how no one wanted to mentor him, let alone, let him live with them? He tried various camps, but all the druids would do was give him a disgusted or pitiful look and either politely tell him to go away or they would violently chase him out. People have seemed to have gone mad._

_ A sound made him turn, him then realizing what woods he was in. He was about to get the hell out of there, when he distantly saw a figure running. A figure with too many legs that was heading towards a human outline. Reacting on instinct, he sent an orb of light over, something that usually scared creatures of the night. It worked for a moment, just enough time for the person to get away. He ran in their direction, thinking he could help them. _

_ "Nnnmmmfff," was the sound a girl made, as the Acromantula's venom-filled pinchers bit into her back. She looked vaguely familiar, but he didn't focus on that right now. Feeling his magic roll through him, Mordred created a bright light, one that could compete with the sun. The beast scurried off, but not before the druid caught sight of its many eyes (something that would appear in his nightmares for the next month or two.) Seeing that there was no more of them, he dropped down by the girl._

_ "Help," she muttered weakly, half-unconscious. _

_ "I'm here," he said. "I'll help you."_

_ "The-the spi-"she started, delirious._

_ "They're gone. Don't worry, I'll protect you."_

_ She nodded, small smile on her face, before the darkness really took her. Mordred placed her head in his lap._

_ "Don't worry, I'll protect you."_

_*End of Flashback*_

Mordred felt anger and possessiveness rush through him. "She's mine!" he snarled to the wind.

**Mordred's weird; just sayin'. Anybody catch the Harry Potter reference? HINT: What type of giant spider is Aragog? **

**And thank you sooo firetrucking much to Luka Knight, fallenangelicwolf, That Gryffindor Flame, HEIDI, yanoe, ijusttaserdyou, bubzchoc, and Corey YoungBlood for reviewing! ^-^**


	33. Chapter 33

"Mommy," asked Amby. "Do you know them?" He indicated Gwaine and Arthur, who were trailing behind, the latter only just catching up with them.

Merlin sighed, but smiled at her son. "I know them," she admitted. "They were…friends."

"I like them," smiled the little boy. "Especially Arthur. But he's a prat."

Merlin had to smile at that. "He sure is."

They walked in silence for a while, but then Ambrose's attention span wore out again. "Mommy," he said, "Are they gonna stay with us?"

"For tonight."

"Oh." His face fell. "I was hoping that one could be my daddy."

Merlin picked him up softly, tears that never fell gleaming in her eyes. She knew what it was like growing up without a father. Amby barely knew anything about his, and was constantly seeking someone who could fill that gap. Mordred he viewed more as a brother.

Merlin shot a glance back at Arthur, who no doubt knew who Amby was. She thought for a moment.

In that moment, she decided her son needed a father.

* * *

"Arthur, can you come with me for a moment?" asked Merlin, unknowing that he was just about to ask her that. He nodded as she led him outside.

The sun was setting, casting shadows everywhere. Merlin took Arthur by the hand and led him into the meadow. Amby had been just sent to bed, with Gwaine promising him a riveting bedtime story. Mordred was nowhere to be found, but apparently he made disappearances often. Merlin laid down on the soft flowers, indicating Arthur should do the same next to her. They turned their heads to look at each other.

"You probably know Amby is your son," Merlin sighed out. Arthur nodded, hand sneaking into her's. She didn't pull away. "Listen, Arthur, I know what happened and everything, but-"

"Merlin," he breathed out, and she stopped. His eyes looked pained. "Merlin, what happened-"

She shook her head. "Save it."

"No," he said, mustering courage. "Merlin, that woman was a sorceress. She said she could help you conceive and I believed her." He smiled sadly. "And it worked."

Merlin turned her head over, so he couldn't see her face. "That doesn't explain why you were in bed with her. Or why you banished me."

"The bed part was her," he said, eyes closed. "I think she wanted you to feel a strong emotion, so Amby could happen. She thought jealously and heartbreak would be the most potent."

"And why did you banish me? And say all those things?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Merlin," whispered Arthur. "She told me to say those things. I was going to go after you, but she stopped me. I realized later that none of it was necessary. And I should have gone after you."

Merlin did not answer, or even look at him. "Did you mean any of it?"

"Never."

She turned to him, a small smile on her face.

"Merlin, every day, I died without you. I know I what I did was inexcusable, but would you come back to Camelot?" he asked, heart thumping in anticipation.

"I will," she sighed. He went in to kiss her, but she stopped him. "I will, because you didn't mean it. And I'll go because Amby needs a father, but can we remain just friends for while?"

Arthur was crushed, but he nodded. He hoped the hurt wasn't written across his face. Merlin gave him the Merlin grin. "Hey," she said, "Cheer up. I just want to be friends for a while. A very short, brief, _while._"

He did cheer up a bit. "How long?"

She thought for a moment. "After this moment, I think we should take it a week at a time."

"What do you mean by 'after this moment'?"

Merlin's smile widened. Her hand went up to his face, fingers sliding his eyes shut. He felt her crawl over him, their chests pressed together. The sun was just setting. "I'm sorry," Arthur whispered to her.

"I know." And with that, Merlin pressed her lips against his.

* * *

"So what story do you want to hear?" Gwaine asked his virtual nephew. Amby thought for a moment, and was about to answer, when the front door banged open, revealing a setting sun in the one-room house. It was Mordred.

"Where's Merlin?" he asked, voice vicious. He glared around the room.

"She and Arthur-" started the knight, but he was cut off by a snarl from the boy.

"Dammit!" he said, Amby immediately covering his ears.

Gwaine glared at him. "Don't say that with Amby around, he's only two."

Mordred glared right back. "Well-"

"Can we start the story now?" squeaked Ambrose. Mordred stopped and sank into a chair. Gwaine nodded, glad that small argument was over. "I wanna hear a good story," said the two year old. "But can there be love in it? Mommy never tells love stories."

Gwaine smiled, having a story in mind. "Have you ever heard the one about The Prat and The Idiot?"

The little boy shook his head, and in the background, Mordred shifted in his seat, trying not to show he was listening. Gwaine smiled and began. "It all started when an Idiot walked into a kingdom, called Camelot. There the Idiot met the Prat. Both of them hated each other, and just to prove it, their first words to each other were insults. The Prat was a prince and the Idiot was from a small village, but somehow the Idiot saved the Prat's life. As a reward, the Idiot got to become the Prat's servant."

"Not much of a reward," muttered Amby. Gwaine pretended not to notice Mordred subconsciously nodding in agreement.

"I know," Gwaine continued. "But overtime, sometime changed between them. They ended up going on many adventures and saving each other's lives on a daily basis. Slowly, they became friends.

"They soon relied on each other more than anything else. The Idiot knew the Prat would always be there, and the Prat knew the same about the Idiot. And soon enough, they fell in love with each other. Everyone could see it, except themselves. They refused to believe it, admitting they were only friends. It was impressive, how they could ignore the looks they gave each other or how they bickered like an old married couple. They were so in love, but they were blind to it.

"One day, they Idiot got hurt and the Prat was nearly destroyed by it. Only then, the Prat knew he was in love. He never left his Idiot's side. The Idiot did get better, but was still blind to love. It just took a few more adventures and the Prat getting jealous to realize it."

"And they lived happily ever after," said Mordred, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, no, they didn't," said Gwaine, eyes widening. "They went on several more adventures, and eventually got married. But there was one problem: the Prat did something very stupid and it forced the Idiot away."

"What did he do?" asked Amby, gasping.

"The Prat was kissing another woman," said Gwaine as the little boy gasped again. Mordred shook his head in disgust. "The Prat didn't mean to. The woman he was kissing was a sorceress that wanted to split them up, so it wasn't really the Prat's fault. But the Idiot still ran away with a broken heart."

"What happened?" Gwaine wasn't surprised to hear Mordred ask this.

"The Prat searched for his Idiot, every day missing a piece of himself. He nearly lost himself too. He wouldn't talk to anyone, and he always looked sad. But he never stopped looking for the Idiot.

"One day, while he was searching, he found a small boy. The boy was lost, and he needed help. The Prat of course helped him. The boy led him into some woods, around the area where he lived. Out of nowhere, a familiar face grabbed the boy and started kissing him and yelling at him. It was the boy's mother, scolding him for running off. The boy's mother took one look at the Prat and recognized him. The boy's mother was the Idiot.

"The Idiot didn't forgive the Prat on sight, but later, they went out into a field, alone. They talked for a while, the Prat explaining everything and apologizing. The Idiot most likely forgave him."

"What do you mean 'most likely'?" asked Ambrose, eyes wide with interest.

"Well, no one's really sure how the story ends," said Gwaine mysteriously. He looked out the window, and saw with the last few lights of day Arthur and Merlin walking hand in hand, smiling fondly at one another. "But everyone knows it ended with them being in love."

* * *

**Hmmmmm...I wonder who the Prat and the Idiot are. I bet Mordred does too!**

**Mordred: Yeah, I kinda think it's-**

**Me: Nooo, don't tell them! They're smart enough to figure it out by themselves.**

**Mordred: Whatever.**

**Merlin: So are characters now allowed to talk in the author's note?**

**Me: No! Get out!**

**Arthur: Don't talk to my idiot like that!**

**Merlin: Thanks Arthur... Glad to know I'm "your idiot."**

**Amby: Hiiiiiii readers! **

**Me: Awwwwwwww!**

**Gwaine: You let Amby talk but not us?**

**Me: He's cute.**

**Gwaine: *eye-roll* Don't you have a school tomorrow?**

**Me: Oh, yeah! Better finish this author's note!**

**Amby: We, of this fanfiction, would like to thank Lady Blade WarAngel, Original Hybrid, That Gryffindor Flame, Samerys707, and bubzchoc for reviewing! Yaaaay!**

**Me: Well, Amby just stole my line. Until the next chapter...**


	34. Chapter 34

"Mordred? Will you?" Merlin asked for the umpteenth time. The druid still wouldn't answer. "Please, come with us."

"Why?" he asked bitterly, a sour laugh escaping his throat. "Why would you want me there when you have Arthur?"

"What? Mordred, what does Arthur have to do with this?"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. His face was turned from her, so she could not see the tear rolling down his face.

"Mordy," she said softly, using the special nickname that either meant endearment or a taunt. "What's wrong?" Her hand touched his shoulder, but he stood up, still not facing her, and pulled away.

"Nothing," he said, low and harsh. "Nothing's wrong."

"Mor-"

"Emrys, leave me alone and go back to Camelot! Just leave me! Just like the rest of them!" he yelled, probably not aware he was doing so. He stormed off, but not before Merlin heard a strangled cry.

Merlin sat back down again, by the small lake. It was her's and Mordred's special place, one they hadn't been to since Amby was born. She had hoped the setting would help lighten his mood, which had been angsty and gloomy for the past few days.

_Why would you want me went you have Arthur? _

His words rang in her ears. He sounded jealous, but not like a lover would. He sounded more like a child upset over his single parent getting married again. Mordred was jealous.

"Oh, Mordy," she muttered, standing up with a small smile. "I still love you."

* * *

Mordred couldn't take it. Emrys was HIS, not Arthur's. He'd been there for her, Arthur hadn't. He'd raised Amby, Arthur hadn't. He'd helped Merlin through the worst part of her heartbreak, while Arthur was the one who caused it. He made a vow to himself to protect Merlin, while Arthur always put her in danger. Merlin was the first person to love him, and Arthur couldn't take that away.

The king didn't deserve Merlin, and the druid was at first relieved they would remain "just friends." Mordred didn't know "just friends" threw each other looks of love or that they occasionally would hold each other's hands. And he hated it.

Everyone left him, either by dying or just abandoning him. He never knew his parents and the druids that raised him really weren't loving. He was kicked out of various places, and no one would take him in. He was nearing rock bottom when he found her. Mordred had cared for Merlin, and when she was better, she did the same for him. At first, he wouldn't allow himself to become attached, but the prying and the kind nature of Merlin made his walls fall down. It took him a while before he realized that he loved her.

He wasn't sure what type of love it was, but it wasn't romantic. Whatever it was, it wasn't the usual type either. It was possessive and protective, but also caring and concerned. It confused him.

"Watch out," he heard a voice say, "I hear there's Acromantulas in these woods."

He turned and saw an old man. He felt as though someone stepped on his grave as he looked into his eyes. Something was off about them. "They come out at night," Mordred replied, rolling his eyes.

"Really?" asked the old man. "How do you explain that?" He pointed.

Mordred turned, magic flaring up in case of an attack. There was nothing there. "Fooled you," said the old man with a smile.

Mordred felt annoyed. "Shouldn't you be bothering some else?"

He shrugged. "No one left to annoy."

The druid felt his heart move a little. "How come?"

"The only people I cared about I pushed away because I couldn't accept that other people loved them. I thought they would forget about me. I never made any friends, for fear they would do the same. After a while, the spite eats at you, and _bam _you hate everyone," said the stranger with a smile.

"Why would you-" asked Mordred, feeling something stir in his chest.

"Push them away? Think they would forget me? Never make any friends? Well, Mordred-" he ignored the boy's shocked, suspicious, and astonished look "-let me ask you. Why do you think those things?"

"Because they're true," Mordred admitted sadly.

The old man shook his head. "They're only as true as you wish them to be."

"But-"

"No," continued the stranger. "This person you love, Emrys, does she love you?"

Mordred shook his head.

"_Does she love you_?"

"She loves another, even if it wasn't in the same way we loved each other," said a glaring Mordred.

"How did you love each other?"

"We-" he struggled for words "-we-we cared for each other. Every night we would say goodnight in a certain way. Every morning, she would stroke my hair and wake me up. When we were alone, she would hold my hand and we just sat there in silence. We never kissed, except to show that we were happy or something, and it didn't have a romantic feel…..just affection."

The man nodded. "Nothing can replace that love. Yes, affection is a form of love."

"But she's in love with-"

"I know, I know, but a person can love more than one person at a time. She still loves you," he said, a note of finality in his voice.

Mordred tried again. "But others have-"

"Left you? Well, she won't. She does love you. Why else would she ask you to go with her?"

Mordred thought for a moment. "You're right."

"'Course I am. Now go and find her, before she leaves without you," said the old stranger, eyes twinkling.

Mordred knew he had to do something before he turned away. "Thank you. Can I ask for your name?"

The old man looked surprised. "I am known by many names, but you will know me by…..Portentum. Not really much of a name, though."

Mordred repeated it to himself. He liked the way it rolled off the tongue, but it made a chill run through his body. "Thank you, then, Portentum. I hope we met again."

"No," said Portentum. "Really, it would be better if you didn't see me again, but you will. For now, good bye, and don't forget, it will do you good to make new friends." Mordred blinked and he was gone. Feeling unnerved, he ran back to the little house, knowing he would find Merlin there.

* * *

"Emrys!" panted Mordred as he ran in. She was the only one in, as Gwaine, Arthur, and Amby decided to have "man time." Mordred immediately walked over to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. He pulled away but still kept her close.

"Mordy," she said, eyes and voice soft. "I know why you've acting this way. I will always love you, no matter what."

"I realize that now," he said, tears peaking out. "I love you too, Emrys. I will come to Camelot with you."

"Great!" she said, then continued with the same soft voice as earlier. "Mordy, I just want you to know, no one can ever replace you, and I won't leave like the others. We're a family, right?"

"Right," he confirmed. She kissed his forehead, before they both sunk by the small fireplace. "Emrys, I hope you will forgive Arthur one day. He's a good man, even if he said those things."

"I know," she sighed. "I've almost forgiven him. I'll just torture him by keeping him waiting. I can tell being 'just friends' is killing him," she laughed.

"You do that," smiled Mordred. This would be interesting.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter is soooo... but I had no idea what to do, so ideas came and fingers typed. **

**BTW Portentum means "monster" in Latin. I have plans for that old man.**

**Arthur: How come I wasn't in this chapter?**

**Me: We are not starting this again! **

**Gwaine: I wasn't either.**

**Mordred: It was mostly about me.**

**Me: No, I am not talking to fictional characters again!**

**Merlin: You like talking to us though.**

**Me: uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhh hh. I'm leaving.**

**Merlin: Since the Author's gone we would like to thank...**

**Gwaine: Luka Knight.**

**Arthur: ilovebeingme17.**

**Mordred: TsukihanaYUE.**

**Amby: ijusttaserdyou.**

**Merlin: That Gryffindor Flame.**

**Gwaine: Lady Blade WarAngel.**

**Arthur: bubzchoc.**

**Mordred: And Corey YoungBlood.**

**Merlin: All of them, for reviewing the last chapter.**

**Amby: YAAAAAAAAAAY!**


	35. Chapter 35

The walk back to Camelot would have been nice, as the sun was out, it was a beautiful day, no bandits attacked them, and they didn't walk into any giant Acromantula webs (a mistake Mordred made twice), but there was one problem. Amby wouldn't shut up.

"Ambrose Balinor! Just. Shut. Up," Merlin said through gritted teeth.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "You tell your two-year old to shut up?"

Merlin turned to him. "What? He turned out right. Just ask Mordred."

Currently, the said druid wasn't paying attention and had his hands over his ears, as he gave Amby a piggyback ride. Having the little boy on his back gave Mordred a front row seat to his ramblings.

"…And then BOOM! An explosion! All the squirrels ran away, and some bird thing flew at me and-" Amby was cut off.

"Amby, will you shut up?!" Mordred yelled. The little boy whacked him in the back of his head and slid off his back. He walked over to Arthur, and put his arms up. The king took this as a sign to pick him up.

"Mordy's a clotpole and Mommy can be a clotpole too, sometimes and they keep telling me to shut up. Aren't they mean?" Amby said to Arthur, on his shoulders. "This one time, Mommy and Mordy were talking and I walked in on them and they didn't want me to hear what they were saying then Mordy picked me up and told me to play outside but Mommy said I couldn't play alone and it was almost night time and they would just wait until I was sleeping and then Mordy rolled his eyes and nodded, then Mommysaidthattheyshouldplayw ithmebutI thinkthey didittomakemetiredsoIwouldsl eepandtheycouldtalkmorethen-"

"Amby, will you please stop talking!" yelled Mordred, Merlin, and Gwaine. Arthur said nothing, finding the little boy's tale amusing. He could feel Amby slump on his shoulders, and he felt a few tear fall into his hair.

"Hey, Amby," said Arthur, pulling the boy down and into his arms, so he could face him. The boy's face was red and a few tears had spilled, which Arthur wiped away. The king smiled. "You know what we can do?"

"What?"

"It will really annoy them, but remember when we do it, don't stop," said Arthur, grinning mischievously. He whispered the plan.

"But they said to stop talking," said Amby, obedience kicking in.

"But we won't be talking."

* * *

"Ready?" Arthur asked Amby, a little while later. The boy nodded.

_"Tell everybody I'm on my way  
New friends and new places to see  
With blue skies ahead yes  
I'm on my way  
And there's nowhere else  
that I'd rather be!"_

Amby sang, throwing his head back, with the three in front turning. It had been silent for half an hour and they wanted to keep it that way.

_"Tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I'm loving every step I take  
With the sun beating down yes  
I'm on my way  
And I can't keep this smile off my face!"_

This time Arthur sang, earning glares. He smiled at them, then to the boy in his arms, who smiled back.

_"So tell 'em all I'm on my way  
New friends and new places to see  
And to sleep under the stars  
Who could ask for more  
With the moon keeping watch over me!  
_

_"Not the snow, not the rain  
Can change my mind  
The sun will come out, wait and see  
And the feeling of the wind in your face  
Can lift your heart  
Oh there's nowhere I would rather be!"  
_

They were out of the forest by now, and Arthur and Amby were still singing (in a tone-death way; they really weren't that talented). Merlin had cast a spell on her, Gwaine, and Mordred that would dull the noise, but Amby cast a spell on him and Arthur so they could sing louder.

_"'Cause I'm on my way now-  
well and truly  
I'm on my way now  
I'm on my way now!"_

They kept singing. No matter how much the three in front would yell, plead, or whine, Arthur and Amby wouldn't stop; they were having too much fun. Amby was again on Arthur's shoulders, while brandishing a stick, pretending to be a knight. Arthur every once in a while would jump, making the little boy squeal with thrill and delight.

_"Tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I just can't wait to be there  
With blue skies ahead yes  
I'm on my way  
And nothing but good times to share."_

The song was quite long, and it lasted them until they saw Camelot, white castle seeming to rise out of nowhere. Ambrose sucked in a breath and whispered down to Arthur, "Is that where we're going?"

Arthur had to smile. "Yes."

"Wow, it's big," said Amby. "Look, they think we've stopped."

Arthur looked ahead, seeing identical looks of relief on his companions. He smiled evilly. "Wanna prove them wrong?"

__

"So tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I just can't wait to be home  
With the sun beating down yes  
I'm on my way  
And nothing but good times to show  
_I'm on my way."_

"Yes, I'm on my way!"  


* * *

"I have such a headache," muttered Mordred, massaging his temples. The two blondes in the back _finally _stopped singing.

"Tell me about," said Merlin.

"You put up with that for two years?" asked Gwaine, impressed at their stamina.

"Oh hell no," said Merlin, glaring back at the two clotpoles. "Amby usually shuts up, but apparently Arthur is a bad influence."

"I think Amby found a new best friend," noted Mordred, looking back. Arthur was tickling the little boy, who was squealing with delight. Both had ecstatic looks on their faces. They looked so much alike, it was unnerving.

Gwaine shrugged. "Well, Arthur is his father."

Merlin smacked her forehead. "I forgot to tell Amby!"

"What about me, Mommy?" called up a sweet voice.

"Nothing sweetie!" said Merlin. A few minutes of silence followed that, but then….

_"It's a small world after all_

_It's a small world after all_

_It's a small, small, small world!"_

Everyone up front groaned.

* * *

**Sorry...I watched that Disney movie "Brother Bear" and that first song was in it and you know...ideas. But it caused Arthur and Amby fluff (sort of).**

**So... um. **

**Arthur: *singing***

**Amby: *singing***

**Merlin: uuuuugggggghhhhhhh.**

**Mordred: Kill me now.**

**Gwaine: *singing***

**Merlin: You traitor! **

**Gwaine: Can't beat 'em, join 'em.**

**Mordred: I hate you. **

**Amby: *singing* Thank you to the reviewers Ilovebeingme17, Lady Blade WarAngel, Auttzthoughtz, bubzchoc, and JXeleven! Yay!**

** Me: There might be another update tonight. Bye.**

* * *

**And calling all TEAM STARKID fans! If you're not a Starkid, look away, you'll think I'm nuts.**

**So Starkids unite! AVPSY COMES OUT TOMORROW! (March 15) BUT IT'S COMING OUT! OMFDWG! Sorry, just informing you. And spasing out about it. See ya Starship Rangers!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Prologue: **

Camelot was on fire, burning everywhere. Children called out for their dead mothers, blood ran in the streets. In the middle was a young man, just about of age, eyes gold, laughing. Laughing at the chaos, the mayhem, the desolation. No one noticed the trails of tears sneaking out of his eyes, or how his laugh shook with unspoken emotion.

"Portentum!" called up King Arthur, him and his knights preparing for attack.

"Arthur," said the young man, smiling with mirth. "How pleasant to see you! But have you forgotten my real name?"

"Your name has no matter in this!"

"But we used to be friends….." said the sorcerer, with mock hurt. "And you've forgotten who I am!"

"You will never be him," Arthur snarled. "_He _would never do this!"

"But I am doing this!" he laughed, eyes pure gold.

"YOU ARE NOT MORDRED!"

* * *

Remaining "just friends" with Merlin was torture for Arthur. He and her were technically still married, as they never got a divorce, and she was still technically queen. It killed him inside, being married to her and not being able to kiss her at every chance he got (something he suddenly felt compelled to to). Mordred, surprisingly, had helped him and tried to get Merlin to relent, but the warlock was unbending.

"Mommy!" said Amby, walking home with Merlin and Mordred from the magic school they started. Merlin and Mordred were teachers. "Can you just kiss Clotpole, already? You're making him sad."

When Amby heard Arthur was his father, he christened the king "Clotpole" instead of father or dad (Merlin denied having anything to do with it). The little boy was quite close to his "Clotpole" now, and hated to see him upset.

"Emrys," said Mordred, eyebrows raised in a sympathetic fashion. "You're putting him through hell. Can't you just…..you know?"

Merlin glared, but laughed. "Don't worry. I have a plan."

Indeed, she did. Later that night, the warlock had cornered the king requesting that he meet with her in the great hall. He did, hope bubbling in his chest; maybe she'd finally forgiven him.

"Merlin?" asked Arthur, walking into an empty room. Out of nowhere, a figure with black hair pushed him against the wall and….well. Lips were smashed together, teeth and tongues battling. And then it was toned down, but they still were snogging. And it wasn't like that open-mouths-sucking-on-each-other kind of kiss, but more like sucking-on-each-other's-lips-going-up-for-a-breath-of-air-and-then-going-back-for-more-while-your-eyes-are-closed-the-entire-time-and-you-have-no-idea-why-the-room-is-spinning-or-why-your-stomach-feels-like-it-has-fireworks-going-off-inside type of kiss. Pulling away was almost painful (emotionally). Arthur looked at Merlin and Merlin looked at Arthur and they repeated what they had just done.

There was much rejoicing at the announcement of Queen Merlin forgiving King Arthur.

Camelot was all but heaven for a while. Magic was free and was being honed by the queen herself, the people were happy, the harvest was plentiful, and there were no attacks on the kingdom. All was well.

Happily ever after, the end.

Yeah, right.

* * *

Camelot being Camelot, there was an attack with the next three months. Some half-crazed (of half-witted) sorcerer decided the Pendragons should no longer rule. Merlin defeated him easily, without an aid from anyone. Arthur then realized his wife could whoop his ass.

Then next thing that went wrong was they found some poor schmuck that got addicted to black magic. He, too, tried to take over the kingdom, but Prince Ambrose, the two-year old, had taken him and walked away with only a scraped knee.

Just as things got boring again, there was yet again, _another _attack, which Mordred dealt with using a spell he learned as a child. Either all these enemies were really pathetic or the three magic users were really powerful.

"What is it with these idiots?" Mordred asked, walking between Gwaine and Leon. He had been knighted a short while ago and everyone took a liking to him. He'd grown close to the unofficial Knights of the Round Table and all saw him as something as a younger brother.

"I don't know," said Gwaine, bitterly. Something obviously had pissed him off. "But next time leave some for us, huh?"

"Don't pay attention to him," said Leon, elbowing his fellow knight. "He's just mad that Morgana refused his offer to go on a walk."

"I am not!"

"You're so in love with her though!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Mordred left the two arguing like children. He chuckled as Gwaine raised his fist while Leon made kissing noises.

_Mordred._

He turned, expecting someone there but there wasn't. Weird.

_Mordred._

He looked around again, feeling unnerved.

_Mordred._

Though he'd never admit, he was getting scared. Hearing voices was not good. He went to Merlin first.

_Do not go to Emrys. She is-_

He covered his ears, breaking into a run. Merlin's chambers were not far off, just down the hall.

_Mor_-

"No!" he cried, barging into the room. Merlin stood up and worriedly walked over to him.

"Mor-?"

"Emrys, make it stop!" he said, throwing himself a her and burying his face in her neck. Tears were flowing and he was in hysterics.

_Mordred, Child of Spite, Son of Hatred, listen to me. I am your only friend now._

He clung tighter to Emrys, feeling her warmth and trying to find comfort. The voice scared him and he felt more like a child than the man he had just become. "Emrys," he squeaked. "Help."

Merlin drew him tighter (if was possible) and started stroking his hair, a motion that calmed him for some reason. "What's wrong?"

"The voice – a voice, it keeps _talking _to me! I'm not mad!" he said, bewildered and nearly delirious. "Emrys, help."

_Mordred, do not know be afraid. Your fate-_

"Emrys!" he cried in between sobs. Merlin really had no idea what to do, so she brought him to the bed and laid him down.

"Mordy, nothing is going to hurt you," she promised, hand holding his. He had a fever, she could tell. "I'm here and the voices won't get you."

"But Emrys-" he started, eyes glazed.

"Shhhhh. I'm here and I'm not leaving. Go to sleep. The voices can't get you there."

He nodded, still gripping her hand like a life line. His eyelids drooped and soon he was snoring. Merlin placed a sisterly kiss on his forehead, before running off to get Gauis.

She and the aged physician were back in no time, but for Mordred, it had been long enough. He was awake and babbling to the air. Upon seeing Merlin, he jumped up and hugged her tight. "Emrys," he muttered. "Hurts."

Merlin was wrong; the voice could still get him while he was sleeping. And they had turned him completely insane.

* * *

**Okay, I know it's late. I have no excuse. You all may virtually slap me through the computer. *hangs head in shame***

**So, today I went back and re-read this story and oh my Rowling...how are you people even reading this? It's terrible! So many spelling mistakes, and twisted plots, and poor use of...everything! Ugggh. **

**In a weird mood right now...so smile! You're an awesome person! :D**

**And that first bit that said "Prologue" was just a little sneak peak. ;)**

**So, anyways, thank you to the great reviewers Jaz Lil Bai Kay, Zoey2012, Luka Knight, Lady Blade WarAngel, fallenangelicwolf, bubzchoc, yanoe, Guest, and WishIwasthere. You get virtual cookies! *pushes cookie through screen* Thank you! **

* * *

**And sorry to all the Starkids who could watch AVPSY. Remember: "Baby, you're not alone, Cause you're here with me. And nothing's gonna bring us down, Cause..." yeah, I only remember this part when listening to it. If your not a Starkid, look away, this is...ummm, yeah I really don't know. Ummmmm...bye.**


	37. Chapter 37

"Mordred, stay here," Merlin said, note of finality in her voice. The druid had been clingy and would never let her out of his sight. His eyes were now wild looking, and his face hollow. The dark circles under his eyes were evidence that he was not sleeping.

"Emrys," he whined, breathing becoming shallow. "Don't go."

"It'll be fine, Mordy. It's just a hunting trip-"

"No! Emrys, it's a trap! You'll get hurt! The voices…I will hurt…..no….no," the boy started shaking, hands over his ears. "Emrys, make it stop!"

She was on him in an instant, hugging him tight while checking for a fever she knew was there. Mordred started twitching, and turned a few shades paler. Merlin dragged him to his room and laid him on his bed.

"Mordred, shhhh, it'll be alright," Merlin smiled at him.

"No….I won't…hurt…Emrys!" He shot up. "Emrys! Pain…you'll…dead…Gwaine…Morgana…..breaks….Arthur…no," he muttered, really not making any sense. The voices had been talking to Mordred for a month now. At some moments, he was normal, at others he was, well….this; crazed and uttering nonsense. Merlin found a sleeping draught (something Gauis had started to leave in the druid's room) and dumped into his unquestioning mouth. There, that should knock him out for a while.

Merlin slipped out and went to the courtyard, where Arthur was waiting with Amby. This would be the prince's first hunt.

"_Mer_lin," said Arthur, slightly annoyed. "What took you so long?"

"Mordred," she whispered, so Amby could not hear. Arthur's face took on a softer look and gazed down sadly. Mordred had grown on everyone, especially Arthur; they'd even gone on some misadventures together (let's just say Arthur, Mordred, three chickens, alcohol, and pink dresses don't mix anymore). The king shook his head and mounted his horse, Merlin getting on one beside him. Ambrose was seated with his Clotpole. They rode off.

The woods were usual, a rock here, a twig here, and Arthur, of course, was trying to teach his son how to track. "See these," said the king, indicating deer tracks. "If we follow these correctly, we can find the deer."

"What we gonna do when we find them?" asked Amby, shoving his thumb in his mouth.

"We shoot it," said Arthur, holding up a cross-bow.

The two-year old's eyes widened. "We're gonna kill it?! He burst into tears and ran at his mommy, who picked him. "I don't wanna kill it!"

Merlin glared at Arthur, then smirked. "Looks like someone else shares my views on hunting."

"_Mer_lin."

"_Ar_thur."

"Idiot."

"Prat."

"Love you?"

"Peacemaker. Love you too."

Neither of them saw Amby's eyes grow bigger, the story his Uncle Gwaine told him coming to mind. The little boy smiled, face buried in his mother's breast. The Prat and the Idiot. His Clotpole and Mommy. Arthur came over and sandwiched Amby between him and Merlin. If only this moment could last forever….

"If Amby doesn't want to hunt…" said Arthur, pulling away. "Want to ride?"

Amby nodded vigorously and Melrin smiled. They mounted their charges and set off again.

"C'mon, Clotpole, Mommy's gonna beat us!" screamed Ambrose, laughing as the wind rushed by. The forest was a great place to race, plenty of open space and no one around to watch. Arthur stared ahead at the clear path, then to Merlin racing at his side. Her hair was flowing back in almost an angelic way, and her expression was so concentrated it looked painful. He could tell she was having fun.

Laughing, but still focused ahead, Merlin shot a side long glance at Arthur. That was her mistake. A low-hanging branch knocked her off and she toppled to the ground, horse stampeding away. Arthur stopped and dismounted, running over in a panic.

"Clotpole!" cried a voice. Shit, he'd forgotten Amby for a second. The king turned and was surprised to see he had dismounted. "Is Mommy okay?"

"Fine," said Arthur, glancing at Merlin's unmoving form. _Please don't be dead. _"Amby, can you go pick some flowers? Really big ones with lots of petals?"

The little bot nodded and set off to do his mission, face screwed up in determination. Arthur collapsed at Merlin's side. "Merlin," he muttered.

Her eyes flashed open. "Ow."

"Merlin!" cried Arthur, panic mode turning on.

"Yes, that's my name_. Ow_," said Merlin, hand going to a bleeding gash on her head. "Shit. This hurts."

"Will you be alright?"

"One moment," said Merlin, going warlock on this. "_Hethlaye._" The gash sealed and she sat up, Arthur supporting her on the way up. "Blaaaaaaahhh. I. Hate. Pain."

"Who doesn't?"

"Shut it, prat."

At that moment Amby returned, hands muddy and full of flowers. Some still had roots attached to them. He proudly dumped them in his mother's lap before saying, "Found flowers!"

Merlin smiled. "Very good. Now what do you do with flowers?"

He smiled gleefully, scooped them up again and ran off. Arthur turned to Merlin. "What do you do with flowers?"

Merlin groaned and slumped on him. "Nothing. I just didn't want Amby to see me hurt. For all I know, he could be eating them right now."

"Can you stay here for a while? I'll get the little monster."

He really shouldn't have left her there.

* * *

_Camelot, Camelot was his. Mordred stood above it all, watching it burn. _

"_Yes," crooned a voice in his ear. "Camelot is your's for the taking. You have the king's and Emrys' trust. Take it now."_

"_No," he murmured, shaking his head. "No."_

"_Then you leave us no choice. Find Emrys."_

"_What do you want with her?" he screamed. _

"_Her? What do you mean?! Emrys – that death deity. He did this. Emrys needs to be-"_

"_Master, there is a way," said another voice. Mordred felt sick._

"_One cannot undo an enchantment that one of its kin has made," the first voice whispered back._

"_Master, you can still tamper with it."_

_Mordred felt as if his head was going to explode. Voices, too many voice. They wouldn't stop. Wake up, he yelled at himself. WAKE UP! _

"_True," said the voice, as if pondering the idea. "It will work. Mordred." It turned back to him now. "Cast this on Emrys –"_

"_NO!" he roared. "Leave me alone!"_

"_Mordred, it is your destiny, which you have failed. You formed a bond with Emrys, the one that will be your downfall. You are Arthur's bane. You should not have befriended them."_

"_I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

"_Mordred, so young and so hurt. You do not realize your true-"_

"_PISS OFF!"_

"_Mordred," it whispered. "They will watch you burn. They will-"_

_The druid couldn't take it, and all he could do was cover his ears and scream. The voices went away. The darkness surrounding his mind lifted. He saw light._

"Arrrrggghh," was the first thing out of his mouth when he woke. The next was a gasp as the voices did not return, but instead they filled his head with visions.

_Camelot burning._

_Blood staining the walls._

_A man in chainmail, lying dead as a black-haired woman screamed in grief. _

_Ambrose flat on his back, eyes open and unmoving. _

_Merlin's shirt drenched through with blood._

_Arthur eyes wide as a sword went into his chest._

_Morgana, eyes golden, destroying everything in her path._

_Knights of the Round Table, nooses around their necks as their stools are being kicked away by the executioner. _

He blinked and it was gone. _You will do this,_ the voice whispered.

"I said piss off."

* * *

Merlin was left alone with the pain for a while, but was sucking it up. It wasn't _that _bad, but, still, pain…

She jumped when a voice whispered, but she could not tell what it was saying. It was too low and too fast. Someone screamed, a bloodcurdling, bone-chilling one not unlike the Dorocha. Merlin felt pain. Intense pain, all over, as if her body was on fire. Her eyes rolled back, and she convulsed on the ground. Her mouth started foaming. It lasted a full minute.

Merlin only had one thought as the pain ceased instantly.

_What the hell? Oh, shit, not again….._

* * *

**Blaaaaaaarg. Hello there! Well, um, here's the chapter. Yeah.**

**Okay, let's talk: one main character is going to die. Any guesses who? I'm not telling. Don't worry, there'll will still be a happy ending. **

**And thank you to Lady Blade WarAngel, Luka Knight, bubzchoc, and Meegan for reviewing! You get ice cream C see? it's in and cone and on it's side! :3**

**Well, I need to go get a life...bye!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Part 4: The End**

"Merlin?" Arthur called. Ambrose apparently _had _started eating the flowers. ("Well," said the little boy, expression serious. "Clotpole, they looked tasty. And I saw Mordred eating a flower once.")

"What the hell? How'd this happen again….?" They heard a familiar voice mutter. Arthur's heart flopped. That voice.

"Merlin?" he asked, unsure, walking towards where he left her.

"Hi," grumbled the warlock. "You know what? I hate all those deities now. Always in in my business. Know what? F*** them. Just f*** them."

Amby covered his ears, but giggled. He loved his Mommy's curse words. Arthur, however, knelt by Merlin, and whispered very softly.

"Merlin, are you all right?" he asked, voice very sincere.

The warlock glowered. "I don't know. Just had my gender changed. _Again_. Because some higher entity thinks I shouldn't be able to live a normal life whatsoever. And I was just thrown off a horse after a huge branch hit my head. Hmmm, actually I'm good. What about you?"

"Oh, Merlin," said Arthur, wrapping his arms around the sulking warlock. Amby joined in too, not really caring that his mother was now a man. "Really, just f*** those deities."

"If Mommy's a boy now…" said Amby, a pondering look on his face. "Can she join us in peeing competitions now, Clotpole?"

Merlin turned to Arthur. "You have _what _competitions?"

Arthur looked away in embarrassment. "C'mon Merlin, you didn't have peeing contests with your dad growing up?"

Merlin facepalmed. "Didn't have a dad there…"

"Right. Sorry. But are you alright to walk? You took quite a blow to the head."

Merlin stood, swayed, and was steadied by Arthur. He took a few steps, and…fell. The king and the warlock argued briefly, while Amby kept poking his "Mommy" in several places that were "different." Arthur wanted to carry Merlin over to the horses, but the warlock claimed to actually have _some _dignity left.

"_Mer_lin," said Arthur, command voice taking over. "You're hurt and we need to get you back to Camelot. You can't stand on your own. Just let me-"

"No," winced the stubborn warlock, head spinning.

"_Mer_lin."

"Uggggh."

* * *

"Emrys," Mordred muttered.

_You hurt Emrys. _

"No."

_You killed Emrys._

The druid shook his head. This argument had been going on for hours.

_Emrys is dead and it's by your hand._

"No!"

_Arthur will hate you. Ambrose will seek your blood._

"Never !"

_You killed Emrys. _

_You killed Emrys._

_You killed Emrys._

"How?" he cried desperately. "How?!"

_You could have saved Emrys, stopped him from going out. You knew Emrys would get hurt, even killed and you did nothing._

Mordred sobbed. "NO!"

_Here they come now, riding into the city. Emrys' body is on the horse._

Mordred needed to see it to believe it. Stumbling to his window, he saw Arthur and Ambrose walking with…Emrys, slumped and unmoving, on a horse. Blood was matted in his hair. Emrys was dead.

"NO!" he screamed. "NO!"

_You did this. You could have warned Emrys. You did not._

"EMRYS!"

_Emrys is gone. You need to escape. _

"No," he said weakly. "No. Not Emrys…not Emrys."

_Emrys would want you to leave. _

"I killed Emrys."

_Yes._

"I killed Emrys."

_Yes. Let this fill you._

"I KILLED EMRYS!"

_Yes._

"What must I do? What must I do to make up for this?"

_Flee Camelot. Then train. We will teach you. Then you will take Camelot and rule as Emrys would want you to._

"Yes."

Mordred got up and said a spell, transporting him to the Isle of the Blessed. What had happened may have not made a lot of sense, but these voices were _inside _him, influencing his thoughts. Emrys was the only person who ever loved him, and to believe that he killed him pushed Mordred over the edge. The voices took that as their advantage, finally being able to pull him into the darkness. But with darkness, there is always a light.

And Mordred's light was Emrys.

* * *

Merlin woke up with a splitting headache and some light pressure of his chest. Forcing his eyelids open, the warlock saw Arthur next to him and Amby curled up, sleeping, on top of him.

"Merlin!" said Arthur, gripping his hand. Merlin rolled his eyes. "Never do that again! That spell healed the gash on your head, but Gauis said you had lost some blood and you were bleeding on the inside-"

"Please, can you be try and be quieter?" asked the warlock, the king's concerned and fast voice making his head pound.

"Sorry! It's just so much has gone on and Amby's just been so upset and I haven't been able to concentrate on _anything _without you and-"

"Shut it, Clotpole. You'll hurt Mommy's head," snarled a grouchy Amby, who did not like waking up or seeing his Mommy in pain. His eyes then turned soft. "Are you okay Mommy?"

"Fine," said Merlin, attempting to sit up. Arthur helped him. "Um, Amby you know now I'm-"

"I know," smiled Amby. "You're a boy now like me, Clotpole, Mordy, and Uncle Gwaine! But you'll always be my Mommy."

Merlin smiled. "Where's Mordred?"

Arthur's face turned serious and sorrowful. "Mordred ran away. I sent some knights looking for him, but it's been three days….."

Merlin closed his eyes and breathed out. "Mordred."

"Mordy will be fine!" chimed Amby. "I talked to him yesterday."

"So he didn't leave Camelot?" asked the king and the warlock.

"Nope! You wanna see him? I know where he is."

Merlin nodded and made to get up. "Where you going?" Arthur asked. "You're not leaving. You just woke up and your gender was just changed, which I can't image was pleasant."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Arthur-"

"No, you are not allowed to leave this room."

"Lock the door," Merlin snorted. "I'll just get out."

"That's why I'm not locking the door," said Arthur mischievously. The king quickly pulled out a bottle and poured its contents into his mouth. Without warning, he stooped down and pressed his lips against Merlin's, in a chaste kiss. When their mouths opened slightly, the warlock felt a sticky, semi-sweet liquid run down his throat. Arthur pulled away.

"You sneaky bastard," Merlin muttered as the sleeping draught took effect. Arthur pecked him on the lips one last time and walked out, Amby in his arms. "Got to love you, though."

* * *

Amby dragged Arthur to the edge of town, by which night had fallen. The little boy raced ahead and stopped at the last house. He knocked on the door, which was soon answered by an old man.

"Ambrose, what are you doing out this late?" he asked. Arthur coughed and the man looked up, expression not changing. "Hello, King Arthur. I suppose Amby here has told you this is where you can find Mordred."

Arthur nodded, surprised at the man's bluntness. They were then invited inside, and were seated by a fire.

"So, umm, is Mordred here?" asked Arthur as Amby snuggled into his lap.

The old man sighed. "In some ways. Currently your friend is on the Isle of the Blessed, mad with power as _they _train him to take over Camelot."

Arthur really wasn't sure what to question first. "What?"

"It is a long story."

"We've got time," said Amby, already falling asleep on his father's lap.

The old man sighed again, and Arthur noticed something familiar about him. "I know you! You were that man I met after I-I – " Arthur was still uncomfortable mentioning the time he hit Merlin.

The man smiled. "So you remember."

"What did you do, Clotpole?" Amby yawned. The little boy was asleep before Arthur could answer.

"I hope you don't mind," the old man said. "But I used a sleeping enchantment on your son. I think some of what I will tell you will scare him."

Arthur nodded, but kept his guard up, as he was always a little wary of strangers that possessed magic.

"Mordred as you know, is hearing voices."

Arthur nodded again.

"These voices are deities, goddesses of destiny. Mordred has strayed from his fate, as you and Emrys have."

"What do you mean?"

The old man looked like he was preparing for a lecture. "Emrys was never meant to be a woman. That messed destiny up. You were never meant to fall in love with each other-"

"What?!" Arthur asked, unable to control himself. He loved Merlin so much, it sometimes _hurt_. How could they not be destined to be together?

The old man sighed. "You were supposed to fall in love with the serving girl, Guinevere. When the Dorocha attacked, Emrys and the knight, Lancelot, made an animal blood sacrifice. Lancelot was supposed to die instead, but he did not. Guinevere fell in love with him and you did not fall for her. That is where destiny was screwed.

"After Emrys was changed into a girl, you began to see her in a different light. You developed feelings for each other and, well –" he indicated Amby and Arthur's wedding ring " – we see where that led. Destiny was yet again screwed over when Emrys met Mordred. Mordred was destined to be your downfall, your _bane_. He was destined to be evil, to be filled with spite. One of his names, 'Portentum,' means monster, as he was to be so dark. However, he met Emrys in the forest after your falling out –" what a nice way to put it " – and he cared for her. In turn, Emrys started to care for him. Mordred had never known love, and it changed him. Emrys kept his evil at bay. His love for Emrys kept him good.

"But that really pissed destiny off. The three goddesses of Malum – evil – had decided that was enough. They came to Mordred and began speaking to him. Slowly, they corrupted him. They got it into his mind that he killed Emrys – the only person he ever loved – and he believed it. They took control over him and now are training him to take over Camelot and to be your bane.

"The Malum also turned Emrys back into a man. I think they wanted destiny to be straightened out a little more, as Emrys was never meant to be a girl. Their spell didn't work fully, though. Their brother, Mortius, turned him, and deities cannot completely undo the work of one of their own clan. Their spell will work, but only half way. Emrys will change from being a man to a woman monthly. The first few times will cause immense pain, but that is because the magic is fresh. Over time it will simmer down."

"How do you know so much?" Arthur asked, still absorbing all the information.

The old man grimaced. "_That_ is another story."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, in a "do tell" fashion and the man sighed. "I am from the future – Camelot's future."

Arthur could have snorted. Or rolled his eyes. Or said something disbelieving. But he didn't.

"In the future, Camelot is ruled by Mordred, or Portentum, a monster, as he's become. You have been killed, along with all those you hold dear. Camelot is in ruins and all the people live in fear of him. He is a ruthless tyrant, treating those without magic or those with no inclining to serve him worse than dirt. Albion has not been united and it affected the whole world. That is why I am here, to fix that.

"However, Portentum – Mordred – began to fight the Malum. He could throw them off sometimes, only if he was thinking of Emrys. One night, he cast them away, back into the Underworld and he saw what they had made him do. He knew he needed to fix it, but how?

"Then it hit him; the three time goddesses. They are sisters of the Fates and hold the keys of all time. He bargained with them and they made a deal. He could come back and fix his mistakes in the past."

Arthur thought for a moment. "So that would mean-"

"I'm Mordred?" smiled the old man. "Yes."

The king stared at this withered old man. He could be in his eighties. Just four days ago, Arthur had seen and talked to Mordred – the young one, the one who was eighteen. It was hard to believe these two people were the same person.

And yet it wasn't. Scarily, Arthur could see the resemblance. The man in front of him was Mordred.

"How did Amby know it was you?"

Mordred smiled fondly at the sleeping boy in Arthur's lap. "He recognized my aura. He's special like that. He could see I was Mordred, yet I was not. He just decided not to question it."

Arthur felt pride for his son, whose magic was powerful enough to let him do this. Mordred stood up. "Now, we must prepare."

"For what?"

"Portentum – your Mordred – will attack Camelot in two days' time. We must fight. If he wins all is lost. If we win, everything is saved."

Arthur stood too, clutching Amby to his chest. "We better start planning. Let's head back to the castle."

Mordred nodded, but said one more thing. "In this battle, it will not be Mordred, you must remember that. It is Portentum ,the monster. In my time, when you fought me, you showed mercy. You must show him none. Be ruthless. He will not surrender. He will not show mercy."

* * *

Two days seemed to pass in a blur to Merlin. With all this new information, battle tactics, and reminders that Mordred was evil really took its toll on him.

The night before the battle, Arthur held Merlin very tight, never wanting to let go.

"This will be the worst enemy Camelot's faced yet," Arthur said, arms tightening around his warlock.

"We'll get through it. And we'll do it together," Merlin responded, hoping to reassure him.

"Together? What do you mean? _You'll _be staying here," the king commanded.

"Why? The only people that hide are the cowards and defenseless. I can fight."

"But you won't be," said Arthur, in his kingly voice with just a crack of emotion. "You still have a head injury, you're in no state to fight. Besides, Camelot will need someone to rule if I die."

"I'm fighting," Merlin said, indignantly. "And you're not going to die tomorrow."

"_Mer_lin, please-"

"No. Now let's get some sleep. Tomorrow will be an….interesting day."

They curled up together, falling into a fitful sleep. All the while, Arthur was planning.

In the morning, things were grim. No one talked much. By mid-afternoon, everyone was preparing for battle. Arthur and Merlin stood in their chambers, arming themselves.

"Merlin," said Arthur quietly.

"No, Arthur, I'm coming with you. I'm freaking Emrys! I doesn't matter if you think a little head-"

"Merlin, come here," said Arthur, same soft voice. The warlock complied and was enveloped in a tight embrace. At one point Arthur's hands moved up, but Merlin thought nothing of it.

"I'm coming with you," Merlin said firmly. He knew why Arthur was worried; the blow to his head he serious messed with him and there was the fact that they were fighting Mordred – no, Portentum.

Arthur nodded, and held him at arm's length. This could be the last time they held each other. They both lent in for a final kiss goodbye.

"Arthur-" Merlin gasped, when they pulled away. Betrayal was on his face. He slumped to the ground, only for Arthur to catch him. A sleeping draught had been forced down his throat during that kiss.

"I'm sorry Merlin," Arthur said, placing him on the bed. "But I can't lose you."

* * *

Everywhere, people were preparing as Portentum neared. Gwaine was supposed to be at a post, but he needed to do something first.

"Morgana!" he called, watching the shade run into the citadel. "Morgana!"

She turned with a surprised look on her face. "What?"

Gwaine ran over to her very quickly. He stopped in front of her. "Morgana, I want you to know something before tonight."

"Can it wait? I have to-" she started, keeping the aloof attitude she reserved just for him.

"Morgana, I love you," he said. "I love you. I just need you to know that. I love you."

Morgana turned and ran away.

* * *

Camelot was on fire, burning everywhere. Children called out for their dead mothers, blood ran in the streets. In the middle was a young man, just about of age, eyes gold, laughing. Laughing at the chaos, the mayhem, the desolation. No one noticed the trails of tears sneaking out of his eyes, or how his laugh shook with unspoken emotion.

"Portentum!" called up King Arthur, him and his knights preparing for attack.

"Arthur," said the young man, smiling with mirth. "How pleasant to see you! But have you forgotten my real name?"

"Your name has no matter in this!"

"But we used to be friends….." said the sorcerer, with mock hurt. "And you've forgotten who I am!"

"You will never be him," Arthur snarled. "_He _would never do this!"

"But I am doing this!" he laughed, eyes pure gold.

"YOU ARE NOT MORDRED!" screamed the king. His signaled for his knights to attack and they charged. With a sweep of his hand, Portentum had knocked them all out, save for Arthur and Gwaine, who had the sense to jump out of the way.

The battle had been raging for hours, knights constantly regrouping. Arthur had run countless plans by Mordred from the future, but none seemed to be able to work.

"Why?" Arthur called up. "Why would you do this?"

Portentum laughed, this time the voices of the Malum coming out. "Destiny must be fulfilled," crooned a woman's voice out of his mouth.

Arthur was suddenly struck by an idea. "Mordred!"

Portentum looked down. "Mordred is not here any longer!" screamed the Malum, possessing him. "Only Portentum and the Malum."

"Mordred, Merlin – Emrys – is still alive!"

His eyes flickered back to normal for a second, almost as if he were considering it. Gwaine was sneaking up behind the boy, sword poised to strike. The knight inched nearer and neared. He looked like he would reach him.

"Foolish mortal," snarled Portentum, conjuring a sword by magic. He forced Gwaine to the ground and stood over him. He pointed his sword at the smaller area of the knight's exposed neck. "Die, Gwaine, Knight of Camelot." And with that, Portentum brought his sword down.

_No_, thought Arthur. _No!_

It was just him now, all alone on the battlefield that used to be Camelot. At this moment Arthur knew he was going to die.

But he would not go out without a fight.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT!"

* * *

Merlin woke up groggily. Something was wrong. Why was he in bed? Why was – Memories flooded back to him. The battle! He needed to get there.

He swayed standing up, cursing Arthur and the sleeping draught. He started to run, but realized magic would be faster. He used a transportation spell thinking _Arthur_ and suddenly found himself in what used to be the lower town.

Mordred – Portentum – stood over a body. He said something to it before stabbing it through the neck. Merlin's vision was blurry and he couldn't recognize the figure on the ground.

He looked around again and saw Arthur raising his sword, a battle cry admitting from his mouth.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT!"

Portentum knocked him down with a flick of his wrist. "I expected _better_, Arthur Pendragon. So much better."

He now stood over the king, much in the same way as he had over the other body. His sword was poised. "Time for destiny to be filled."

"Mordred!" Merlin screamed. The druid stopped, sword about to impale the blonde king. He turned and his eyes widened.

"Emrys," he said, a tear leaking out of his pure gold eyes. "I killed you."

"Mordred, you did not."

"But Emrys- I-I-"

_This is a deceit,_ a voice whispered in Mordred's head. _You killed Emrys. Make up for it by killing the king._

"Mordred, no!" said Mordred's hallucination of Emrys. "Listen to me! Those voices, those goddesses, their using you!"

"But I'm making up for killing you," Mordred cried back. Something didn't make sense; how did he kill Emrys? And why would killing Arthur atone for it?

_Portentum_, the voices started, but when they did, something clicked for Mordred. Portentum. He was not Portentum. He was Mordred.

"Mordred, fight the Malum! Fight them," said Emrys running over.

What Merlin did not know was how much power they had over him. If they were going down, they were taking Mordred with them.

"Cast them out of your mind!"

Mordred could not. But he could stop this. All of this and he knew how.

Pointing the sword away from Arthur, he pointed it at himself. With no body to possess, the Malum would leave.

"Mordred don't!"

Mordred smiled. Death would be a great adventure. He brought the sword through his chest.

* * *

Arthur, being literally under him, caught Mordred as he fell. The boy's eyes were back to normal, but he was fading fast.

"Arthur," he breathed. "I can see it – Avalon."

Arthur nodded, unsure what to do except for holding him.

"Arthur," said Mordred again. "I-I can see Merlin – Merlin in the future. Emrys…Emrys means immortal! Merlin will have to watch us all die and live forever, waiting for us to return."

Arthur wasn't so sure this was just some dying man's ramblings. The boy continued as Merlin dropped down next to them. "Arthur," he said looking the king in the eye. "Love him while you can. The future will be lonely for him. Just love him while you can." He turned to Merlin. "Emrys. I want to thank you. You did something no one's ever done before; you loved me. You cared for me. Thank you…..thank you…" He drifted off.

"NO!" screamed the warlock. "NO!"

His screams were soon drowned out by another's. Morgana had found Gwaine.

* * *

Morgana knew she shouldn't have run away from him, but she was scared. She disappeared in to the spirit world. What she didn't realize time passes slower there. Five minutes there is two hours here. When she came back, she had missed the whole battle.

Everywhere was quiet, until an unearthly cry screamed into the air.

"NO!" it screamed. "NO!"

Morgana went to investigate, but stopped dead in her tracks. Laying at her feet was Gwaine, in a pool of blood. She dropped to her knees.

"Gwaine?" She prodded his face. "Gwaine? Wake up."

He wouldn't.

"C'mon, Sir Drinks-A-Lot," she said, shaking him. "Wake up!"

Nothing.

"WAKE UP!" she screamed. "Please, I haven't told you. I never told you. I never told you! Wake up! Wake up! I never told you! Wake up!"

Silence.

Morgana screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Gwaine would not wake up.

* * *

Somehow, life went on.

* * *

Morgana came to Arthur and Merlin one day.

"I have to leave," she said.

"Where are you going?" they both asked.

"I'm going back to where I belong; the spirit world," she said with a smile. "I need to tell Gwaine. I need to see him. And I'll also see Mordred too."

"We'll miss you," said Merlin. And she (the magic had changed her back into a woman for this month) meant it.

Arthur nodded. "When are you leaving?"

Morgana smiled brighter. "I've said my good-byes to everyone already. You two were last on the list."

"So now?" asked Merlin.

Morgana nodded, smile getting wider. "Good bye."

"Good bye."

Morgana faded in to the shadows, returning to where she truly belonged.

"I hope she can find Gwaine," said Merlin, sad smile on her face as a tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. Arthur brushed it away.

"Love always finds its way."

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**I cried writing some parts of this chapter. I'll admit it. Why did I kill Mordred and Gwaine? Why? *sob* **

**So after this, there's going to be an epilogue, then the end. **

**Anyways, on a brighter note, I would like to thank the awesome reviewers Luka Knight, Meegan, Lady Blade WarAngel, bubzchoc, Corey YoungBlood, Auttzthoughtz, and littleking3125. Imaginary penguins for you! :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**Epilogue:**

_Hundreds of years later._

On the shore of lonely lake, a woman – who appeared to be in her mid-twenties – stood, waiting for something. Her eyes were closed as the sun peeked over the mountain tops, giving light to the world. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes, gold with magic. It was time.

The girl, not minding her jeans getting wet, walked into the Lake of Avalon. She waited…

"Merlin!" cried a voice, and she turned. A smile, the _Merlin _smile broke out across her face. Struggling with his wet armor, Arthur Pendragon rose from the lake. He charged at her like a rampaging bull, smiling like a lovesick puppy. Merlin ran at him, and they met with a bone-crushing hug.

"Arthur, air!" the very-squished warlock choked out. The king loosened his grip and held her at arm's length.

"What happened?" he asked, looking her up and down. "One moment I'm bleeding out, then I see a light and the next thing I know, I'm rising out of a lake to find you." He paused for a moment. "What are you wearing?"

Merlin smiled. "I'm wearing clothes. Arthur, it's 2013. A lot of things have changed."

His eyes got wide. "2013? What the hell?! Was I-? Did you-?" He remembered Mordred's last words to him. _Emrys means immortal! Merlin will have to watch us all die and live forever, waiting for us to return._

Her smile faltered. "You did….die. So did everyone else, eventually. And I had to watch it, unable to do something." Tears reached her eyes. "Even Amby."

Arthur pulled her in for another tight hug. They almost didn't hear a splashing sound from behind them.

"A little help!" cried a child's voice. They broke apart and turned. Merlin nearly fainted.

Struggling to stand, was a boy about thirteen, armor on and sword at his side. His eyes flashed gold for a moment and they disappeared, freeing him of the water's drag. When he stood, he resembled Arthur greatly.

"Ambrose!"

The boy ran at them, where he was met with a three person hug. "Amby," Merlin said gripping him. "My baby."

"Mom!" he said. "Clotpole! What the hell? Why am I thirteen again? Last thing I remember was falling on the battlefield. Wait, Clotpole, aren't you dead?"

Merlin hugged them both again. "Amby, he was….dead. Y-you were too. But you're back. You're back!"

There was another splash. Turning, they saw not one, but two figures stand up. They were hand in hand, smiling at each other with love. It was Sir Drinks-A-Lot and Miss Sexy Sorceress.

Merlin was shocked. "Is everyone rising up?"

"Almost," Morgana smiled as they got nearer. It was a while before they heard another splash.

"Emrys!" was a cry heard before Merlin was thrown to the ground by a blur of something. Arms wrapped around her.

"Mordred!" She quickly hugged him back. When they stood the druid looked at Amby with a curious expression.

"_Amby?_ What the hell? You've grown!"

"Yeah, people do that Mordy," said the young blonde, with a smile. "Actually, when I died in battle, I think I was in my forties. Somehow, I'm thirteen again." Amby's face then turned horrified. "I have to go through puberty _again_?!"

Gwaine laughed. "C'mon, it won't be too bad."

"You don't know what-" Amby started, but stopped, looking stricken. His mother pulled him in for another hug.

"It looks like destiny wanted to give us a second chance," said Morgana, nobody really noticing they were still in the lake. "But what's our fate this time?"

"It's not like we followed it the first time," said Mordred, remembering how he was supposed to have hated Merlin and have been Arthur's bane. Hell, if they listened to destiny the first time, Amby wouldn't even have existed. "Should we follow fate?"

Merlin looked around at all her recently risen loved ones. She had missed them all. "Know what?" said Merlin, with a mischievous smile. "Screw destiny."

**END.**

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**OMG, it's the end. How many of you hated me for killing Gwaine and Mordred? Uh-huh, raise your hands. Well, hate me no longer! They're back! **

**Now, I would like to thank Meegan, Tholey, Lady Blade WarAngel, and Luka Knight for reviewing the last chapter. Invisiblity cloaks for you!**

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**A/N: Okay, this thing right here is just an author's note for the whole story, which you really don't have to read. It's not connected to the one above. So here it is.**

**First, I would like to thank everyone and anyone who just stuck with this story to the end. Really, this was going to be like five chapters long with no real plot and Merthur happening way to fast. Without all the readers, reviewers, favoriters, and followers, Merlin's a Girl would just be one of those stories you tried to avoid. So, for that, I thank you all.**

**And guess what I haven't done throughout this whole story? A disclaimer. So...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

**Okay, got that off my chest. **

**Well, it's been fun.**

**Good-bye. :D**


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